


A Hollow Life

by RebelOne



Category: Bleach
Genre: AU, M/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:59:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 58,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3799489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelOne/pseuds/RebelOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're a multi-platinum selling rock band currently sitting at the top of the musical world but what happens when someone gets fantasy mixed with reality and even home is no longer safe? // *AU*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_General Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, profit from this story and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s)._

* * *

 

 

**Track 1 - Keep Quiet No Longer**

 

The energy in the stadium was unreal. The packed crowd of twenty thousand hot and sweaty men and women hummed with excitement and the field of bodies rolled and shook like a prime surfer’s wave with the deep base and heavy guitar thumping and screaming from the stage. The crowd surged with the music and thousands of voices sang along with the front man who stood proud at center stage with his mouth almost pressed to the microphone, shouting one of the band’s older but still popular hits.

 _Deep inside these burning buildings_  
_Voices die to be heard_  
_Years we spent teaching a lesson_  
_We ourselves had never learned_

 _And if strength is born from heartbreak_  
_Then mountains I could move_  
_And if walls could speak I'd pray_  
_That they would tell me what to do_

Ichigo Kurosaki, the front man and voice of A Hollow Life, put everything he had into the words that flowed from him. He could almost feel the heartbeat of every fan out there. Energy from the crowd flooded over him in a wave of ecstatic force, electrifying his nerve endings and setting him ablaze. There was nothing he loved more than being onstage, performing his songs in front of a sold out crowd. To feel the audience’s pulse in the air was something he hoped he could feel forever.

The song rocked from the speakers while the band raged on stage. Ichigo stood up front, in the center, with his beloved Gibson in his hands. His bright orange hair which had been carefully mussed into a ‘just rolled out of bed’ look was now semi-wet with the sweat that dripped down his face. The stage lights shining down onto him were hot enough, never mind the pyrotechnics that erupted from the stage during perfectly timed portions of the show. It had been Kisuke’s idea to add the effects and while some of the band had been against it originally, they’d all come around eventually. Their loud punk-rock sound needed some equally loud punk-rock effects. At least, that’s what Kisuke, their manager, had said and Ichigo had to agree. The fans seemed to enjoy it anyway.

 _No signs of life here, save the embers, the occasional flame,_  
_We'd know the way but can't remember, conception to the grave,_  
_Shout confessions from the greatest heights, where no one can hear,_  
_All my fears, my insecurities are falling like tears._  
  
_If you see me, please just walk on by, walk on by._  
_Forget my name and I'll forget it too._  
_Failed attempts at living simple lives, simple lives_  
_Are what keep me coming back to you._

 

The lyrics growled from Ichigo’s throat and he couldn’t help but smile while his best friends raged around him. Grimm’s nimble fingers flew across the strings of his guitar while Toshiro’s plucked against the fatter strings of his bass. The three guitarists spanned the front of the stage while Renji sat to the rear, behind his massive drum kit, keeping the beat.

 _The drones all slave away, they're working overtime,_  
_They serve a faceless queen, they never question why._  
_Disciples of a God that neither lives nor breathes_  
_But we have bills to pay; yeah we have mouths to feed!_  
_I won't come back!_

 _And if you see me, please just walk on by, walk on by._  
_Forget my name and I'll forget it too._  
_Failed attempts at living simple lives, simple lives_  
_Are what keep me coming back to you._

_I'm coming back to you_

Ichigo screamed the last line just as a spike of flame shot from each end of the stage. He took a breath as the crowd went wild, taking the time to readjust his guitar strap around his neck while the fans jumped and screamed. Leaning into the mic a bit more, he smiled, thanked the crowd and immediately started the next song. The rhythm of it changed their energy from a screaming mass to a writhing stretch of rolling human bodies. Toshiro’s bass and Renji’s drums beat out a rhythm that had the crowd grinding in place rather than raging until Ichigo’s melodic voice went from a soft timbre to a growl that only he could accomplish.

 _Warm yourself by the fire, son,_  
_And the morning will come soon._  
_I’ll tell you stories of a better time,_  
_In a place that we once knew._

 _Before we packed our bags_  
_And left all this behind us in the dust,_  
_We had a place that we could call home,_  
_And a life no one could touch._

 _Don’t hold me up now,_  
_I can stand my own ground,_  
_I don’t need your help now,_  
_You will let me down, down, down!_

The crowd immediately became an ocean again with twenty thousand people jumping in place; hands raised in a rock-n-roll triumph. Ichigo smiled against the mic and cast a glance to Grimm who’d taken a place on the edge of the stage, head bent low as he played. A group of girls were scrambling to get closer, reaching over each other trying to simply touch the blue haired musician. As usual, he made time to smile and wink at them before moving away, heading back to his own mic where he chimed in with backup vocals.

 _We are the angry and the desperate,_  
_The hungry, and the cold,_  
_We are the ones who kept quiet,_  
_And always did what we were told._

 _But we’ve been sweating while you slept so calm,_  
_In the safety of your home._  
_We’ve been pulling out the nails that hold up_  
_Everything you’ve known._

 _on’t hold me up now,_  
_I can stand my own ground,_  
_I don’t need your help now,_  
_You will let me down, down, down!_

Toshiro stayed back from the edge as usual, eyes roaming the crowd but focused on the music coming from the white bass in his hands. Ichigo smirked at the sight of the smaller man. Toshiro Hitsugaya wasn’t really a ‘people person’ and he tended to get rude towards others. Lucky for him, Ichigo was the front man and the face of the band which allowed Toshiro to stay in the background most of the time. It was really too bad for those that didn’t know him personally because behind his ‘I’m too good for you’ façade he was a really cool guy. The fans loved him regardless. The girls thought he was pretty and the guys either agreed with the girls or just appreciated the way Toshiro could play those four strings better than anybody else.

 _So open your eyes child,_  
_Let’s be on our way._  
_Broken windows and ashes_  
_Are guiding the way._

 _Keep quiet no longer,_  
_We’ll sing through the day,_  
_Of the lives that we’ve lost,_  
_And the lives we’ve reclaimed._

 

Ichigo stepped back from the mic and focused on the crowd while his fingers moved over the strings on his guitar. The notes were so familiar to him now that he barely needed to look down as he and his three best friends finished up the instrumental part of the song. He could hear people in the crowd singing along with the notes and it made him smile. The girls in the front row were dancing suggestively; still trying to get Grimm’s attention but the man wouldn’t be and couldn’t be swayed from his music. It was what he was most passionate about and once he immersed himself in something, once he truly set himself to doing something, there was no one around that could stop him. It was one thing Ichigo truly appreciated about him. Both men had problems sleeping some nights and it was on those sleepless nights when they were stuck on the bus, riding from city to city that the two of them would sit up and write. Some of their biggest hits had come from those insomnia-induced sessions.

 _Don’t hold me up…_  
_(I don’t need your help, I’ll stand my ground)_

With a few final lines, Ichigo and Grimm sang the final verse and with a final pull on his whammy bar, Grimm brought the song to a close and Ichigo smiled at the crowd. “Thank you,” he said before the screaming magnified. “You guys are a wicked good crowd. You seem to be having a good time so here’s another for you.”

The screaming never really stopped and Ichigo never expected it to. He couldn’t imagine playing in front of a crowd that didn’t make noise and scream and screech at him and his band mates, but there was enough of a lull in the noise level to signal to him that it was a perfect time to start the next song. Back in his earlier days of singing he’d hated singing unaccompanied and completely solo but he’d gotten over it and now even enjoyed it. When he’d been writing the song he was about to start he’d thought it would sound better with a lot more musical accompaniment during the first few lines but Grimm and the others had disagreed. It had been recorded with just Grimm playing a few notes along with him and that was how they performed it.

 _It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten_  
_What the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them_  
_As the telling signs of age rain down a single tear is dropping_  
_Through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten_

Ichigo stood with his hands on the mic, guitar hanging from his neck and feet spread slightly. The words came from him clear and powerful before Renji and Toshiro initiated a quick brutal beat that had Grimm and Ichigo both smiling as they reached for their respective guitars and began to play and sing.

 _There is no reconciliation that will put me in my place_  
_And there is no time like the present to drink these draining seconds_  
_But seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you_  
_Like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear_

 _So tell me now_  
_If this ain't love then how do we get out?_  
_Because I don't know_  
_That's when she said I don't hate you boy_  
_I just want to save you while there's still something left to save_  
_That's when I told her I love you girl_  
_But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have_

There was such freedom in performing. While he was onstage, Ichigo felt like he could do anything. The band had every person in the crowd under their spell and Ichigo could wrap their minds around him with his words.

 _But the day pressed on like crushing weights_  
_For no man does it ever wait_  
_Like memories of dying days_  
_That deafen us like hurricanes_  
_Bathed in flames we held the brand_  
_Uncurled the fingers in your hand_  
_Pressed into the flesh like sand_  
_Now do you understand?_

 

The band played several of their biggest hits and a few of their earlier songs and even threw in a cover of Journey’s “Any Way You Want It” before they brought the show to a close with their current radio single. Ichigo thanked the crowd again and meant every word. He wasn’t stupid. He knew they wouldn’t be where they were, at the top of the music world, without their fans and the band used every opportunity they had to thank the people that weren’t afraid to stand outside in the rain or snow to buy tickets or their newest release. The crowd was one loud thunderous roar as the show ended. Renji came out from around his drums and joined the others at the front where they all either bowed or waved. Ichigo gave the crowd one last smile and followed his friends backstage where people were scrambling around to either get at the band for questions or autographs or to get the show closed down. Instrument techs went straight for the guitars and relieved them from Toshiro, Grimm and Ichigo. Without another word, they all headed for the dressing room to grab their stuff.

Ichigo wanted to get on the bus where he could sit and rest on the way to the hotel where a long hot shower was waiting for him. From the corner of his eye he watched Renji twirl his drumsticks in his fingers. The motion was perpetual and had become a constant to Renji. Something he always did without realizing it. Whether he had his drumsticks or a pencil or chopsticks when they had Chinese takeout, they were always twirled in his fingers before he’d start tapping out a beat on the closest hard surface. Ichigo smiled at the image his friend made. Sweat soaked bright red hair hung down his back from the ponytail he always wore during shows and the bandanna he wore could have been rung out it was so wet. Ichigo had trouble understanding where the man’s perpetual energy came from. The taller of the two had just spent three hours raging behind a drum kit, using his arms and legs to set the pace for the music and even though his shirtless tattooed chest was practically dripping in sweat he still looked like he could run ten miles with no problem.

“That was one hell of a show, Itch,” Grimm said, using the nickname he’d given Ichigo years before.

Ichigo nodded and smiled. “Yeah, it was. They seemed to dig the Journey cover.”

“We should do more of that,” Toshiro, who was walking behind Ichigo, added quietly. “

Renji, who’d started tapping a beat onto his leg, nodded in reply. “Hell yeah. That was bad ass.”

Ichigo didn’t spare any time grabbing his bag from the dressing room and heading out to the bus that was parked right next to the building. Stepping from the door he quickly cast a glance to his left to see a small group of fans standing behind a barricade. He didn’t stare too long but was sure he caught sight of long auburn hair before Renji moved through the door behind him and pushed him towards the waiting bus with a hand on his back. “Keep it moving, Skinny.”

Frowning to himself, Ichigo took the stairs up into the bus and plopped down into a chair.

Renji tossed his own bag onto the floor next to him and took the chair across from Ichigo. “What’s with the frown, my man?”

Scowling brown eyes slid over to meet curious red-brown ones. “Outside… I thought I saw her…”

Renji frowned. “Her? You mean…”

Ichigo nodded.

“Where?”

“Outside,” Ichigo repeated, pointing in the direction of the barricade.

Renji’s scowl deepened as he stood up and moved towards the window. He stared outside for a moment before shaking hishead. “I don’t see her, Ichigo. Are you sure?”

“No. I was going to look but you pushed me into the bus.”

“Sorry,” the drummer said, looking back at him.

Ichigo shrugged. “Not like I _want_ to see her, you know. But I saw someone with the same hair and I thought it was her.”

Renji watched him shiver involuntarily. “Well you’re safe on the bus so don’t worry too much about it. Kisuke’s got security all around us, you know. She won’t be able to get close enough to do anything.”

Ichigo nodded and chewed on his lower lip. “Yeah. You’re right.”

Before anymore could be said, Toshiro and Grimm jumped onto the bus and the door swung shut behind them, cutting off all of the outside noise. Toshiro saw the grim looks on their faces and before he could ask, Renji told them what Ichigo had seen.  
Grimm cursed. “Fucking stalker. You’d think she’d get the hint, eh? It’s obvious Itch doesn’t want anything to do with her.”

Toshiro grimaced. “But her mind doesn’t see it like that and you know it. She thinks they have a relationship and her twisted brain can’t comprehend the fact that they’re basically nothing more than strangers. Is she still sending you gifts, Ichigo?”

Ichigo shrugged. “Don’t know. Kisuke’s handling all of that. I don’t see any of it if she is.”

“And the phone calls?”

“Yeah, every once in a while I get a hang up call.”

Renji sat forward in his chair and leaned his elbows on his knees. “You should change your number again.”

Ichigo blew out an exasperated breath and ran his hands through his still damp hair. “I know but I’m sick of having to do that. It’d be what, the tenth time in the last couple of months? I’m sick of having to remember a new phone number every week.”

“You can’t afford to take risks, Ichigo.”

“I know but…”

“No buts, Ich,” Renji said, slightly annoyed. “Are you going to just let this continue?”

Ichigo slid farther down his seat and stretched his legs out. “What do you expect me to do, Renji?”

“I…”

“I agree with Ichigo.”

Renji, Grimm & Ichigo all turned to look at Toshiro. His words were clearly not what Renji wanted to hear. “What?”

“There isn’t much he _can_ do, is there,” he said, “It’s not like she’s done anything yet. Yes, it’s creepy and disturbing but until she does something truly dangerous there isn’t much anyone can do about it.”

“So you just want it to continue? You want Ichigo to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life? Waiting for some psycho to do something to him?”

The bus door swung open with a hiss before anyone could answer and Kenny, the band’s giant crazy haired bus driver, stepped onboard. “Everyone here and ready to head to the hotel?”

Grimm was the first to respond. “Yeah, let’s get the hell out of here. I need a shower.”

Nothing else was said while Kenny put the bus in gear and pulled away from the stadium. Toshiro and Grimm moved away from Ichigo and headed to the back. Ichigo could hear them arguing over which game to play on the Xbox and it made him smirk. Nothing changed between those two. They constantly argued like brothers. Renji stared at Ichigo until his eyes met him again. “I’m not trying to piss you off, you know,” he whispered. “I just worry.”

Ichigo nodded. “I know and I appreciate it.”

“Are you going to mention tonight to Kisuke?”

“Yes. He should know. I’ll call him later.”

Renji sat back and sighed. “Sounds good, Ich. Sounds good.”

Ichigo simply nodded again and stared out the window. It might sound good to Renji but he wasn’t the one being forced to deal with a young woman who believed she was in a relationship with him.


	2. Track 2 -

**Track 2 – In Shadows**

 

          Ichigo felt like he stood under the water for an hour before he shut off the taps and wrapped a fluffy white hotel towel around his hips. They never stayed at five star resorts while on tour but accommodations weren’t the Super 8 either and Ichigo had always appreciated the difference. He ran a hand through his wet hair to knock out some of the water and pulled open the bathroom door. Crisp cool air blew over him, kissing his skin. The first thing he did when he got to his room was to peel off his stage clothes and stand in the shower until his skin started to prune. It was more or less a ritual to him although it had no significance other than to wash a concert’s worth of grime off of him.

 

He usually wore tighter fitting clothes but after a show all he wanted to do was jump into his sweat pants and a t-shirt and sleep. The towel was tossed back into the bathroom and familiar black sweats were resting on his hips when someone knocked on the door. Ichigo knew who it was before he even opened the door. “Hey Ren,” he said as he pulled the door open and stepped back to let the other man in.

“Hey Ich,” Renji answered after Ichigo closed the door.

Ichigo glanced at his friend before walking back to the bed where he’d left his old black Master of Puppets t-shirt flopped across the corner of the comforter. ”What’s up, Renji?” he asked while stuffing his arms into the sleeves and pulling it over his head.

“Have you talked to Kisuke yet?”

Ichigo turned to glare at the other man. “I just got out of the shower, Renji. I haven’t had time.”

Renji nodded. “Yeah, I figured. I just didn’t want you to forget or just decide to not tell him.”

Ichigo scowled. “I’m not an idiot, Renji. I wouldn’t just ignore it.”

“No, but you worry about everyone else before you think about yourself. Please don’t ignore the risk, Ichigo”

The orange haired man stared at his red-headed friend and was touched by the concern he saw on his tattooed face. “I won’t,” he whispered.

Renji stared back at him for another moment before nodding and looking away.  “Ok.”

“I was just going to call him now. Do you want to stay while I talk to him? He might want to talk to you too.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Ichigo sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his phone, dialing Kisuke’s number while Renji sat down right next to him.

 

Kisuke Urahara, the band’s friend and longtime manager answered on the second ring. “Kurosaki, how was the show?”

Ichigo scowled at the man’s eternal happiness. “It was good. We want to throw in some more covers every once in a while. The crowd really liked it.”

“Yeah? That’s great.”

Ichigo could hear voices in the background and didn’t want to keep the man on the line too long since he was always busy. “Listen, Kisuke, the reason I’m calling…”

“Yeah, hold on, Ichigo,” he interrupted before shouting an order to his business partner, Tessai. He wasn’t gone long before coming back on the line. “Sorry about that, Ichigo. What were you saying?”

Renji, sitting close enough to Ichigo that their thighs were touching, could hear Kisuke over the phone and could feel Ichigo tensing up. Trying to be supportive, he reached over and grabbed Ichigo’s hand that had been resting on his leg. Ichigo, in turn, intertwined their fingers and squeezed gently in a silent thanks. “I think she was at the show tonight, Kisuke,” Ichigo said.

“Are you sure?”

“No, not completely, but I thought I saw her outside when I was getting on the bus.”

“Did anyone else see her?”

Ichigo unconsciously squeezed Renji’s hand again. “No.”

Kisuke sighed. “What was she doing?”

Ichigo shrugged before remembering that Kisuke couldn’t see him. “I only saw someone with the same hair. It probably wasn’t even her. We’re on the other side of the country now, but she was just standing there, behind one of the security barricades, out by the where the bus parked.”

“She was just standing there?”

“Yeah.”

“I can add more security if you think you’ll need it.”

It was Ichigo’s turn to sigh and he did, heavily. “No, I don’t think that’s necessary. She weighs like ninety pounds. What could she do?”

Renji almost growled and Ichigo must have felt him tense up because he turned his head to look at him questioningly. The drummer merely shook his head.

“All right, Kurosaki. If you think that’s best.”

‘I don’t know what’s best, Kisuke. I just don’t want twenty guys following me around all the time.”

“And I can respect that, Ichigo. I just don’t want anything happening to you or any of the other guys. A Hollow Life is worth a heck of a lot to me, you know.”

Ichigo smirked. “Yeah, I know, you greedy bastard.”

Kisuke laughed. “Keep me posted, okay? All it takes is a phone call to get more security on you.”

“Yeah, okay. Talk to you later, Kisuke.”

         

Renji watched the orange-brown brows come together in a classic Ichigo frown as he ended the call and tossed his phone on the bedside table. “Well?” Renji prompted when Ichigo just sat there, staring at their intertwined fingers.

“Well what?” I told him what happened.”

“Yeah. I heard. What is he going to do?”

 Ichigo finally met Renji’s eyes. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“You heard what I told him, Ren. I don’t think he needs to do anything. He offered to get more security but I turned it down.

”Ich…”

“Yeah?”

Renji stared into Ichigo’s brown eyes and was so tempted to do something they’d skated around for years. He wanted to touch the side of Ichigo’s face with his fingertips and gently trace over the fine bone structure he’d find there before plundering those pink lips, but temptation was meant to be denied and until Ichigo made it clear that he was into more than casual flirting, Renji refused to act. Jumping into a relationship was risky enough when it was just the two of them but there was Grimm and Toshiro to consider as well. If it went bad between the two of them it would probably tear the band apart and that was something Renji wasn’t willing to risk. With a great sigh, Renji let go of Ichigo’s hand and stood up. “You’re an idiot.”

“Wha?”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

Ichigo watched with confusion as his drummer walked out of the room and shut the door softly behind him. The orange haired man stared at the closed door for a minute before flopping backwards on the bed. He couldn’t really remember when it had started; this thing between him and Renji. They’d been friends from the very beginning, when the band had formed in their junior year of high school and it had been completely platonic until sometime later. Ichigo frowned, trying to remember.

It had been after they’d hooked up with Kisuke and he’d gotten them signed. Their first album had just been released and they’d been out celebrating. Ichigo could see it now; the bar they’d all gone to had been packed full of beautiful young women and several of them immediately latched onto Renji. Ichigo had his share of them too but he hadn’t taken one home that night. Renji had. Ichigo could now remember the strange ache he’d felt in his chest when he’d woken up that next morning and had shuffled out into the kitchen of the three bedroom apartment he had shared with Grimm and Renji and had seen that girl standing at the counter, drinking coffee out of Ichigo’s favorite coffee mug wearing nothing but one of Renji’s NOFX t-shirts.

 

It had felt like a punch to the gut and it had taken a long time for the singer to come to terms with those feelings. It had nothing to do with gender. Ichigo had never let that get in the way of his relationships. It was more about the strength of the emotion he’d felt when coming face to face with Renji’s personal choices. Ichigo had wanted to tell her to put his cup down and get the hell out of his apartment but he’d simply turned away and hurried back to his room where he’d laid in bed for the rest of the day. He’d never mentioned it to Renji and he’d tried to play it cool afterwards but things had ended up strained anyway. Renji wasn’t stupid though, no matter what other people might say and he’d known something was going on. It had been after a show when the dam had finally burst and Renji had demanded to know what was wrong. Ichigo had chickened out though and only told Ren enough to show his concern for his choices. He’d told the drummer that he just wanted him to be careful because he didn’t want him to get hurt. Ichigo scowled now, thinking back on those days that seemed so long ago. They’d all grown into their own and that apartment was long gone.

 

The young singer hated to dwell on the past but he always seemed to. Living in regret now made him move to the black acoustic guitar sitting in its case on the sofa. It was propped on his lap when he started to play the song he’d written back then. The guys had liked it enough to put it on one of their earlier albums but Ichigo had never told anyone who he’d written it for.

_They turn the lights down low,_  
_In shadows hiding from the world,_  
 _Only coming out when it gets cold_  
  
_The seas part when they hit the floor,_  
 _The voices carry on and out the door_  
 _And everything you touch turns into gold_  
  
_Even though I've come so far,_  
 _I know I've got so far to go_  
 _And any day now I'll explode_  
  
_Like the angel you are you laugh creating_  
 _A lightness in my chest,_  
 _Your eyes they penetrate me,_  


Ichigo sang softly, strumming the strings with deft fingers, thinking of better, easier days when it would have been far simpler to admit his feelings. Now though, anything that went down would be fodder for the press and Ichigo felt too much for the other man to let that happen. He’d seen how Grimm’s various relationships had been splattered across the gossip rags, although, admittedly, Grimm was less than discreet when it came to who he bedded. From groupies to A-list movie stars, Grimm had taken then into his bed only to move on to the next when the newness wore off. The blue haired man wasn’t interested in anything long term and more than one gorgeous young woman had been tossed aside after mentioning any sort of commitment.

Ichigo could understand it but he didn’t agree with it. Toshiro’s outlook on life was a little easier to see. The short white-haired man had been in a serious relationship with Ichigo’s younger sister Karin for over a year. They’d been practically inseparable since the dark-haired girl had turned eighteen. Even now, while the band was on tour they texted each other constantly and talked on the phone several times a day. Ichigo was happy for them and supported the relationship completely.

          Now, with the guitar on his lap, he thought of Renji, of his long bright red hair and the tattoos that got added to with every success the band had. He thought of the confidence that Ren exuded from every pore and the goofy sense of humor that spilled out with the ability to cheer everyone up no matter what was bothering them.

_And each and every day will lead into tomorrow_  
_Tomorrow brings one less day without you_  
 _But don't wait up just leave the light on_  
 _‘Cause all the roads that I might take_  
 _Will all one day lead back to you_  
  
_And like the angel you are you laugh creating_  
 _A lightness in my chest_  
 _Your eyes they penetrate me_  
 _Never cease to amaze me_  


 

          His fingers strummed the last few notes while he whispered the last line, then sat in silence before cursing out loud. He didn’t like to live in regret but he couldn’t help it. He regretted not telling Renji how he truly felt because now, on the occasions where the band went out after shows and had a few drinks Ichigo had a tendency to have a few too many and made an ass of himself. He’d flirt with Renji and maybe touch him on the arm or leg but keep it there a heartbeat too long. He felt bad about it because his drunkenness seemed to keep Renji sober and nearby so he could keep an eye on the orange haired man. Ichigo knew he was a serious cock-blocker but he couldn’t seem to make himself stop. Suddenly, the phone ringing brought him out of his inner turmoil. Ichigo reached for his phone and frowned at the screen. It wasn’t a number he recognized. “Hello?” he answered, pressing the phone to is ear.

          The other end sat in silence.

          Ichigo wasn’t a stranger to this type of call. He gave it one more try. “Hello?”

          He thought he could hear light breathing and was about to hang up when he heard a voice in the background say something along the lines of “Hello, welcome to the Sheraton...” And Ichigo felt his blood run a little colder. The caller, and Ichigo had no doubts about who it was, was in the hotel, standing in the lobby close enough to the desk to hear the desk girl greet a guest. Ichigo’s hand tightened on the phone before the other end clicked off. In a moment of illogical panic Ichigo dove for the door and triple checked that it was securely locked so that even if she managed to get a key to his room she wouldn’t be able to get inside. A slightly trembling hand pushed through spiky orange hair as Ichigo stepped away from the door and walked back to the bed. He put his guitar away and quickly slid between the cool sheets Luckily, he’d never had a problem sleeping in strange beds and after a couple of deep breaths, he was able to drift off to a light sleep, thinking that he’d have to call Kisuke again in the morning to let him know that he’d gotten another call and that it had been a little close for comfort.


	3. Track 3 -

Track 3 

The sun had barely risen when Grimm knocked on three separate doors demanding pancakes and lots of them. Less than thirty minutes later the four members of A Hollow Life stumbled onto the bus where Grimm ordered Kenny to immediately take them to the nearest IHOP before he turned and went straight to the back of the bus where the TV and video games were. Toshiro followed although it looked like his eyes weren’t even open all the way. Renji flopped down onto one of the chairs with his iPod plugged into his ears. Ichigo, barely awake, shuffled to one of the bunks and collapsed onto it. He was fast asleep in seconds and wasn’t too happy when Grimm shook him awake as Kenny parked the bus behind the restaurant. The four young men filed off of the bus and into the restaurant and drew more than a few curious stares.  
Several employees seemed to recognize them and were kind enough to see that they got a semi-private table in a corner next to an emergency ext. Several older patrons seemed to dislike the image the rock stars made.  
Grimm tended to dress like an everyday guy but his light blue hair always drew attention. Toshiro got it no matter what due to his hair and insanely pretty face. His short stature made people think he was a junior high student playing with grown men and his usual attire of black jeans with belt chains and vintage band t-shirts gave the impression of a young punk looking for trouble.  
Renji could usually be found in baggy blue jeans and a hoodie. Ichigo had slightly different style. He preferred a tighter fit and was almost always encased in slim fitting pants and an equally tight shirt. He’d read an article about himself once where the author had said he was “emo”. He didn’t know what that meant and really didn’t care. He’d never been one to get mixed up with labels and tried to avoid getting lumped into any specific groups.  
Now, sitting at the table with the others, he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open. The waitress came and filled their cups full of steaming black coffee and Grimm immediately dumped three packets of sugar and two tubs of creamer into his. Ichigo grabbed his mug gratefully and sipped it slowly until it was cool enough to gulp. One by one they ordered their food and slowly woke up.  
Grimm and Renji were the morning people and their energy level was disorientating to Toshiro and Ichigo who were simply trying to keep their foreheads from crashing into the table. “So, Itch, Renji told me you talked to Kisuke.”  
Ichigo nodded with half closed eyes.  
“He was okay with you turning down the extra beef?”  
Toshiro quirked an eyebrow up. “Beef?”  
Grimm rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you know. Beef. As in security?”  
“Oh,” the smaller man said. “Got it.”  
Ichigo took a drink of his coffee before answering. “He made it clear that it was my decision.”  
“And you think that’s okay?”  
Ichigo thought for a minute. “I did last night.”  
Renji caught the inflection and leaned forward in his chair. “What’s changed?”  
Once again, brown eyes met intent red-brown. “I got another call last night.”  
“From her?”  
Ichigo shrugged. “Don’t know for sure but the call came from the hotel lobby.”  
Their singer’s words caused an immediate reaction from all three men listening.  
“The lobby?” Toshiro asked.  
“Are you sure?” Renji demanded.  
“What the fuck?” Grimm shouted, gaining more than a few disapproving looks.  
Ichigo glanced at all three faces before continuing. “I don’t know if it was her but I could hear a voice in the background and it was one of those girls that worked behind the front desk at the hotel.”  
“Did they call the room phone?” Toshiro asked quietly.  
Ichigo shook his head. “My cell.”  
“And they didn’t say anything?”  
“No, nothing. Just breathing.”  
Both Grimm and Renji sat back and glanced at each other before turning back to Ichigo. “You know what this means, don’t you?” Renji asked rhetorically. “We need that extra security. It was one thing when she was just sending you emails through the website or letters through that club but now she’s following you across the country, Ichigo, and somehow she keeps getting your phone number. It’s fucking creepy.”  
“I know,” Ichigo said softly.  
“Did she only call once last night?” Grimm asked.  
Renji took one look at Ichigo’s exhausted face and knew the answer. “How many times did she call?”  
Ichigo looked miserable and it broke Renji’s heart but he refused to let his friend deal with the nightmare on his own.  
Ichigo sighed and gripped his coffee mug between both hands. “Only once from the hotel. My phone rang twice more but it was from other numbers and I didn’t answer. Turned it off after that.”  
“Did you get any sleep last night?” the bassist asked softly.  
Ichigo glanced at Toshiro and shook his head. “A little but not much.”

The waitress appeared a moment later with two trays full of food. Ichigo and Toshiro both stared in good humor as both Grimm and Renji practically pounced on their plates and dug into pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage and toast with extreme gusto.

With food on the table and empty stomachs filling up, the conversation turned lighter and Ichigo and the others found themselves laughing and joking just like old times before they’d had to worry about record companies and managers and psycho stalker fans. 

Ichigo watched with amusement as Grimm shoved a massive forkful of syrupy pancake into his mouth and then tried to tell a joke. Toshiro threw a wadded up paper napkin ring at him and told him he had horrendous table manners before laughing at the look Grimm gave him. It was hard to pull off a ‘don’t piss me off’ look, even for Grimm, when his cheeks were puffed out like a hamster. The blue haired man gulped down his food with a grin and turned his attention to Ichigo. “So, Itch, been working on any new material?”  
Ichigo shook his head after taking a sip of his orange juice. “Not really. I’ve had some ideas but nothing great.”  
“I’ve had some ideas too so we should sit and jam it out on the way to the next show.”  
Ichigo nodded. “Sounds good.”

Before too long the majority of the plates were clean and the young musicians were leaning back in their chairs, trying to ease the miserable feeling in their overstuffed bellies. Grimm, who’d never cared about what anyone thought of him, let out a huge belch and earning yet another disgusted look from the elderly couple sitting two tables away.  
“Nice, Grimm. Real nice.” Toshiro chastised.  
“What?” the blue haired rocker said. “I ain’t gonna just hold it in.”  
“You’re such a gentleman,” Ichigo joked before standing up and stretching his arms high above his head. He was practically on his toes when his back finally popped and he sighed in relief.  
Renji, who’d tried and failed to ignore the involuntary show Ichigo had just given the restaurant, stood as well and grabbed the check. “C’mon, let’s go,” he said, leading the way to the register.  
The four paid their bill and met Kenny at the bus. The giant man was sitting in the open doorway with a Styrofoam takeaway box of eggs, bacon and toast balanced on his lap. “You could have come in,” Grimm said.  
“Yeah, I know, but I’d rather stay and watch the bus.”

Kenny stood and moved down into the parking lot while Ichigo and Toshiro disappeared into their home away from home while they were on the road. Grimm stayed outside to have a cigarette and he held Renji back with an arm across the chest. “Hey, Ren.”  
“Renji sighed before looking at the other man. “Yeah?”  
“What’s going on with Ichigo?”  
“What do you mean?”  
Grimm took a puff off his menthol and rolled his eyes. “Look, you can tell me to mind my own business but what’s going on with you two? Ever gonna do anything with all the tension between you guys?”  
Renji’s red-brown eyes stared into Grimm’s teal-blues before shouldering past him. “Mind your own business, Grimm.”  
The guitarist wasn’t sure if he should be pissed off that Renji had just blown him off or if he should be amused at how Renji obviously wanted to make something of the tension but was holding himself back. Grimm chose the latter and laughed softly to himself before taking one last puff of his cigarette and flicked the smoldering butt away.  
He stepped up onto the massive luxury vehicle and went to the back, beyond the seating area and table, past the bathroom and the four bunks that were surprisingly comfortable, to the door that led to the band’s private space. They’d taken to calling it the “Inner Sanctum.” Beyond the burl wood door Grimm found Toshiro scowling at the TV with an Xbox controller in his hand. Renji was stretched across a bench that ran under the windows on one side with his arms crossed under his head and his eyes closed. Ichigo was flopped in one of the two chairs on the other side with a very familiar notebook in his hands.  
The old spiral bound thing was barely holding itself together and there couldn’t be more than a dozen blank pages left in it. It had been the thing they’d written most of their songs in and even now Ichigo was scratching lyrics across one of the pages. “Got something good, Itch?”  
The singer looked up and shrugged. “Don’t know. Maybe.”  
Ichigo handed the book to Grimm and slouched farther down into the chair.  
Grimm mouthed the words as he read them, already writing music to go with them. After a minute he grabbed the pen from Ichigo’s hand and sank into the second chair. He was silent as he jotted down notes above the hand written lyrics. “Hell yeah, “He finally said. “This is good. Here, tell me what you think of this.”  
There was always a guitar or two hanging from a rack on the wall and Grimm grabbed one, beginning to play after a moment. Ichigo listened, mentally singing the words. After a line or two Grimm paused and looked up. “Well?”  
Ichigo nodded but Toshiro answered. “Sounds really good.”  
Both Grimm and Ichigo turned to look at the other two. “Yeah?” Grimm asked.  
Renji, who’d been half asleep cracked open one eye. “It needs to be harder in the beginning.”  
“Harder?”  
“Yeah,” the red-head answered, sitting up. “Harder. Start off real punk and then you can tone it down but the first part needs to rage.”  
“Hmm,” Ichigo said. “Rage. Let’s try it.”  
The next several hours were passed with Grimm and Ichigo writing and Renji and Toshiro playing one of the Halo games next to them, chiming in suggestions whenever they had any.

It was just after noon when they felt the bus coming to a stop. Ichigo went to the front and pulled open the door that separated the band’s space from the driver’s. Looking out the windshield, Ichigo could see the arena they were playing that night and after talking to Kenny for a moment he went to the band and announced their arrival. None of the guys moved and Ichigo wouldn’t have expected them to. The trucks hauling everything they’d need to put on the show would have gotten to the arena hours before and the stage was probably already put together or at least almost finished. Once the stage was done and the safety checks had been made the band’s security would make a couple of passes through the building and the lot outside before letting the band disembark.  
Ichigo went back to his chair and glanced at Renji who’d fallen asleep on the floor. Luckily Grimm kicked him in the shin before he could really start regretting. “Ow!” he exclaimed through gritted teeth. “What the fuck Grimm?”  
The guitarist smirked and looked at Renji pointedly. “When are you gonna stop being such an asshole, Itch?”  
Ichigo’s mouth dropped open. “Me? What the hell are you talking about?”  
Grimm was on the verge of answering when Toshiro piped in. “Leave it alone, Grimm. It’s none of our business.”  
“Like hell it’s not,” Grimm began.  
“I said drop it, Grimm,” The small bassist said softly but with a warning tone.  
Grimm stared at Toshiro then flicked his eyes to Ichigo and finally to Renji’s still sleeping form. “Fine,” he growled out before turning his attention back to the song they’d almost completed. 

Toshiro breathed a silent sigh of relief that Grimm had dropped it. The issues between Ichigo and Renji were none of their business and it was getting increasingly difficult to keep Grimm out of it. Just the night before on the bus after Ichigo had told them who he’d seen and Toshiro and Grimm had gone to the Inner sanctum the guitarist had made the comment that they should just lock Itch and Ren in a room together and let them go at each other. Toshiro, being slightly more sound of mind (at least he liked to think so) had told Grimm he was an idiot and he needed to keep his nose out of other people’s business.  
Grimm clearly didn’t agree.  
To be honest, Toshiro hoped the two men would simply work it out on their own and he was going to stand his ground on that. The white haired man was far from stupid. He could plainly see the chemistry Ichigo and Renji had. When the band had first formed and Ichigo was looking for a drummer, Toshiro had recommended Renji and Ichigo had originally refused. They’d had some classes together and they hadn’t liked each other. Luckily for everyone, Toshiro had been persistent and Ichigo had finally agreed to hear him play. Even Ichigo’s stubbornness couldn’t ignore nor discount Renji’s skill.  
They’d been a band ever since and had hooked up with Kisuke and been signed to a major label before they’d graduated high school. Ichigo and Renji had quickly become best friends and Toshiro could have said they were like brothers but Toshiro had always been able to sense a ‘I really want to do dirty dirty things with you’ vibe between them.  
Grimm obviously wanted them to do something about it too but Toshiro appreciated Ichigo and Renji’s reluctance. Maybe a few years ago, before they’d really found success, something could have been done but now it only spelled disaster. If Renji and Ichigo hooked up they’d be hot and heavy for a while and while Toshiro would never wish it upon them, he could only expect it to not last.

Kenny knocked on the outer door maybe two hours later and announced that the area was clear and they could head inside. The band grabbed their stuff and single-filed outside. The day was slightly chilly and Ichigo huddled deeper into his jacket. He tried to just stare straight into Grimm’s back as he stood in front of him but his curiosity won in the end and just before one of the arena’s backstage doors opened he looked around, almost terrified that he would see the small girl with the long reddish brown hair.  
He tried to hide the shiver that snuck down his spine but the look Renji gave him made it obvious that he’d failed.  
Renji, still waking up from his unexpected nap, took Ichigo’s shiver to mean he was cold, not relieved that his stalker was nowhere to be seen and instinctively wrapped an arm around the singer’s slender but muscular shoulders. Ichigo pushed himself closer to Renji’s warmth and even went as far as resting his head on Renji’s shoulder. The drummer tightened his grip for a moment after they were inside but reluctantly let go when his drum tech came up and asked if he could show him something.  
Ichigo watched the red-head walk away and felt a familiar ache settle behind his ribs.

Hours later, after the opening act had warmed up the crowd and A Hollow Life had taken the stage to thunderous applause, Ichigo looked out over the crowd and felt his heart stop.  
She was in the crowd.  
Standing in the fourth or fifth row, surrounded by a crowd that surged with the music Orihime Inoue stood perfectly still, staring straight at him.  
It was like she had a force field around her, keeping the air around her perfectly calm while a storm raged just out of reach.  
Ichigo tried to focus on the music, tried to ignore her piercing grey gaze, but it was increasingly difficult. Lucky for him, an instrumental hit and he was able to walk away from the mic. The first place he went was to Renji, who sat on his stool, shirtless, arms and legs moving, beating out the rhythm. His eyes met Ichigo’s and he frowned.  
Renji knew something was wrong but Ichigo shook his head, silently telling him to not worry about it, before flashing him a genuine smile and moving back to his mic to sing the last verse.

Ichigo finished the song, thankful for Renji’s simple presence and glanced out to the audience. He had to triple check to be sure, but she was gone. The spot she’d stood was full of jumping screaming punk kids having a good time. With a great sigh of relief he looked to Grimm who simply nodded in understanding.  
“Thank you,” Ichigo said. “You guys are such an awesome crowd that we’re gonna play you a brand new one. We haven’t practiced it much so don’t hold it against us if we miss a few notes.”  
The crowd screamed as Renji and Grimm started. Ichigo shouted the words and played along, feeling the audience’s energy and acceptance.

_Break through the undertow, your hands I can't seem to find,_  
_Pollution burns my tongue, cough words I can't speak so I_  
_Stop my struggling, then I float to the surface,_  
_Fill my lungs with air, then let it out_  
_I give it all, this is the reason why I sing,_  
_So give it all, cuz it's these reasons that belong to me_

_Rock bottoms where we live, and still we dig these trenches,_  
_to bury ourselves in them, backs breaking under tension_  
_For far too long these voices, muffled by distances,_  
_It's time to come to our senses, up from the dirt_  
_We give it all, this is the reason why I sing,_  
_So give it all, and it's these reasons that belong to me_

Renji and Toshiro’s musical talent had impressed Ichigo from the beginning and his feelings hadn’t changed. They’d only practiced the song twice at the sound check and they were able to play through almost perfectly.

 

_Breathe, the air we give, the life we live, our pulses racing distances,_  
_So wet my tongue, break into song, through seas of competition_  
_So please believe your eyes, a sacrifice,_  
_Is not what we had in our minds,_  
_I'm coming home tonight, home tonight_  
_We give it all, this is the reason why I sing,_  
_So give it all, and it's these reasons that belong to me_  
_Today I offer all myself to this I'm living for my dying wish,_  
_I give it all, now there's a reason, there's a reason, to give it all_

The final notes were played and Ichigo gave another smile to the crowd, slightly tired eyes heavy under the bright lights, thankful for the opportunities he’d been given. He thought of the words he’d wrote that morning, on the bus, and the song he’d just performed and thought of the one person he was willing to give it all to. He thought of the stupid mistakes he’d made and the regrets he lived with. He thought of Renji and then couldn’t help but think of the young woman who was making his life hell and decided that maybe it was time to do something about it. Time to do something about the feelings he’d been carrying for the red haired drummer and time to do something about Ms. Inoue.


	4. Track 4 -

**Track 4**

Kisuke Urahara sighed and leaned back in his big leather desk chair with his hands steepled under his chin. It had been a long day already and now he had to deal with the issues plaguing one of his biggest bands before he could get home to his wife who was hopefully waiting for him in nothing but her fuzzy cat ears and tail.  
  
He’d gotten another call from Ichigo earlier that morning and the singer hadn’t been happy. He’d gone into detail about what had happened. Kisuke had tried to convince the young man that everything would be okay and that there was no way the girl could get close enough to him to do anything but Ichigo hadn’t been convinced. The older blonde could tell from Ichigo’s voice that he hadn’t wanted to agree to the extra security but he had in the end and Kisuke had quickly arranged for another three professional bodyguards to meet up with the band at their next show. He sincerely hoped that they would be enough to curb Ichigo’s worries.  
  
The girl, Orihime Inoue, had been a thorn in Ichigo’s side for years. It had all started innocently enough. Back in A Hollow Life’s early days, the band had an email address on their website for fans to write to and the boys had taken turns reading and responding to them. The girl had written to them a couple of times, simply professing herself as a fan. Kisuke remembered that it had been Ichigo’s turn at reading the mail and he’d written back to her, thanking her.  
  
That had been merely the beginning.  
  
One email turned into one a week and then one a day. Quickly, the notes had gone from “I love your music” to “I love you, Ichigo, and we’re destined to be together.” Getting mail like that wasn’t anything new but hers had contained a hint of something a little too creepy.  
After a couple of months, Kisuke turned all of the emails over to Ururu, his assistant, and had her pretend to be the band. Ichigo had started to get freaked out by the girl’s obviously misdirected affections.  
  
The emails turned into handwritten letters and gifts send to the record company. Kisuke had Ururu go through them as well to see what was included. Nothing terribly disturbing had ever been sent but Kisuke had kept the letters from Ichigo. Seeing and touching actual physical proof of Ms. Inoue’s misguided love wasn’t something Ichigo needed.  
Kisuke had been sure that the notes would be as far as she would go. He’d been wrong. Ichigo had started to get strange phone calls on his cell phone. Mostly just calls where the caller would stay silent for a moment and then hang up without a word. The calls had continued for weeks until Ichigo had his number changed. Things calmed down considerably after that. The letters continued, albeit sporadically and the calls stopped.

Ichigo Kurosaki had never been the type to succumb to paranoia and constantly look over his shoulder but Kisuke had started to notice a change in the young man recently. The smiles, however rare they may be, had become almost nonexistent. Unless he was onstage. They came readily when he was in front of the crowd, singing from his soul and playing the music he loved so much.  
Kisuke sighed again and sank farther down in his chair. He’d dealt with overzealous fans before and some of them had seemed far more disturbing than the tiny redhead, at least in the beginning. Now though, Ichigo was getting calls on his cell no matter how often he changed his number and she’d started showing up at the concerts. That sent chills down Kisuke’s spine.  
He’d done a little checking on the girl and knew that she lived on the East coast in a small apartment. She was supported by wealthy relatives and her immediate family were all deceased. Kisuke had tried to find out what had happened to the family and was only able to learn that the parents and an older brother had died in an accident. The remainder of the records had been sealed and that fact sent another chill down his back.  
  
The band was currently touring throughout the West coast so she’d managed to go cross-country to follow them. It worried the blonde considerably that she was keeping such close tabs on his boys.


	5. Track 5 -

**Track 5**

 

The band was feeling fairly exhausted by the time they'd almost finished up the current lag of their world tour. The crowds had been stellar and the shows all a success, but each one of the rock stars was anxious to finish up and get home. They still had some shows scattered throughout the Midwest but only a few and then they'd be heading back home to Chicago for the last show of the tour. Ichigo was already counting the stops until the time came to head home.  
  
He wouldn't readily admit it to anyone but he hadn't been sleeping more than a couple of hours a night and he could feel it catching up to him. His eyes were almost burning with fatigue and his body was nearly screaming for rest but he couldn’t seem to shut his mind down long enough at night to fall into a restful slumber.  
  
He had so many things running through his mind. The situation with his overzealous fan was obviously an issue but there was something else keeping him awake at night.  
  
His red haired drummer.  
  
Things had been different between him and Renji lately and Ichigo had been trying to put his finger on it. Seemed like Renji was interested in taking things farther but Ichigo wasn’t completely sure and the fear of destroying what they already had was keeping him pushing it himself.  
  
Ichigo hadn’t felt a bond like the one he and Renji shared for many years. Not since his high school buddy, Chad. They’d been best friends and had been able to share even their closest secrets with each other. Renji’s friendship was the same, but at the same time it was more. Ichigo knew he could tell him anything and Renji wouldn’t judge him. They might not always see things eye to eye but there was mutual respect there and Ichigo was forever grateful for it.  
  
Lately though, Ichigo had realized how dependent he was on the redhead. He sought him for comfort and reassurance and Renji was always there to give it.  
  
The night before, onstage when Ichigo had seen the girl in the audience he’d basically panicked. He’d nearly forgotten the chords to the song they were in the middle of and instinctively he’d gone to Renji for support The drummer hadn’t even needed to say anything to give it either. Just seeing his sweaty face behind the drums had been enough to put Ichigo’s mind at ease and he’d been able to get back to the mic to finish the show.  
  
Ichigo wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to thank Renji enough for the things he unconsciously did for him.  
  
He'd gone straight to his bunk after leaving the arena and had managed to drift off to a light sleep until the other guys had clamored on board and woke him up. Renji had called out to him, asking if he was okay and Ichigo had quietly muttered an affirmative before rolling over and sticking his ear buds into his ears, effectively shutting out all noise once he flicked on his iPod. He wasn’t ready to talk about anything and luckily Renji hadn’t pushed the issue. 

  


Sometime later the singer must have fallen back asleep because the bus was almost silent when he came to again.  
He quietly pulled back the curtain that had shut him out from the world and glanced around. The other guys were sound asleep in their bunks and almost all of the lights were off. Steady snores were rolling out from behind Grimm's curtain and slightly softer ones could be heard from beyond Renji's. Without glancing at a clock he knew it must be very early in the morning and as silently as he could, for fear of waking Toshiro who was a notoriously light sleeper, Ichigo slid from his bunk and stood up.  
He crept out into the sitting area, feeling the bus' very faint but steady rocking motion as it cruised down the road, and slid into a chair. There he sat in the dark, staring at nothing while Kenny drove them down the highway, heading for the final stop on their west coast lag.  
  
The time seemed to creep by as darkness flashed by the tinted windows and Ichigo couldn't help but sigh. If he were to be completely honest with himself, he'd admit that he felt bad. Not only physically but emotionally.  
  
He felt like he'd been cheating the fans as of late. Usually, after a show, he'd hang around backstage for a bit to visit with fans that had been fortunate enough to snag backstage passes or he'd stop for a minute to sign autographs and take pictures with those that stood outside. He had loved doing that. Had loved meeting the people that listened to his music and loved it as much as he did. Lately though, he'd kept his distance from them all and it hurt knowing that the band had probably lost a few fans over it. Of course, he knew deep down that their true fans wouldn't abandon them over something so trivial, but the knowledge didn't make him feel any better.  
  
He didn't want to admit it but he was more than worried about what was happening. He was slightly scared.  
  
It wasn't so much about the girl, Ms. Inoue, herself. It was the fact that with all of the security the band already had around them and the extra steps and precautions Ichigo had taken, she was still able to get near enough to him to not only get his cell phone numbers, which were not easy to come by, but now she seemed to know which hotel he was staying in. Granted, Ichigo could sort of understand the hotel. It wasn't difficult to follow the bus as it left the venue, but the fact that she always called when he was alone was more than disturbing. He knew better than to think she followed him twenty-four-seven but the thought had crossed his mind more than once. She seemed to have an uncanny ability to know exactly where he was at all times.  
  
Just thinking about it sent shivers down his spine.  


 

Hours later, still sitting in the same chair, Ichigo was more than a little shocked that he seemed to be feeling nervous butterflies fluttering in his stomach as the bus pulled into the city where they'd be playing that night. He watched signs flash by the window as Kenny steered the bus off the highway and onto the city streets.  
  
He'd spoken with Kisuke the day before and he'd reluctantly agreed to the extra security precautions. Three new guards would be meeting the band at the arena and Ichigo hoped they weren't overly strict with their demands. He needed security, not babysitters.  
  
He also hoped they were good at their job although Kisuke had never disappointed on that front. The man was an excellent manager and he'd always taken excellent care of them.  
  
As Kenny wound their home away from home through the early morning traffic in the Northern California town, Ichigo sat next to the window and gazed outside at the passing scenery. He watched trees and houses and cars blur past his vision. He wanted... No, he needed to talk to Renji, but the opportunity to do so in private hadn't shown itself yet. They'd finished up the last show and Ichigo had rushed to the bus, sealing himself inside, away from any possible threats. It seemed almost childish to him now but at the time he hadn’t been able to help it.  
  
He'd stayed backstage long enough to explain what had happened during the show after Renji, who was obviously worried, had demanded to know what was going on. Grimm and Toshiro had sat down quietly and listened as Ichigo had explained what had happened. Grimm had been pissed off that he hadn't noticed her standing there but Ichigo had told him not to blame himself. The guitarist was always in his own world when he was playing.  
  
Toshiro had sat still as a statue and listened. A slight scowl had formed on his face before he said something about needing to call Karin. Ichigo had waved him off, thankful that his sister had found someone to love her like Toshiro did.  
  
Not long after that Ichigo had escaped the arena and closed himself off on the bus.   


The sun slowly rose around him and Ichigo was about to grab his notebook to write down some lyrics he'd been playing with when a voice shook him from his thoughts. "Didn't you sleep?"  
  
Ichigo didn't move, he simply shifted his eyes to see Renji standing a few feet away. He didn't want to stare but Ichigo couldn't help but see the long red hair, usually pulled up in a ponytail, now spilling down around a set of amazingly well-built shoulders. Brown eyes trailed a path down the firm tattooed chest to one of the best six packs he'd ever seen. Black shorts hung low on slim hips, sitting just below Renji’s hip bones, and Ichigo felt his heart stop beating for a moment. It took a great deal of self control to not lick his lips and before he embarrassed himself completely, Ichigo snapped his eyes back to Renji's face. "I tried. Just couldn't," Ichigo answered softly.  
  
Renji frowned. "You wanna talk about it?"  
  
Ichigo wanted to say no because all he’d already spent the night thinking about it but he couldn't bring himself to say it. Renji's very presence brought him comfort and if he said no he’d probably go back to sleep and that was the last thing Ichigo wanted. He couldn’t help but think that this was the moment he’d been waiting for. A chance to talk to Renji alone. If only he could gather the courage to speak his mind. "I..."  
  
Renji could see the words weren't easily forthcoming. "It's ok if you don't want to. I was just offering."  
"No! It's not that."  
  
Something was obviously bothering Ichigo and that worried Renji. He moved quietly towards him and sat in the chair across from him. "What is it, Ichigo?"  
  
Brown eyes met red-brown and the words almost got stuck in his throat. "Renji , d-do you ever... ever think... um, I mean... do you ever..."  
  
Renji sat forward and braced his elbows on his knees, not looking from Ichigo’s face. "Do I ever think what?"  
  
Ichigo was clearly flustered and it was beyond frustrating. He glanced up at Renji's face and was relieved to see there was no amusement in his eyes. He was focused and intent and somehow that made it easier. "Do you ever think about us?"  
  
Tattooed brows met as Renji frowned. "Us? What do you mean exactly?"  
  
Ichigo sighed. Of course Renji would make it difficult. "Us. You and me. As in maybe giving it a try?"  
  
The loud bark of laughter that shot from Renji's mouth was the last thing Ichigo expected or wanted. Not to mention it could have woken Toshiro and Grimm and Ichigo definitely didn't want them involved in the conversation. "You could have just said no," he said, standing up, obviously angry.  
  
Renji's eyes widened. "Ichigo. N-no! Wait!" He stuttered out the shocked reply and grabbed Ichigo's thin wrist as he tried to slide by. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh."  
  
"But you did."  
  
One corner of Renji's mouth quirked up before he stood up and looked down at Ichigo. "It was more of a shocked reaction to be honest. That was the very last thing I expected you to ask me."  
  
"Well, I've been giving it some thought."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
Ichigo shrugged. "I just... I've been sitting up thinking about everything that's been going on and..."  
"And?"  
Ichigo dropped his gaze to the carpeted floor and shifted his weight from his left leg to his right. "I'm scared, Renji."  
  
“Scared? Nothing’s going to happen to you, Ichigo. You’re safe, you know.”  
  
“I know that. I’m not scared about that.”  
  
Renji frowned. “Then what is it, Ichigo?”  
  
Ichigo shrugged and looked away. “This thing with that girl. It’s just freaking me out a little and it’s made me do things that I wouldn’t normally do. I don’t like feeling this way, Ren. I don’t like knowing that someone can make me change the way I live my life.”  
  
Renji nodded. “Yeah. I can understand that.”  
  
“I’ve been thinking that I’ve been running like a coward for the past couple of weeks at least and I hate it”  
  
“So what are you saying?”  
  
Ichigo looked up at his closest friend and sighed. “I’m tired of running, Ren. I want something for myself for once."  
  
Renji gazed down at the other man and couldn't help but feel that he was still dreaming. Granted, this dream, where Ichigo could possibly be saying that he wanted to see how far he and Renji could take things, was far tamer than the one he'd just woken up from where he'd had Ichigo panting underneath him. Either way, Renji was sure he was dreaming. Brown eyes smoldered and slowly Renji lifted his right hand, smoothing his thumb over Ichigo's cheekbone. "Ichigo, I've wanted this for years. I've wanted you. Dreamed of you. Thought of you. If you’re saying what I think you’re saying and you want to see how far we can go then ok. Let’s do it. I’m ready and willing to give it my best shot. Is that what you’re saying?”  
  
Ichigo smiled up at him. "Yeah. That’s what I’m saying."  
  
"You’re sure?" Renji asked  
  
The smile faltered. "What about Grimm and Toshiro?"  
  
"What about them? Grimm's been pressuring us about it for a while now. He'll be ecstatic and Toshiro doesn't care one way or another. He just wants to see you happy."  
  
Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry. Stupid question."  
  
"Ichigo?"  
  
A shiver ran down the orange haired man's spine as Renji's warm breath whispered over him. "Hmm?"  
  
"Do you think I can finally kiss you now?"  
  
Ichigo's eyes widened just a fraction before he barely nodded.  
  
Renji was thrilled to see Ichigo's beautiful brown eyes drift shut as he closed the distance between them. Renji had been dreaming of this moment since he'd first realized his feelings for the other man. Now, standing on their tour bus, in the very early morning hours, his dream was coming true.  
  
Slowly but steadily, Renji closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Ichigo’s. The air around him electrified as Ichigo pressed himself closer and deepened the kiss, turning his head just slightly.  
  
Renji took the initiative and ran his tongue along Ichigo's bottom lip. Within the next breath, Ichigo moaned against Renji's mouth and wrapped his arms around his neck, grasping the other man against him. The next breath brought them even closer as the kiss went nuclear and Renji's arms clamped around Ichigo. Tongues fought for dominance and Renji's won. Ichigo moaned again as he felt the barbell in Renji's tongue rub against the roof of his mouth. The redhead was everywhere and yet nowhere. His arms were wrapped around Ichigo but he wasn't groping him gratuitously, just holding him completely. At that moment Ichigo was more than content to just taste and breathe the very essence of Renji.

Ichigo found that he wanted more but knew it wasn't possible while they were on the bus. Grimm and Toshiro could wake up at any time and although they wouldn't care too much, Ichigo wasn't keen on sharing this part of his life with them at the moment. Right then, and for the foreseeable future, it was all reserved for Renji. Enjoying the fact that he could, Ichigo ran both hands up the back of Renji's neck and buried them within the mass of blood red hair. Renji whispered something against Ichigo’s mouth but he was too busy tasting the man to comprehend what it was.  
  
"Ichigo," Renji whispered again, breaking away just slightly.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"We should stop."  
  
Ichigo was sure he heard wrong. "No. Don't stop. More," he murmured  
  
Renji smiled against the other’s mouth. "Ichigo, Grimm and Toshiro are waking up soon. I just heard Toshiro's phone go off."  
  
Ichigo took one last deep kiss before pulling away to look up at the one who he supposed could now be considered his boyfriend. "But I don't wanna stop."  
  
"I know. Me either."  
  
"Can we finish it later?"  
  
Renji flashed his class Renji-smirk and leant in for another kiss. "You just try to keep me away."  
  
Reluctantly, the two broke away and Ichigo sat back down, unconsciously rubbing the pads of his fingers over his lips. “Ok.”  
  
Renji smiled down at him. “That was just the beginning, Ich.”  
  
Ichigo smiled back at him.  
  
Renji, who couldn’t believe his good fortune, crouched down in front of Ichigo and rested one of his hands on Ichigo’s knee. “I do think we should take things slowly though, Ich. We don’t need to rush into anything too quickly. We’ve got plenty of time.”  
  
Ichigo frowned and opened his mouth to say something before Renji cut him off.  
  
“I’m just saying that we’ve been friends for years, but this side of our relationship is new. I don’t want to rush into anything and have you regretting it later. I don’t want any regrets with you either, Ichigo. Not to mention the fact that you’ve already got a lot on your plate right now. Ok?  
  
Ichigo understood fully and he appreciated Renji’s thinking. He didn’t like it but he appreciated it. “Yeah. Ok.”  
  
Renji nodded, then stood up and walked away to go grab his t-shirt. No doubt that Toshiro would be up soon and then Grimm would be up, begging for breakfast as usual.

  


 

Little did they know that a certain white haired bassist had heard almost everything and had seen enough to grin to himself before grabbing his phone so he could send a quick text. A response came back almost immediately and the message made him smile. "'It's about time' indeed," he said softly.


	6. Track 6 -

**Track 6**

Controlled chaos reigned backstage before a show. Stage hands, roadies and instrument technicians rushed around, all going different directions, hurrying to have everything ready before sound check. Everyone seemed to know what they were doing. At least that’s what the three men thought as they stood backstage trying to get a handle on everything they were witnessing.

They weren’t new to the music scene but A Hollow Life was hugely popular and therefore they had a huge stage show. Kisuke Urahara had warned them before sending them and they had thought they had prepared themselves but now, after seeing all that went into putting on a concert like they did, they weren’t so sure.

“Saw these guys last summer,” the raven haired man with the tattooed face said. “Did I mention that?”

The bald man standing next to him shook his head. “Nah. Was it good?”

“Yeah, the lead singer can sing his ass off and the band jams hard.”

The much larger of the three cleared his throat and looked around. “Who the hell are we supposed to be meeting here? Who’s the welcoming committee?”

The bald man was about to make some smartass comment when one of the sexiest people he’d ever seen came around a corner ahead of them carrying a guitar case in each hand. He didn’t realize he’d stopped and stared until his co-worker punched him in the arm. “Ow!” he growled. “What the fuck, Hisagi?”

The tattooed one rolled his eyes. “Close your mouth and stop drooling, Ikkaku. We’re here to work. Not stare.”

Ikkaku growled again and thought about punching the other man square in the nose just for being a pompous ass but decided against it. Hisagi, Ganju and he had been hired as extra security by Urahara and they needed to stay focused. “Sorry,” he muttered, forcing himself to not look back at the gloriously beautiful creature with the chin length black hair and petite body.

“It’s fine, just keep reminding yourself why we’re here,” Hisagi said.

“Excuse me, but can I help you with something? Do you have clearance to be back here?”

Ikkaku Madarame, private security contractor, turned around and stopped breathing as he came face to face with his own personal angel. He looked down at the smaller man and grinned. “I’m Ikkaku Madarame. These two are my business associates, Shuhei Hisagi and Ganju Shiba. We were hired by Kisuke Urahara as extra security for the band. Do you know where we can find them?”

The black haired man stood staring at them for a moment. “Do you have any I.D.? I really can’t just take your word for it.”

Ikkaku grinned and reached for his wallet. Hisagi and Ganju did the same.

“I’m Yumi. Yumichika Ayasegawa. If you would wait here for a second, I’ll go find someone who can help you.”

“What do you do around here, Yumi?” Ikkaku asked.

“I’m Ichigo’s guitar tech. Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

Before Ikkaku could ask anything else Yumi turned and disappeared around the same corner he’d originally come around.

“Don’t even think about it, Madarame.” Hisagi said behind him.

“What? What did I do now?”

Hisagi stared at him with one eyebrow quirked up in annoyance. “We’re here to work,” he finally said. “I don’t want to have to keep reminding you of that. You need to stay focused.”

Ikkaku scowled. “I am focused, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun on the side.”

“Actually, that’s exactly what it means. We’re here because Kisuke thinks we need to be. Keep your eyes on the band and your hands to yourself. There’ll be plenty of time to play when the job is finished.

Yumichika came back before Ikkaku could respond and a freckle faced redhead followed close behind him. Hisagi grinned at him. “Hey Jinta. Didn’t know you’d be here to greet us.”

“Yeah, well, the boss can’t be here all the time, can he? He sends me to take care of everything. Come on, I’ll take you to meet the band.”

The three bodyguards said their thanks to Yumichika, who handed them back all of their I.D... Ikkaku couldn’t help but give the smaller man a heated look that no one could have misinterpreted.

Jinta led them through a maze of backstage hallways until he came to a room with a closed door. He knocked twice and waited until the door was yanked open by a scowling man with blue hair. The three recognized him immediately as Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the lead guitarist.

Turquoise eyes spanned over the three with a questioning gaze before returning to Jinta. A blue eyebrow rose a fraction.

“Hey Grimm, these are the men Kisuke hired for Ichigo.”

The scowl returned. “Oh yeah? Well you’d all better be fucking good at your jobs. Especially you, Tub Tub.”  
Hisagi’s eyes widened and Ganju, who knew the comment had been directed at him, finally spoke up after staying mostly silent since they’d gotten there. “What did you just call me?”

Grimm stared him down. “You fucking heard me. What are you supposed to do if you have to get to him quick, eh? Hope your friends here are around to help out?”

“Fuck you, Smurfette. I can get around just fine.”

Grimm was about to reach out and punch the tubby bastard but the new guy with the tattooed face stepped in and extended his hand. “Shuhei Hisagi. Nice to meet you.”

Grimm stared at him before glancing down at the pale outstretched hand. “Grimm Jeagerjaques,” he growled, giving the hand a quick smack before turning to Ikkaku. “Who are you?”

“Ikkaku Madarame. The fat one is Ganju Shiba.”

The right side of Grimm’s mouth flicked upward in amusement before he stepped back. “Come on in and meet the other guys. We’re just relaxing before the show.”

 

The room was good sized with three overstuffed leather couches sitting in a ‘u’. A rolling cart had been wheeled in with trays of sandwiches, fruit and bottles of water. Hisagi glanced around, taking in as many details as he could. Grimm had taken a seat on one of the sofas and was busy peeling an orange. Toshiro Hitsugaya was near the rear of the room, leaning against the wall with one shoulder, seemingly in his own world as he stared down at the phone in his hand. Renji Abarai was sprawled across another of the sofas with one arm bent above his head on the arm rest. Ear buds were stuck in his ears and a wicked beat was screaming out around them. Whatever thrashing metal he was listening to, he was tapping out the beat with his other hand that rested on his stomach. If Renji’s eyes had been open, Hisagi observed, he’d no doubt notice Ichigo staring at him with a small grin on his face.

Ichigo saw the three strangers come in and knew exactly who they were and why they were there. Refusing to be rude, he stood up and moved towards them. “You’re the extra security Kisuke sent?”

Hisagi nodded. “That’s right. Hisagi. Shuhei Hisagi. No need to introduce yourself. I know who you are. I saw you guys play at the Warped Tour last summer.”

Ichigo nodded and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Hisagi, and thanks for coming.”

Ikkaku shook Ichigo’s hand next and didn’t miss the look the redhead on the couch shot him as he did it. A heavy mix of curiosity and unease mixed with slight jealousy. Ikkaku couldn’t help but grin at the realization that either the two of them were more than friends already or they were on their way to a more than professional relationship. “We’re here to watch your back so we’ll need to stay close.”

Ichigo nodded. “Yeah, I figured.”

“We’ll stay out of your way, Ichigo, as much as we can but you’ll have to stay in contact. At least one of us will need to know where you are at all times.”

 

Ichigo stood there, facing the three bodyguards and Jinta and couldn’t help but feel torn. He was relieved to have them there but he couldn’t stop regretting the decision to have Kisuke send them. Now that he and Renji had started actually seeing each other they’d tried to steal as much time as they could.

Since they’d gotten off the bus they’d tried to get a few moments alone. That hadn’t worked out so far but they’d managed to sneak a kiss here and there and had exchanged some very heated glances.

Now, with three bodyguards around, Ichigo had a very distinct impression that their limited time alone was going to practically disappear.

He could feel Renji’s eyes on him and as he turned around, their gazes locked.

A small but genuine smile spread across Renji’s face and Ichigo returned it wholeheartedly. “Come on in if you want,” Ichigo said, moving back to his spot on the couch. “Not sure what you need to do.”

Hisagi stepped forward and sat on the opposite end of Grimm’s couch. “Can you tell us what’s been going on? Kisuke said something about an overzealous fan.”

Grimm practically snorted. “Overzealous. Yeah, right. She’s fucking crazy.”

Ichigo rolled his eyes and proceeded to tell the story. Ikkaku, Hisagi and Ganju all listened intently, asking questions occasionally and when Ichigo was done they all had a new understanding of what had been happening.

Ikkaku spoke first. “We’ll be with you every step of the way. One of us will always be near your person and the other two will try to stay one step ahead. If you’re here, backstage, one of us will be right outside. We’ll be doing security sweeps as well. Before you go anywhere we’ll need to check it out. Hotel rooms, dressing rooms, tour bus. Everything.”

Ichigo swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.

“I know it sounds like we’re gonna be all up in your business,” Hisagi said, “But trust me, we’re able to do our jobs and keep our distance. Most of the time you won’t even know we’re here.”

“I know. I just don’t want you guys to be under the impression that she’s tried to get at me or anything. It’s just been letters and phone calls.”

“So far.”

Ichigo snapped over to where Renji still laid on the couch. “What?”

The redhead pulled out his right ear bud and sat up with a primal grace. “It’s only been calls and letters so far,” He answered, looking straight at Ichigo. “She hasn’t done anything psychotic yet but who’s to say that she won’t just snap one of these days?”

“Renji…”

“No, you’re gonna listen, Ich. There’s a reason why these guys are here, right? A reason why you agreed to have Kisuke send them, right? She got too close and it freaked you out.”

Ichigo frowned. “Stop it, Renji.”

Renji sat there for a minute, staring into Ichigo’s beautiful chocolate brown eyes. “Come on,” he finally said, standing up and offering his hand to Ichigo. “Let’s take a walk. I need to talk to you.”

Hisagi tried to argue but the look Renji shot him along with a quick explanation that they’d be right outside in the hall shut him up pretty quick.

Ichigo took Renji’s hand and followed him out of the relative comfort of their green room and into the erratic craziness of the hallway. “Renji…”

“Shh. Just listen, Ichigo, please.”

Closing his mouth against the argument preparing to spill from his lips, Ichigo stood, still holding the drummer’s calloused hand.

“I know what you’re thinking, Ichigo.”

“You do?” he whispered.

Renji smirked. “Yeah, I do. I know you, Ich and you’re thinking those guys are here now and they’re gonna be following you around everywhere you go and we’re never going to have any time together.”

Ichigo stared at Renji, then smiled. “You know me well.”

The redhead smiled back and cupped the side of Ichigo’s face, rubbing a gentle path across his cheekbone. “We’ll still have time together, Ichigo. Nobody can keep me away from you,” Renji whispered. “But you need to keep in mind that they’re just here to keep you safe.”

“I know.”

“So you’re not going to give them any trouble?”

Ichigo’s smile widened. “If you promise you won’t let them keep us apart.”

“I promise.”

Chocolate brown gazed into red-brown eyes and slowly, they drifted together. Ichigo felt like every time was the first time with Renji and when their lips met, he felt an undeniable urge to burrow as close as he could. Arms wrapped around each other and held on tight as the kiss went from gentle and barely touching to tongues swarming and tasting. Neither of the men heard anything other than their own breathing and neither of the men realized they had attracted an audience.


	7. Track 7 -

**Track 7**

 

Ichigo knew he should have been embarrassed but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. When he’d finally pulled away from Renji he’d become aware that they had an audience. Yumi, his guitar tech, was leaning against the wall about ten feet away with a knowing smirk on his face. Several of the band’s road crew were grouped together at the end of the hall watching with their eyebrows practically disappearing under their hair.

Ichigo saw them staring but when he looked up at Renji’s face and saw the smile spreading across his perfect lips he just couldn’t bring himself to give a damn about who saw them or about who knew about them.

“You okay?” Renji asked.

Ichigo smiled back at him. “Yeah. I’m great.”

Renji nodded. “Good.”

The two men stood together and stared into each other’s eyes until the sound of someone quietly clearing their throat broke the spell. Ichigo glanced over to Yumi and frowned.

“Sorry guys,” Yumi said. “I hate to interrupt all of that hotness but everything’s ready for sound check.”

Renji nodded and took a small step back. “Thanks, Yumichika. We’ll be there in a minute.”

The two men watched the smaller man walk away in silence.

“Guess that means we should grab the other guys and get started,” Ichigo finally said.

“Yeah, but don’t worry your pretty face about it. We’re gonna finish this later and that’s a promise.”

Ichigo smiled as Renji tried to discreetly adjust himself. The redhead obviously had a problem. “Are you going to be okay?” The singer asked, adding a low pitch to his voice that went straight to Renji’s groin.

Renji groaned and took another step back. “You are evil, Ichigo.”

“And you love it,” he answered.

Renji grinned and playfully smacked Ichigo on the ass before reaching for the doorknob and pushing the door open. “Time for sound check,” he called out, not waiting for an answer before hurrying inside to grab his sticks.

The room emptied out and Hisagi walked with Ichigo, keeping his eyes open for anything out of the ordinary.  
Ikkaku followed behind Grimm and kept himself focused even when Ichigo stepped onto the stage and met Yumichika at his mic stand. The smaller man had Ichigo’s guitar in his hands and they took the instrument and slung the strap over his head. Yumichika cast a glance at the hairless bodyguard as he moved off stage. Ikkaku was proud of himself that he managed to only nod at the other man before turning his attention back to the singer.

Ikkaku, Hisagi and Ganju, who was still scowling at Grimm for calling him fat, spread out around the area and watched while each member of the band played something, testing the sound equipment. Toshiro dealt out a heavy bass riff that had Ikkaku raising his brows. The little guy could play. Grimm gripped his beloved Schecter custom and wailed on it, a solo screaming from the speakers around the arena. Ikkaku watched in slight awe. He’d never been able to understand how noise like that could come from just plucking on some strings. Renji, almost hidden behind his huge drum kit kicked out a thundering beat that had vibrations shaking through the stage. Ikkaku had to shake himself when the redhead finished, trying to stop the tingles that had worked their way up his legs. Even with the Plexiglas half wall that surrounded the drummer the noise that came out was nearly deafening. Ikkaku didn’t miss the smile that Ichigo exchanged with the drummer before he stepped into his place and played a solo of his own. Ikkaku couldn’t deny the fact that each member of the band was a very gifted musician.

The sound techs tested Ichigo and Grimm’s microphones. Each man stepped up and while Grimm just loudly cursed them out, Ichigo smiled and quickly sang a verse so they could be sure everything was working.

_It could be minutes away_   
_It could be hours or days_   
_Before the bottom falls out_   
_Before the ground gives way_   
_Into this debt we are born_   
_A debt we try to repay_   
_And yet we blacken the sky_   
_Smoke rising out of the flames_

Once the sound engineers were satisfied that everything was working the band ran through a couple of songs. Hisagi, being a fan, knew the songs and couldn’t help but enjoy listening. Ikkaku had heard some of their songs on the radio but he didn’t really consider himself a fan. Casting a glance over across the stage he caught sight of Ganju who looked completely clueless and a little uncomfortable at the sheer volume the band played at. A Hollow Life wasn’t a heavy metal thrash band but they were definitely punk rock and even at sound check levels it hurt your ears. They were all going to need earplugs.

Ikkaku found himself enjoying the time he had to spend watching over Ichigo. It not only allowed him to watch Yumichika, the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, but he got to witness the solid camaraderie between the band. It was obvious they were all best friends and they looked out for each other.

 

Showtime was less than two hours away by the time the band was done and Ichigo was about to follow Renji offstage when Hisagi suddenly appeared next to him. “Where are you going in such a rush, Ichigo? You can’t just wander off by yourself.”  
“I wasn’t. I was going with Renji.”

Hisagi nodded and looked apologetic even though he barely sounded like it. “I know and it’s good that you weren’t going to be alone but Renji isn’t a bodyguard, Ichigo.”

“I know that,” Ichigo snapped.

“Listen, I’m not trying to rag on you. I just want you to remember to be cautious.”

Ichigo listened and after a moment, nodded in agreement. “Yeah, sorry.”

Hisagi grinned. “It’s alright. Come on, I’ll walk with you. Do you know where he went?”

“Back to the dressing room probably. He always takes a nap before a show.”

“What about Grimm and Toshiro?”

“They go to the bus and play Xbox.”

“So you guys have a routine?”

Ichigo nodded. “Yeah. They go do their thing. Renji sleeps and I sit and relax.”

Hisagi thought about it for a moment. “I see.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong. I was just thinking that it’s obvious how close you guys are. During the sound check and before. Well, it’s obvious that you guys really care about each other.”

Ichigo walked along, anxious to see Renji but still listening to what Hisagi had to say. “Well yeah. They’re like my brothers.”

“Except Renji,” the bodyguard said slyly.

Ichigo tried to not blush but knew he failed. “Yes, Renji’s definitely not like a brother. Not anymore.”

Hisagi smiled at the dopey love struck expression that flashed across the singer’s face. “How long have you two been together?”

Ichigo chuckled softly. “A couple of days.”

“Really? Seems like longer. Just from how you two are together. Like you’re settled and content.”

Ichigo nodded. “I am content with him.

“That’s good, Ichigo. I’m happy for you guys. I’ve been a big fan of A Hollow Life for a couple of years now and I’m glad to see you guys so happy and successful.”

Ichigo thought about what the bodyguard said and almost didn’t realize it when they ended up in a familiar hallway. “Thanks.”

Hisagi popped into the room quickly and checked to be sure no one was hiding away before stepping back into the hallway. “All clear in there. I’ll just wait out here til you need me again.”

Ichigo nodded and thanked him again before closing the door. He stood facing the door for a moment before turning around and smiling at the picture the man on the couch made. Long red hair was loose and free, spread over a t-shirt covered chest. Long, silky strands slid down strong shoulders and puddled on the floor. One tan muscular arm was bent over his head, inner elbow pressed against closed eyes while the other rested atop a dark denim covered hip. Ichigo resisted moving closer just so he could run a fingertip across the sliver of skin visible between the bottom hem of Renji’s t-shirt and the low riding waist of his jeans. At that moment Ichigo realized that he could stand there and watch Renji sleep forever.

“Are you just gonna stand there, Ich, or are you gonna come over here and join me?”

Ichigo watched a sly smirk spread across Renji’s delicious lips before the redhead lifted his arm and blinked against the light.  
“I thought you were sleeping.”

“Not anymore. Now come here.”

Renji stretched out his arm and beckoned for Ichigo to come closer, which he did. “Lay down with me.”

Ichigo smiled and slowly crawled onto the couch, giving Renji time and room to move around. Once the redhead maneuvered around enough to give Ichigo space to lay next to him the singer curled against his warmth and pressed his cheek against a very strong chest. Both men were amazed at how well they fit together. As cliché as it may be they were two adjoining pieces of a puzzle.

Ichigo was beyond content as he lay in Renji’s arms. He was completely at peace as they traded warmth on the couch.  
Renji reached for Ichigo’s hand and intertwined their fingers, resting their hands against his heart. Ichigo sighed against him and burrowed slightly farther against him, pressing his cheek against Renji’s shoulder.

Suddenly Renji was chuckling to himself and Ichigo lifted his head to frown at him. “What’s so funny?”

Renji smiled at him and shook his head, pressing a soft kiss to Ichigo’s forehead. “Nothing I was just thinking that I’ve never wanted a tour to end like I want this one over with.”

Ichigo grinned knowingly. “I Know exactly what you mean.”

‘I just want to take you away somewhere. Or just take you to my house and lock everyone but us out.”

“Only a few weeks left you know. We have tonight’s show and then I think three more before we’re back home.”

“I know, but those few weeks are going to suck.”

Ichigo’s brows lifted just barely as a fantastic idea struck him. “Suck?”

Renji stared at him unsure if he’d heard correctly. “Huh?”

Slowly, Ichigo rose up and pressed a kiss to Renji’s lips. “Oh, you heard me.”

“I did?”

“Uh huh.”

“Did you mean?… I mean…”

Smiling, Ichigo pressed another kiss to Renji’s lips before moving his lips to the taught neck beneath him. Short, panting breaths slid over Ichigo’s face and hair and Renji tried to get his mind around what Ichigo was doing to him. Sinfully soft lips kissed and nipped and sucked at his neck while a long fingered hand ghosted across his chest and down his stomach where silken fingertips tickled the skin there. Renji moaned out loud and tried to memorize every sensation. Ichigo’s skilled fingers rubbed over hard muscle and pushed Renji’s shirt higher. Slightly cold air blew over his ever heating flesh and caused gooseflesh to erupt down his arms.

Hot and wet were two sensations he had on his neck where Ichigo was marking him as his. Renji moaned again and was on the verge of grabbing a handful of beautiful orange hair to pull Ichigo into a scalding kiss when deft fingers slid to the button on Renji’s jeans and popped it open. Renji’s mind went absolutely blank. “I-Ichigo…”

“Shh,” came the singer’s reply. “We don’t want anyone trying to get in.”

In a panic, Renji’s eyes shot to the door.

“Don’t worry. I locked it.”

Renji shot a grateful look at the man doing sinful things to him before pulling him in for a tongue-heavy kiss. Renji explored the cavern of Ichigo’s mouth, tasting every part of it and loving every minute of it. “Ichigo,” he whispered, nipping at the orange haired man’s bottom lip.

“Hmm?”

Renji knew what he wanted to say and was on the verge of just blurting it out when Ichigo pulled away from the kiss, slid down Renji’s chest and pressed a kiss to the smooth skin right above the waistband of Renji’s boxers.

Before Renji could even comprehend it, Ichigo had the redhead’s jeans unzipped and pulled down to mid-thigh. Black boxers quickly followed and Renji gasped Ichigo’s name when a familiar hot wet heat swallowed him whole.

Ichigo took his time and explored Renji with his mouth. He tasted and kissed and sucked and even nibbled a little while listening and watching for signs from Renji. He wanted to learn just what the other man liked. He needed to know exactly what he wanted.

Soon the redhead was writhing beneath him with one fist clenched gently in orange hair while the other was fisted against his mouth, trying and mostly failing to stay quiet. Renji tightened his grip on Ichigo’s hair, not to control what the singer was doing but more to attempt to stay grounded within reality. He could feel the familiar tightness starting within him and he was about to warn Ichigo that he was so close when the orange haired man did something with his tongue and Renji was seeing spots. Flashes of white and starbursts of black blinded him from everything else. The feeling started in his toes, making them curl and spiraled up his legs. A flash fire of sensation surrounded him and swallowed him whole.

Ichigo relaxed his throat and let Renji mindlessly fuck his face. The redhead was no longer there, Ichigo knew. There was only a sweating, panting man, grasping Ichigo’s hair and moaning his name. The knowledge that he could do this to Renji with only his mouth made him want to shout his happiness to the world.  
One more thrust of his hips was all Renji needed and he was emptying himself into Ichigo’s welcoming mouth. His heart slammed against his chest, drumming out a rhythm he couldn’t have played on his best day, as Ichigo swallowed around him, practically licking him clean then crawled back up Renji’s heaving body. “I-Ich. Oh my god, Ich.”

Ichigo smiled down at him and kissed him. They tasted each other until they were forced to breathe again and Ichigo pulled away to tuck Renji back into his pants. “Better get up and get ready, Ren. It’s almost show time.”

Renji tried to respond but Ichigo was gone, off the couch and into the bathroom, no doubt to start his own preshow rituals including changing his clothes. Still panting heavily, Renji glanced down at himself and decided the white pirate radio t-shirt and dark baggy jeans were just gonna have to do. He didn’t have it in him to change his clothes.

Groaning slightly, he sat up, pulled his hair up into its usual ponytail and left the room to go find his band mates, thinking the entire time that there was only a few weeks left before he could spend hours and hours in bed with Ichigo without worrying about managers and sound checks and band mates and concerts. The thought brought a huge smile to the drummer’s face.


	8. Track 8

**Track 8**

 

Riding in a bus with four other guys, including Hisagi and their driver, Kenny, from Northern California to Nebraska was hell, at least in Ichigo’s opinion. They could have flown but they had the time between shows and Hisagi had made it clear that he didn’t want Ichigo staying in once place too long. Ichigo had wondered what he was supposed to do once the tour was over because he had every intention of locking Renji in his bedroom and spending a week straight in there. What would Hisagi think then?  
The thought brought a smile to Ichigo’s face as he sat on the bus with Renji’s iPod plugged into his ears. The drummer had been challenged to a Call of Duty death match and had been playing against Toshiro for the better part of two hours. Ichigo had absconded with the music player soon after Renji had gone to play and had busied himself with scrolling through the music. Renji’s taste wasn’t as eclectic as Ichigo’s and the heavy metal and punk rock that blasted from the little speakers all started to sound the same after a while.

Ichigo flipped through the playlists and was surprised to find one titled ‘Ichigo’. With eyebrows raised, the singer clicked on it. Mixed in with some of their own music were some of Ichigo’s favorite songs. Smiling to himself, Ichigo listened and couldn’t help but care just that much more for the usually gruff but always kind redhead.

“Whatcha doin’ Itch?”

Grimm dropped into the seat next to Ichigo and snagged the ear bud closest to him with his index finger. It popped from Ichigo’s left ear and Grimm was surprised to hear Ichigo’s own voice coming from it.

_There, high on the watchtower_  
_Keeping the peace_  
_Whatever that means_  
_Cause you see the world through_  
_Crosshairs and TVs, don't you?_

_Ten foot walls built around us_  
_White picket death_  
_So quiet, so safe_  
_But if we fall there will be nothing and no one to catch us_  
_So sit back and watch as we_

_Spin out of control_  
_Spin out of control_  
_Try to recover, but collide with each other_  
_We spin out of control_

  
“Listening to yourself?”

Ichigo smirked. “Yeah. It’s Renji’s iPod.”

“Oh?”

“He has a playlist called ‘Ichigo’”

“And that’s on there?”

Ichigo nodded. “Yeah. Our stuff and some of my favorite songs.”

Grimm smiled. “He likes to hear you sing.”

_Something I cannot change_  
_I was born in a place_  
_That lives by the sword_  
_And thus to its blade we're condemned_  
_Don't you understand why we scream "no more"?_  
_My dreams are of children_  
_Orphaned by blood_  
_Spilled at these hands_

Ichigo turned his head and looked at the blue haired guitarist.

“What? How do you know that?”

“He told me a while ago. Before you guys got smart and hooked up.”

“Really,” Ichigo answered with the word coming out as a statement rather than a question.

“He loves your voice.”

_Some things you don't forgive, some things you don't forget_  
_Sometimes the fate you suffer is so much worse than death_  
_We're way off course now and we're drifting out to sea_  
_So cut the anchor on your heart to be set free_  
_Spin out of control_

Ichigo smiled and yanked the ear bud out of Grimm’s hand.

“That’s good to know.”

“Yeah, I bet it is.”

“What’s that mean?”

Grimm arched an eyebrow and smirked. “It means that you two are good for each other and that’s me being completely honest.”

Ichigo grinned. “Thanks man.”

“Tosh feels the same way, even though he’d probably never admit it, Itch. We’re both okay with it.”

“I never said you weren’t.”

“I know that. I just wanted you to hear it straight from me.”

Ichigo was a little surprised. Not shocked, but definitely surprised. “Is this a heart to heart, Grimm?”

Grimm smirked, stood up and before walking away said, good naturedly, “Fuck you, Itch,”

Ichigo watched his friend walk away and grinned to himself. He’d once believed that admitting and acting on his feelings for Renji would cause a rift to form within the band. Now that he and Renji were together and it was out in the open within the band and the crew, Ichigo felt a hundred pounds lighter. With such a weight off his shoulders he was able to not only focus on the relationship without worrying about hiding it but he could put time and energy into getting his life back.

Ichigo wouldn’t have admitted it to very many people but the presence of Ms. Inoue in his life was disturbing. He didn’t want to have to worry about her anymore. Didn’t want to have to reorganize his life around her anymore.

Hisagi, Ikkaku and Ganju had made it clear to him that the chances of her just going away on her own had gone from ‘fair’ to ‘slim-and-none’ a while ago. She wasn’t going to go away on her own so Ichigo needed to figure out a way to make her go away.

 

He was lost in thought, watching the scenery fly by outside while one of Renji’s punk songs played in his ears. Lyrics for a new song were dancing through his head but were lost when a shadow fell across him. Looking up he saw Renji’s smiling face looking down at him. Ichigo smiled back and pulled the speakers from his ears with a quick yank.

“Hey Handsome,” he said, motioning for Renji to sit next to him. “Done with the death match?”

Renji dropped into the seat and pulled Ichigo in for a quick kiss.  
Ichigo’s smile widened as Renji pulled away slowly.

“Toshiro cheats.”

“Does that mean you lost?” Ichigo asked with more than a little amusement in his voice.

Renji mumbled something and scowled.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I won once.”

Ichigo reached over and pulled the redhead’s hand into his own lap and intertwined their fingers. “Well, I still like you regardless.”

Renji looked over and grinned before he spotted the little red iPod sitting on Ichigo’s thigh. “Listening to my music?”

“Mm Hmm.”

A tattooed eyebrow rose up. “Anything in particular?”

Ichigo gazed into Renji’s eyes for a moment before answering. “I heard that you like my voice.”

“Did you?”

“Mm Hmm,” the singer replied happily as a splash of red rose onto Renji’s face. “You’re blushing.”

“It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“Why?”

Renji shrugged. “I don’t know. It just is.”

“I was flattered.”

The redhead scowled. “Who told you? Grimm?”

Ichigo nodded.

“Sneaky bastard.”

“It’s very sweet, Ren. Don’t be embarrassed.”

Renji rolled his eyes playfully and gently squeezed Ichigo’s hand.

“I just don’t want you thinking I’m some kind of crazy stalker or something.”

Ichigo laughed. “I’ve already got a stalker, Ren. I know what those are and you are definitely not crazy. At least not that kind of crazy.”

“Gee, thanks, Ich.”

“Anytime.”

 

Time seemed to fly by after that. Ichigo spent the next few hours laughing more than he had in years as Renji kept him entertained. They talked and laughed and held hands and even managed to make out for a while until Toshiro wandered out of the Inner Sanctum to grab something to drink and yelled at them to get a room. Renji had reluctantly pulled away even though he was more than anxious to do just that.

Ichigo was surprised at the amount of time that went by because before he knew it Kenny was pulling the bus into one of the final cities on their tour. The city itself wasn’t impressive at all but it didn’t need to be. Ichigo wouldn’t be happy until he saw the beautiful Chicago skyline and he still had a week before he could.

As soon as the bus approached the arena where they’d be playing he nudged Renji, who’d slumped down into the chair and fallen asleep, awake. Their hands were still clasped together and neither of them let go as Renji blinked his eyes and sat up higher.

“We there?”

Ichigo nodded and pointed towards the building Kenny was parking next top. Ichigo saw the trailer trucks already parked in neat rows farther out in the lot. He smiled to himself, thinking back to the days when they had to borrow Toshiro’s mom’s minivan to haul their equipment around. Now there were a dozen trucks to pull it all and a crew of dozens to put it all together and several buses to haul everyone around.

Of course the crew’s buses weren’t as plush as the band’s but they definitely rode in style. Ichigo smiled to himself, thinking about how Ikkaku had practically begged to get to ride on Yumi’s bus. Hisagi had agreed before ordering Ganju to stick with the some of the roadies. Ichigo had questioned the decision, explaining that he rarely had any contact with the roadies so he didn’t see the point of having one of his bodyguards travel with them. Hisagi had made it clear that he wanted one of the guards to be around for all aspects of show setup. With Ganju being near the roadies, who built the stage and get the arena ready, he could make sure nothing weird happened. Ikkaku could keep an eye on the sound crew, if he focused long enough on his job to stop lusting after Yumichika. That left Hisagi to stay with Ichigo and the band.

“What are you smiling at?”

Renji’s voice broke into Ichigo’s thoughts and the singer shook his head. “Nothing really. Just thinking about how far we’ve come.”

“Yeah? Remember that bar where we played our first show? We weren’t even old enough to get in legally.”

Renji laughed. “Yeah, and the owner paid us twenty bucks. With gas to get there it ended up costing us. But it was good times. We were just four kids having fun.”

“Ren, we’re still just four kids having fun.”

Renji shrugged and said, “I guess, only with a lot more responsibility.”

“You make that sound bad.”

“Not bad, no, but don’t you sometimes wish that we could go back to the way things were? When we were still stupid teenagers trying to scrape a life out for ourselves?”

Ichigo could see where Renji was coming from but that didn’t mean he agreed. “So you think we have nothing left to work for? Nothing to strive for? We’ve made it as far as we can?”

“I don’t know, Ich. What else is there? A Grammy? You know I could care less about that.”

“It would be nice to win something that actually means something. Not that what we’ve already got isn’t good enough, but come on Ren, a Grammy would be nice.”

Renji sat back in his chair with his shoulders slumped and knees spread wide, thinking about what Ichigo had said. “You’re right, Ich. It would be nice. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I wasn’t willing to take the band higher. As high as we can get, I’m there. With you.”

Ichigo was about to reply when the front door separating the driver’s space from the living space opened and Hisagi stepped through. He smiled at Ichigo and greeted both men and Ichigo was amused at the scowl that crossed Renji’s face. Is Renji jealous of Hisagi?


	9. Track 9 -

**Track 9**

 

Sweat dripped from Ichigo and practically soaked his t-shirt. Hisagi, who had positioned himself on the edge of the stage, was watching the crowd closely while still managing to keep an eye on the frontman and he could see the other man’s shirt sticking flat to his chest and back. The stage lights were baking him as he sang to the packed arena in front of him and Hisagi soon discovered that he couldn’t look away. He didn’t know what it was about the orange haired singer but Hisagi was quickly becoming intrigued. He knew Ichigo was off limits. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was involved with Renji, even if he hadn’t witnessed them together himself. The angry glares Renji shot him whenever the bodyguard saw him were enough of a warning but Hisagi was still good enough to read the unwritten signs.

Pulling his eyes away from the sweating sexy man singing to the crowd, Hisagi ran his gaze over the front of the crowd before searching out the audience for anything out of the ordinary. He found it very strange that since Ikkaku, Ganju and himself had shown up Ichigo hadn’t heard anything from his stalker. She’d practically disappeared and all three of the professional bodyguards found it quite disturbing. She’d been an almost constant presence until they’d shown up and Hisagi couldn’t help but feel that it was somehow connected. Did she know that he had more protection now? Or was it just a coincidence and she’d soon reappear to continue making Ichigo’s life a living hell?

The band finished up a song and the roar of the crowd brought Hisagi’s attention back to the stage and to Ichigo at his microphone. As soon as the last note stopped Grimm and Renji started the next song with a vicious riff and a frantic beat, closely followed by Toshiro, plucking a deep rhythm with his bass. A cheer erupted from the audience and Ichigo grinned, loving the crowd’s reaction, before starting his vocals.

_Getting trampled under boots of progress_  
_Ignore the pleading of the nameless faces_  
_Now with our backs against the wall_  
_How long til we fall?_

_Do away with all the underprivileged_  
_Their demographic doesn’t fit your image_  
_Turn your blind eye when duty calls_  
_How long til we fall?_

_In with the new_  
_This is something that you can’t ignore_  
_In with the new_  
_A simple thing worth fighting for_  
_In with the new_

Hisagi continued to watch the crowd but felt his attention being pulled more and more towards the thin orange haired man standing at the front of the stage. Ichigo had an amazing amount of charisma which in turn amplified the incredible amount of talent he possessed. He was a gifted musician and played his guitar with skill but he was also a passionate songwriter with an incredibly unique voice and with the help of his three band mates it was a completely devastating combination. A Hollow Life was a band that would be on top for a long time to come but Hisagi could see that without Ichigo they wouldn’t be nearly as successful.

A girl in the first couple of rows caught the bodyguard’s attention and he studied her for a moment, initially believing her to be Ichigo’s stalker in disguise. He quickly realized however that she wasn’t focused on Ichigo. She was doing her best to gain Grimm’s attention by flashing him coy smiles and plenty of cleavage. Hisagi cast his gaze over to the lead guitarist and smiled. Grimm was completely lost in the music and wasn’t paying her any attention. He made a mental note to ask the blue haired man about it later. From the rumors that Hisagi had heard, Grimm was a hell of a ladies man and had taken his fair share of groupies to bed, or the bus or his hotel room, or wherever he felt it was most convenient. Hisagi felt kind of bad for the fan in the crowd because she was obviously oblivious to the fact that the chances of having sex with Grimm that night were slim to none. Even if he somehow took an interest in her, Hisagi couldn’t let him bring a strange girl anywhere near Ichigo. Even if it wasn’t that particular girl.

Somehow the bodyguard knew that Grimm would be okay with that. There was something different about Grimm. Sure, he was a complete asshole most of the time but in the short time that the bodyguards had spent with the band, Hisagi had come to think of Grimm as the older brother in a very close family. He was mean and teasing and lived to make his brothers’ lives difficult but in reality was just looking out for them and would do everything he could to make sure they didn’t want for anything. Ichigo, Renji and Toshiro were his brothers and he would do whatever he had to do to make sure they were healthy, happy and most importantly, safe.

A quick scan of the stage told Hisagi that nothing was out of place and the band members were in their element. A break in the song brought Grimm, Renji and Toshiro to a stop while Ichigo played a solo riff and sang the next verse. Grimm, standing at his own microphone looked out into the crowd and grinned, adding a few notes of his own when the time was right. Ichigo sang a moment longer before Renji hit the hi-hat and both he and Toshiro began again. The song was fast paced and one that Hisagi had played at max volume more than once. It was from one of their earlier albums and he was happy that they were playing it. They did that often though and it always made for a good concert. There wasn’t much that Hisagi disliked about going to concerts but when a band played only their latest releases it got pretty boring. True fans didn’t want to hear just the songs that were played on the radio. They wanted previously unreleased stuff and even a few covers. A Hollow Life was truly a great concert band.

_Now in the whirlwind of my life_  
_Is where you presently reside_  
_Can I pretend you don’t exist?_  
_Maybe just for ten more minutes?_  
_My hearts been broken into two_  
_And rusted from years of disuse_  
_So will you place upon it your hand?_  
_Will you help it beat again?_

_It seems the whole world’s turned on me_  
_Bound and gagged in the land of the free_  
_Let’s talk this over, this game is over_  
_In with the new, out with the old_  
_Hearts of the world have grown so cold_  
_This game is over, let’s talk this over_

Before long the musicians were playing their encore and bringing the show to an end. Hisagi had kept in touch with Ikkaku and Ganju through the entire event and none of them had seen anything worth worrying about. A couple of kids had been caught smoking weed in one of the bathrooms and a young couple had been seen doing something inappropriate for public viewing in a service hallway but everything else had gone smoothly. Hisagi was glad he’d be able to report good news to Ichigo and the other guys once they were offstage and out of the crowd’s line of sight.

As soon as the encore ended Ichigo thanked the crowd, Toshiro and Grimm each gave a quick wave and Renji threw his sticks into the audience, all to the sound of an arena full of fans screaming and yelling for more. Hisagi grinned at Ichigo as the singer moved off stage and handed his guitar to a waiting Yumichika who’d been waiting nearby. The guitar technician quickly took the expensive instrument and hurried away. “Great show, Ichigo. You guys rocked hard.”

Ichigo smiled and blew out a heavy breath. “Thanks. It was a good crowd.”

Hisagi was about to reply when a pair of tattooed arms encircled Ichigo’s waist and Renji stepped up behind him, pressing his sweaty chest into Ichigo’s equally sweaty back. The drummer pressed a quick kiss to Ichigo’s neck and stepped away. “I need a shower so fucking bad.”

The singer laughed and nodded in agreement. “Yes, we all do. I think the lights were hotter than usual or something.”

Renji grinned. “You’re just too hot for your own good.”

“Look who’s talking, Ren.”

“Come on, let’s get our stuff and get on the bus. The sooner we get to the hotel the better.”

Hisagi followed close behind the couple and waited outside the dressing room for them as they grabbed their bags. It didn’t take but a moment for the two of them to reappear, each with a bag in their hands. They talked and laughed and flirted and Hisagi listened for another moment before walking a few steps away and pressing the button on his phone, calling Ikkaku to get an update on the other man’s whereabouts. He was about to tell the bald bodyguard to meet him at the band’s bus when he heard a phone ring. His eyes immediately went to Ichigo who frowned as he pulled out his phone and looked at the screen. Hisagi saw his eyes widen slightly and the bodyguard was already taking a step forward when Renji suddenly grabbed the phone from Ichigo’s hand and pressed the screen to answer the call. Hisagi and Ichigo both started to say something but the drummer was too quick.

“Hello?” he answered, scowling heavily. He waited a mere breath before starting in. “Listen to me, you psycho. You need to leave Ichigo alone. He’s not interested in you and you don’t have anything going with him. He’s taken. Do you understand that? Taken. Leave. Him. Alone.”

Hisagi stood with his arm still outstretched, mouth agape, as Renji ended the call and slapped the phone back into Ichigo’s hand. ”What the hell, Renji?”

The redhead scowled at him. “What? I’m sick of this. Maybe now she’ll leave him alone.”

“Or maybe she’ll flip out and do something crazy.”

“Like what?”

Renji was obviously disbelieving and Hisagi wasn’t sure how to answer him. He didn’t know what she would do but he was suddenly sure that things were going to get worse.


	10. Track 10 -

**Track 10**

 

“I’m sorry, Ichigo.”

He barely heard the almost whispered apology and when he turned his head Ichigo saw near-misery on Renji’s face. “Ren…”

“I’m sorry I did that, Ich. I wasn’t thinking at all.”

“Its okay.”

Renji shook his head. “No, its not. What if she does something now?”

Ichigo took a deep breath and sighed. They’d gotten on the bus right after the phone call and even though they’d sat next to each other with fingers intertwined they’d kept silent. Ichigo had initially been shocked at Renji’s reaction to the phone call. He’d known who was calling and obviously Renji had known as well. Before Ichigo had realized what was happening Renji was yelling. At Her. On the phone.

His initial reaction had been shock and had been shock and had turned to slight anger not long after. Ichigo was not the type of person to let people fight his battles for him and the fact that Renji thought he needed to had sort of pissed him off. Hisagi had in turn flipped out and had yelled at Renji for a good ten minutes for quite possibly making things much worse. It had been obvious that Renji was pissed too, judging by the look on his face, but surprisingly he had stayed quiet as they made their way through the back hallways of the arena, outside to the dark night and up onto the bus.

Ichigo had finally heard enough and had told Hisagi to leave it and Renji alone, although not in such kind terms. A look of hurt had flashed so briefly across the bodyguard’s face that if Ichigo hadn’t been staring straight at him he would have missed it. Hisagi had then gone back to the front, presumably to make a phone call since he’d pulled his phone out on the way.

Now, on the bus, with Grimm and Toshiro doing whatever it was they did in the back, the two musicians sat side by side with hands grasped together as the bus made its way from the arena towards the hotel where they’d spend the night. Ichigo had been about to speak when Renji had apologized.

“Do you think she’s going to do something?” Ichigo asked softly. “I haven’t gotten any calls lately and I haven’t seen her since the show in Cali.”

Renji stared out the window, still deep in thought and pretty upset with himself. “I don’t know, Ich, but I’m worried about you and I want her to leave you alone.”

Ichigo chuckled and squeezed Renji’s hand. “I know, Ren. I know. You and me both.”

Renji gently squeezed back and turned his head to look Ichigo in the eye. “I’m still sorry, Ichigo. I won’t do anything like that again. I just sorta lost my mind. With that asshole constantly looking at you and then Her being a complete psycho... I got scared.”

Ichigo, completely confused, opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Grimm flopping down into the chair across from them. “I heard you got another call, Itch.”

Toshiro, who’d been very quiet lately, sat on the arm of Grimm’s chair and stared down at them. “Karin’s worried.”

That was the last thing Ichigo wanted or needed. He did the best he could to not only help support his dad and sisters financially but also to keep them safe and happy. To know that he was causing his sister, who’d always been so strong, to worry was disheartening. “She shouldn’t be worrying about me. I’m okay.”

Grimm snorted and ran a hand through his damp sweaty hair. “Yeah, for now.”  
“Don’t start, Grimm. Please?” Ichigo asked.

“Props to Renji though,” The blue haired rocker said, changing the subject slightly. “Wish I’d been there to hear it go down, Drummer Boy.”

Renji smirked. “It was stupid. Highly gratifying but stupid.”

“Well somebody needed to stand up to that bitch and tell her to back the fuck off of our boy here and it might as well be Itch’s boyfriend.”

Ichigo felt himself stiffen, just slightly, at the mention of being Renji’s boyfriend. Not that he didn’t want to be. No, more like their relationship was still very new and even though they’d both admitted to wanting it, neither of them had actually talked about being completely exclusive and Ichigo didn’t want to presume anything. He knew his own feelings about the redhead but Renji hadn’t yet spoken about his feelings for Ichigo.

Renji spoke up and once again gently squeezed Ichigo’s hand before bringing it up to his mouth and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “It felt good to yell at her, I won’t deny that, but it was dumb. I shouldn’t have provoked her.”

Toshiro shifted slightly on the arm of the chair. “What did Hisagi say?”

“He was pissed at me. Yelled for a good ten minutes before Ich told him to fuck off.”

Grimm was surprised. Ichigo didn’t swear very often, unlike himself who had the mouth of a Marine on vacation. “You said that, Itch?”

Ichigo shrugged. “He was raggin on Renji and it wasn’t fair so yeah, I did.”  
“Way to stand up for your man, Itch!”

Renji rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Grimm.”

Toshiro smiled and readjusted himself on the chair again, this time drawing Grimm’s attention. “There is another chair, Tosh. You don’t have to perch on mine like a fucking bird.”

Toshiro flipped him off before getting up and sitting in the fourth chair. “Have you talked to Kisuke lately?”

Ichigo shook his head. “No, not for a while. Jinta keeps him in the loop, I think.”  
“You should call him.”

“Why? Nothing’s happened that he needs to know about,” Ichigo said.  
Toshiro frowned. “I disagree, Ichigo.”

Grimm sat forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “I’m sure Itch’s bodyguards have already called him, Tosh.”

“How do you know? Have you asked?”

“No, but I will. Where the fuck are they?”

Ichigo sighed and slouched down into his chair a bit farther. “Hisagi’s up front with Kenny.”

Grimm nodded and stood up, briefly stretching his arms up. Everyone heard his back pop twice and watched as he sighed in relief. “I’ll ask him.”

The guitarist walked away and the remaining men sat in silence for a moment before Renji started to say something only to be interrupted by the Sick Puppies sounding very tinny. Ichigo arched an eyebrow and Renji laughed and shook his head as the white haired man scrambled for his phone. He didn’t even excuse himself, just pushed the button to answer the call and mumbled something to them about the ringtone being her favorite song before getting up. He pressed the phone to his ear and the other two clearly heard him answer with a ‘Hey Baby’ before he disappeared to the back of the bus.

Ichigo shook his head in disbelief.

“When is he going to bite the bullet and ask her to marry him?”

“No clue. He hasn’t mentioned anything and neither has she.”

“He should ask her.”

Ichigo nodded. “I know. They’re crazy about each other.”

“I can understand that,” Renji whispered.

Again, Ichigo had his mouth open, ready to reply, when Grimm slid open the front door and sauntered back. Ichigo immediately noticed the scowl on his face. “What’s wrong?”

The guitar player simply shook his head. “Nothing. He said he’s talked to Kisuke every day and has kept him updated on everything.”

Ichigo nodded. “Cool. Thanks for asking, Grimm.”

“No problem.”

“I gotta piss,” Ichigo announced, letting go of Renji’s hand and standing up.

 

Renji moved his legs back and smacked him on the ass as he walked by. Ichigo smacked him back playfully and walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. As soon as the door shut behind him Grimm sank back down into his chair. “That guy is an asshole.”

“Huh? Who? Ich?”

Grimm rolled his eyes. “No, Jerk off, that fucking bodyguard. Hisagi.”

Renji didn’t need to hear Grimm say it to believe it. He already hated that guy. “What happened?”

Grimm looked him in the eye and sighed. “You know he likes Ichigo, right?  
Renji practically growled. “Yes. He stares at him all the fucking time.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

“Did he say something?”

Grimm shook his head. “No, not directly, but I could tell he wanted to. He wants to know how serious you guys are. I came right out and told him to back the fuck off cuz Itch is taken.”

“Seems like there’s a lot of people that need to be told that lately.”

“No shit. He wasn’t too happy with me but you know I could give a shit. He can fuck off for all I care. A great lot of good they fucking do, just standing around all the fucking time.”

Renji nodded. “I don’t like him.”

“I think you need to kick his ass. Or I could do it.”

“Yeah, right, Grimm. I’m going to take on a professional bodyguard? He could probably wipe the pavement with me.”

“Never know til you try it. Do it for Ichigo’s honor.”

The redhead snorted. “Right. Ichigo can handle himself.”

Grimm slouched down and spread his legs out in front of him. “But will he? I think he’s scared, Renji.”

“Well no kidding, Genius. He’s got a stalker, Grimm. That would scare the crap out of me too.”

“I know.”

The bathroom door popped open a second later and Ichigo stepped out. “Alright jerks, you can stop talking about me now.”

Renji smirked. “What makes you think we were talking about you?”

“Because I’m not stupid.”

Grimm smiled. “You two assholes are like an old married couple. I’m gonna go smack Toshiro around and leave you ladies to it.”

“He was on the phone with Karin a minute ago,” Renji replied.

“Yeah? What else is fucking new? Those two should just mind meld already or somethin. Or she just needs to come out with us so they can save their cell phone minutes.”

Ichigo shook his head. “She’s in school. She can’t just leave to come on tour with us.”

“Damn. Guess I’m just going to have to deal with their constant ‘I love you’s’. That fucking blows.”

Renji and Ichigo both laughed. “Maybe you need to find someone to love, Grimm,” Renji joked, knowing very well that Grimm was the last person to ever settle down.

“Fuck off, Drummer Boy. There’s enough love around here already to make me fucking sick. See ya ladies.” He stood up, flipped Renji off with both hands and was gone into the Inner Sanctum before either of them could reply.

“He’s so pleasant,” Ichigo joked, fully accepting of Grimm’s attitude towards the world.

Renji sat back in his chair and stared at the orange haired singer. His orange haired singer. “What’s the deal with Hisagi?”

Ichigo frowned. “What do you mean?”

“He likes you.”

Suddenly it clicked and Ichigo understood what Renji had meant earlier when he’d said an asshole had been constantly looking at him. Renji was jealous. Smiling gently, Ichigo sat next to the redhead and took his hand within his own. “Ren… don’t. Don’t worry about that. I’m not interested in him.”

Renji didn’t reply. He simply stared at their hands with a contemplative expression on his tattooed face.

“Ren?”

“We haven’t talked about it and I didn’t know what you were thinking.”

“Thinking? About us?”

Renji nodded.

“Ren, I told you that I wanted to try it out. Meaning I want to try us out. I want this to work, Renji. I don’t want Hisagi. I don’t want anyone but you.”

Renji smiled. “I’m sorry, Ich. I seem to be screwing things up left and right lately.”  
Ichigo smiled back. “Well, you are kind of an idiot.”

“I know.”

“You’re all I want, Renji. Believe that. You’re all I’ve wanted for a very long time. Just you.”

Without warning Renji leaned forward and claimed Ichigo’s lips in a hungry kiss. He claimed his mouth with a fierce need, demanding entry into the soft cavern, swiftly burying his hands in Ichigo’s soft hair and pulling him closer until they were practically chest to chest. Ichigo moaned into his mouth, relishing the delicious taste of Renji’s mouth and grasped his t-shirt with both hands, crushing the drying cotton within his fists. Ichigo felt himself grow hard immediately as warmth pooled at his groin. He breathed Renji’s name, suddenly needing more. Without pulling away, he climbed on top of the redhead, straddling his lap with his knees and leaned into Renji’s strong chest. “Renji…”

Renji feasted on Ichigo’s mouth with everything he had. His tongue tasted every inch as they grasped at each other, pulling themselves closer. Ichigo shifted in his lap and put more pressure on his crotch causing Renji to groan out loud. He almost moaned Ichigo’s name and wasn’t sure if maybe he didn’t do it anyway, pulling away just far enough to ghost his lips along Ichigo’s jaw and lick a teasing line down his neck. Ichigo shivered and leaned his head back, moaning out loud while burying his hands deep within thick silky blood red hair. Renji took the initiative and gently bit down at the juncture between his neck and shoulder making Ichigo groan even louder.

Ichigo felt Renji’s hands on his chest, teasing down to his stomach and then under his t-shirt, tickling down over the sensitive flesh just above his skin tight jeans. He wanted to push those hands farther down, to make them fumble for the button and slide the zipper down. To release his need. He wanted Renji more than he’d ever wanted anything and another moan was working its way out when the front door slid open and Hisagi charged inside. Ichigo saw him coming and almost didn’t care. The frantic urge he had to just let Renji take him was almost stronger than any embarrassment he would feel at having the event witnessed. Slowly… So very slowly, he pulled away and focused his mind on trying to slow down his breathing and erratic heartbeat.

The bodyguard came to a dead stop with his eyes as wide as they would go. “U-uh, um… sorry,” Hisagi stuttered out. “I thought I heard something.”

Renji glanced at him over Ichigo’s shoulder and growled. “Yeah, you heard something alright. Thanks for barging in, asshole.”

Ichigo frowned down at him while still straddling his lap. He whispered Renji’s name in a way that said ‘please don’t’ and the redhead sighed.

Hisagi at least had the decency to look embarrassed. Ichigo could see the red spots dotting his cheeks as he blushed. “It’s ok, Hisagi. You’re just doing your job.”

The bodyguard nodded before turning away. “Yeah. Well. Sorry anyway.”

Ichigo watched him walk away and was just about to lean down and plant another wet kiss to Renji’s so desirable lips when Hisagi turned back around and cleared his throat. “Sorry, but we’re just pulling up to the hotel. Wanted to let you guys know. Should be about thirty minutes and you can head in.”

He disappeared back to the front of the bus before either of them could reply and slowly, Ichigo pulled away and sat back on Renji’s legs. “Maybe we should pause this for a while? Continue a little bit later?”

Renji scowled, obviously still upset that they’d been interrupted, but the scowl soon turned into an evil grin when Ichigo’s meaning finally sank in. “I have no problem with that.”


	11. Track 11 -

**Track 11**

She sat still as stone, knees together, staring down at the expensive black phone in her hand. He hadn’t answered. The voice that had come on the line had been vaguely familiar but it had not been Ichigo. Her eyes narrowed as she focused on the phone. He had raised his voice to her and used vulgar language. Then he’d said Ichigo was taken. Of course he was taken. He was madly in love with her so what had the stranger meant by his comment?

  
A very disturbing thought flashed through her mind and she felt a chill creep its way up her spine. Ichigo would never…

“No,” she whispered fiercely. He would never be unfaithful. He loved her. Loved her more than anything in the world. They were destined to be together forever.

Whoever had answered his phone had been playing a joke, surely. Ichigo probably didn’t even know what had happened. Realization dawned like a light through her eyes. Ichigo didn’t know. One of those bottom feeders that claimed they were his friends had taken his phone and had answered.

Fury surged through her in a white hot wave and the phone in her hand creaked a little as her fist tightened around it. How dare they!

How dare they try to cause a rift between her and the man that would soon be her husband.

Slowly, she reigned in her anger and took a deep breath to calm herself. She couldn’t stay angry at Ichigo. He didn’t know what they’d done. But he would. She wanted to call him again and again until she heard his beautiful voice answer but it would be just her luck that the men… No, the irresponsible childish boys he travelled with wouldn’t have given him back the phone and she wouldn’t be able to get through.

No, she needed to see him face to face to get everything straightened out. Then those losers would be sorry for even thinking of trying to get between them.

Much happier than she’d been a moment ago she stood up and neatly straightened her skirt. ‘There is a lot to do before leaving’, she thought while mentally preparing a list of things to get done. He was going to be so pleased to see her!  
She was pulling out her suitcase from within the closet when a phone began ringing. A burst of elation ran through her as she sprinted for the black phone she’d left in the living room. She reached it in seconds and felt a wave of sadness float over her. The phone he’d bought for her wasn’t ringing. No, it was the silver one she’d gotten as a gift from her Uncle that was ringing. She sighed to herself, coming to terms with the fact that the love of her life wasn’t calling her back to apologize for the childish prank his friends had pulled. “Hello Uncle,” she answered.

“Hello, Orihime. How are you today?”

She frowned but knew she couldn’t let him know she was upset. “I’m fine, Uncle. How are you?”

They bantered back and forth with small talk for several minutes before the older man finally got the reason for his call. “Do you have everything you need, Orihime? You have all of your meds?”

She scowled but kept the happy sing-song voice she always used with her uncle. “Yes, Uncle. I renewed my prescriptions last week.”  
“Oh good. You know I worry about you.”

“Yes, Uncle. I know.”

The older man on the other end of the line sighed. “Well, if you don’t need anything then I will talk to you again soon.”  
“Yes, Uncle. Thank you for calling.”

She was about to end the call when he said something else. “Oh, Orihime, I meant to ask you about that young man you’re so fond of. How is your boyfriend doing?”

The mere mention of Ichigo brought a wide genuine smile to her face. “He’s doing well. Thank you for asking, Uncle.”  
“That is good news but I’ve been thinking, Orihime. When do I get to meet him? You two have been together for a while now and I’ve yet to meet him or even speak to him.”

“Yes, Uncle, I know. Its just that he’s so busy and its very hard for him to get away long enough for that sort of thing. We don’t get to spend very much time together right now. Never mind trying to find time for us to travel to see you.”

He sighed again. “Yes, well, I was thinking about that. Next time he’s in town I will come there. I need to meet the man that has swept my lovely niece off of her feet.”

“Of course, Uncle. That would be wonderful. I will let him know.”

“Great. I’ll be looking forward to it. Enjoy your evening, Orihime. Sleep well.”

“Thank you, Uncle. You too. Goodnight.”

The smile dropped off of her face as soon as the call ended and the anger she’d been feeling prior to speaking to her caring but obnoxious uncle came right back. Grumbling softly to herself, she walked back to her bedroom and began to pack. All she wanted to do was pack her bag and get to Ichigo. As soon as he heard what his so-called friends had done things would be handled and, slightly smiling to herself, Orihime couldn’t wait until she was able to make them all pay. Everyone of them would regret the day they decided to interfere with her and Ichigo’s relationship.


	12. Track 12

**Track 12**

 

Renji couldn’t help but smile down at the sleeping angelic face of a certain orange-haired musician. They’d been waiting for the security check to end inside the hotel and Ichigo had faded fast. The adrenaline rush they all felt during a show had run its course and as soon as Ichigo had laid his cheek against Renji’s tattooed shoulder he was sound asleep. Renji on the other hand was still feeling fairly good. Granted, he was getting tired but he just couldn’t look away. He stared at the relaxed expression on Ichigo’s face and felt something pull in his chest. He’d never planned on getting into a relationship while the band was doing so well. The music had been his focus and he had never wanted to get sidetracked but somewhere along the way Ichigo had claimed a very large portion of his heart. It hadn’t been overnight. No, more like a little bit at a time had been secretly stolen away by the singer as they grew from obnoxious punk teenagers to the men they were now.

Renji sighed contentedly and shifted his arm out from under Ichigo’s face to wrap around his shoulders. The singer exhaled in his sleep and cuddled closer, making the drummer’s smile grow wider.

Yes, somewhere within the past several years Ichigo had gone from one of his best friends to the one person Renji would be willing to give it all up for. He’d wanted to admit his feelings long ago but the simple fear of rejection had kept him silent. There had been something between them for a while. A certain chemistry had been discovered and something had bloomed there. Their relationship however had stayed completely platonic, much to Grimm’s displeasure, and they had focused solely on their music. Renji supposed it had all worked out in the end though. The band was enjoying huge success and he had Ichigo asleep in his arms.

The drummer was threading his fingers through impossibly soft orange hair when Hisagi pulled open the door and stepped into the band’s space. He looked at the two musicians, flashing a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it grin and announced they could head into the hotel. Renji nodded and gently nudged Ichigo awake. When brown eyes opened and blinked away the remnants of sleep he pulled his arm away and stood up to stretch.

Ichigo followed suit and apologized for falling asleep on him. “I didn’t drool on you, did I?”

Renji grinned and shook his head. “I wouldn’t have cared if you did.”

 

The hotel itself was just like every other one they’d ever stayed in. It was nice and clean with a respectful and friendly staff but it wasn’t overly fancy and it didn’t come with any extra frills. Not that Renji cared about that. He’d grown up poor, hungry and cold and the harsh childhood he’d faced had somehow taught him the value of modesty. While his unfit mother had been busy drinking and taking illegal drugs with her equally drug-laced friends he’d sat at home in their scurvy bug infested apartment with no food in the cupboards and more often than not the landlord was banging on the door looking for the overdue rent. He’d had absolutely nothing to call his own until after he’d turned nine.

He’d been in fourth grade when his aunt and uncle had shown up at the door and hustled him away while his mother had been out. He could remember being sad to leave since the second floor apartment had been the only home he’d ever known but Renji had been a little excited at the same time. Something had told him that his life was about to get a whole lot better and that something had been absolutely correct. After being taken to their home to live he’d finally had hot food in his belly every night and a warm clean bed to sleep in.

The loving couple had legally adopted him as soon as they’d been able and he’d had a wonderful life after that. They’d been the ones to buy him his first drum kit when he was twelve and even though he knew now, thanks to his aunt being honest when he’d asked, that they had sat downstairs, in their cozy living room, with ear plugs jammed in their ears as he’d practiced every night, they had never once complained. Neither one of them had ever stormed upstairs and screamed at him to knock it off. Instead, they’d taken him to his lessons without fail and had beamed brightly every time he’d learned something new. Neither one of them had ever missed a concert or performance while he was a part of the high school band and when A Hollow Life had first formed and the band was playing tiny clubs and hole-in-the-wall bars they’d managed to come then too.

Renji sighed to himself while thinking of the older couple that he loved as his parents and couldn’t help but feel enormous gratitude towards them. They had raised him to understand the importance of family and friends, of being honest and trustworthy and that having money didn’t make you rich.

The elevator dinged as it reached the fifth floor, which the band had all to themselves, and the noise pulled Renji from his memories. He blinked a couple of times and watched while the shiny elevator doors opened to reveal a baldheaded man standing in the hallway. “Everything’s clear up here,” the hairless guard said to Hisagi who stepped out of the elevator first.

“Are you sure?”

“Each room has been cleared and the stairs are at each end of the hall. Ganju and me got it covered.”

Hisagi nodded his understanding and agreement with the situation report and took four key cards from the other guard. “Good job, Madarame.”

Ikkaku nodded and watched as the band and Hisagi continued down the hallway.

Toshiro got the first card and Hisagi waited until the white haired bassist went in and shut the door behind him before moving on. Grimm got the next and the guitarist grunted an acceptance while taking the card and disappearing into his room. “Renji, you have the next one. I want Ichigo in a room close to the back stairs in case we have to get him out of here in a hurry.”

Renji nodded and took the card but he didn’t go in. Instead, he waited until Hisagi had given Ichigo his own key before turning to face the singer. He was grateful that Hisagi seemed to be able to tell that he wanted to talk to Ichigo alone because the raven haired bodyguard took several steps away and turned his back to them. “You should go and take a shower, Ich. You’re about to fall over. Get cleaned up and get some sleep.”

Ichigo, who’d obviously been having trouble keeping his eyes open since they got off the bus, scowled deeply. “But what about…”

Renji shook his head and interrupted. “Don’t worry about that, Ich. We can pick up from where we left off anytime. I’m starting to feel dead on my feet and I know you are too. We’ll be better off tomorrow after some serious sleep.”

Ichigo seemed to think about it for a moment before he nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’m sorry, Renji. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

The drummer let out a quiet chuckle and gently rubbed the pad of his thumb over Ichigo’s cheek. “Don’t apologize. We’re all tired. Go on and get to bed. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay.”

They kissed their goodbyes and Renji watched Ichigo disappear behind his door before he turned around to see Hisagi looking at him. The drummer scowled and momentarily contemplated knocking on Ichigo’s door to be allowed entry but he thought twice about it. It was important to Ichigo that things stay friendly between everyone. The singer certainly didn’t need any additional pressure or stress and Renji was going to do his best to see that the man he cared so much about was happy and content. “What, Hisagi? What are you looking at me for?”

The bodyguard seemed to be taken aback by the question for a split second but he recovered quickly. “Can we talk for a minute?”  
Renji nodded.

Hisagi glanced around, double checking that Ikkaku and Ganju were in their positions at the opposite ends of the hallway, before continuing. “I couldn’t help but notice that there’s some tension between us, Renji, and I want you to know that I’m here as a bodyguard and nothing else.”

Renji arched a tattooed brow disbelievingly. “Really? Sorry if I don’t believe that, Hisagi, but I’ve seen how you look at him.”  
Hisagi sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair before he answered. “Look, I’ll admit it okay. I’m attracted to Ichigo. I mean, honestly, how could I not be? He’s talented and gorgeous and sexy as hell but I know that he’s taken, Renji. I know that you two are together and I need you to believe that my only intention for being here is to keep him safe. I’m not the competition.”

Renji’s first instinct was to ball up his fist and punch the bodyguard in his pretty face but he didn’t. Something about the dark haired man’s tone of voice made him believe everything he said. “You’re not trying to hook up with Ichigo?”

Hisagi sighed again. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Renji, but if he was single and we had met under different circumstances I’d be all over him. I won’t deny that, but he’s not single and I’m here to keep him safe so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m here for him therefore I’m here for you and the rest of the band.”

Renji nodded, unsure of what to say.

“I need you to do something for me, Renji.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to let me do my job. My main concern is Ichigo so I have to be around him. I have to look at him and talk to him and generally be in his life. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to get with him, okay?”

“You can protect him without checking him out every time you look at him.”

“I know.”

Secretly, Renji was pleased that Hisagi had the sense to blush as he replied. If he hadn’t, the redhead may have lost his self control and punched him anyway. He was fairly certain that Hisagi could take him down in a second if he had to but Renji could never be considered weak and he knew he could at least mar Hisagi’s pretty face pretty good before he himself got too bruised to do anything else. “Okay. I’ll back off and let you do your job as long as you stop undressing Ichigo with your eyes every time you see him. Agreed?”

The bodyguard nodded and stuck out a hand to shake on it. “Agreed.”

Renji shook his hand quickly and walked to his hotel room door. “Good. Cuz I’d hate to have to try to kick your ass. I’m sure you’re tough and all but I’d give you a fight, Hisagi.”

“I know you would, Renji. I’m trying to avoid that at all costs.”

“Alright. As long as that’s settled then I’m going to bed. I’m tired as hell.”

“You’re not going to stay with Ichigo?”

“Not tonight.”

Hisagi nodded and was half-turned away before he remembered something else. “Hey, Renji, can you do something else for me?”

“What?”

“Could you maybe put in a good word for me with Grimm? I have a feeling he wants to rip my head off.”

Renji laughed. “Probably does. I can’t blame him there though.”

“The last thing this situation needs is more tension, Renji.”

Sighing to himself, Renji knew it was true. Having Grimm angry with the people hired to keep Ichigo safe would likely cause more problems in the long run and Renji couldn’t allow anything to happen to Ichigo. “I’ll see what I can do. Goodnight.”

The hotel room door was shut and locked before Hisagi could reply and Renji was already half undressed with his trainers kicked off by the door and his t-shirt thrown somewhere across the room before he reached the bathroom door. With a flick of his wrist the water came on in a rush and his jeans and boxers soon met the same fate as his shirt and shoes. He stepped into the large shower and sighed in amazing relief as the stream of hot water sluiced down over his head and shoulders. With care he pulled the band from his long hair and shook it down, slightly cringing at the feeling as the heavy weight relaxed. He’d felt stiff and disgusting after the layer of sweat had dried and wanted nothing more than to let his hair down, get it washed and climb into bed. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. What he wanted more than anything was to do all of that with Ichigo’s help but he knew it would have to wait. They both needed sleep and while Renji washed and scrubbed and conditioned himself in his own bathroom, he couldn’t help but wonder if Ichigo, the most beautiful man Renji had ever had the pleasure of seeing, was already asleep. He smiled, remembering the relaxed expression Ichigo had on his face while he’d been sound asleep against Renji’s chest and felt the tug in his chest again.


	13. Track 13 -

**Track 13**

 

Ichigo was practically unconscious by the time his head hit the pillow. He’d wanted to pull Renji into his room with him and ravish the redhead against the wall until they were both panting and desperate for release but Ren had been right. He was dead on his feet. Ichigo could remember sitting with Renji on the bus and then suddenly the red-haired man was nudging him awake and Ichigo had been a little concerned that he’d drooled all over Renji’s shoulder. No matter how utterly depressing it was to go to bed alone he wasn’t capable at the moment of doing anything else. As soon as he’d kissed Renji goodnight and the redhead had practically pushed him into his room he’d shuffled to the bathroom, showered off a days worth of sweat and stink and had been still dripping wet when he’d collapsed on the bed with an exhausted sigh. The mattress wasn’t as firm as he would like and the sheets, while decent, weren’t what he preferred but that didn’t stop him from almost immediately falling asleep.

Dreams came shortly thereafter and Ichigo’s mind went from the semi-soft bed within the hotel to the king-size bed swathed in black and red within his own bedroom. Silvery moonlight filtered in through the large windows at the head of the bed illuminating the rise and fall of high thread count sheets. Ichigo stared at the bed as he stepped steadily closer. From the angle he stood at Ichigo could see a strand of long blood red hair coiled on the midnight black sheets.

Renji lay on his stomach, one arm curled under his pillow, the other outstretched with palm down over Ichigo’s side of the bed. The singer smiled down at his lover before grasping Renji’s hand and gently lifting it off the bed. Quickly he slid in and curled towards the larger man. Renji grinned in his sleep and pulled Ichigo closer with an arm locked around his waist. This was right where he wanted to be and Ichigo soon closed his eyes and took a breath. Time seemed to jump forward after that and much too soon early morning sunlight filtered in through the un-shaded windows, tinting his closed eyelids an annoying pink-orange. Ichigo growled and cracked his sleepy chocolate eyes open. Glancing over to the spot where Renji had been he frowned deeply. The spot was empty and the sheets were cold. He listened for a moment, thinking that perhaps the drummer was in the shower or had gone downstairs for something. No, the house was silent and Ichigo’s not-quite-awake-yet mind was seriously considering going back to sleep when the phone rang a second later. He reached for the cordless on the bedside table and pulled it to his ear. His voice came out huskier than usual when he answered. “You’d better have a good reason for leaving my bed so early, Ren. You could have said goodbye.”

Ichigo expected an answer and when all he heard was quiet breathing his brain clicked and he knew it wasn’t Renji on the other end...

The singer jerked awake completely and sat up, taking in the interior of the hotel room. His stomach was practically in his throat. He’d been dreaming. Dreaming of spending the night with Renji in his own house and his own bed and then She had called and he’d answered the phone like that. “Hello?”

He could hear her breathing but there was something else. Quiet sobbing perhaps? She was crying. “Hello?” he asked again carefully.

Of course Ichigo didn’t expect an answer since she’d never spoken to him on the phone before so when he heard the soft voice utter the single solitary word in an almost inaudible whisper he couldn’t help but announce his shock with a sharp intake of breath.

“Why?”

His still sleepy brain tried to wrap around the word. Why? Why what?

“Why, Ichigo? Why would you do this to me? To us?”

His trademark scowl deepened. “What do you mean?”

“You said you loved me.”

“Uh, no I did-“

“You promised yourself to me.”

“No, I-“

“You said we would be together forever, Ichigo.”

“No, I’m sorry-“

“Now I understand. Everyone warned me. They said you were no good, Ichigo, but I’d always stood up for you. I always did that,Ichigo. I always told them how great you were and I told them how much we loved each other and how we would be together after you came back home to me but now you’re sleeping with someone else?”

“Wait, I-

“You’re cheating on me aren’t you, Ichigo?”

He didn’t want to admit it but she was kind of freaking him out a little. If they had truly been in a relationship and she’d discovered him cheating on her he would fully expect her to scream and yell and throw things but her voice stayed the same quiet almost-whisper and it was very disconcerting to say the least. “I-I, uh… I-“

She stayed quiet for a moment and her next words sent a chill down his spine. “I’m going to get you, Ichigo. I’m going to make you pay for this. I’m going to make you hurt for breaking my heart and then I’m going to get your whore and I’m going to make them hurt. I’m going to make him pay too, Ichigo. Nobody does this to me, Ichigo, not even you.”

The call clicked off as she hung up and Ichigo sat in the bed with a million questions blasting through at warp speed and he couldn’t begin to grasp a single one in order to focus on it. His hand was shaking a little as he lowered the phone to his lap. Renji.

He needed to see Renji.

In a burst of energy he sprung from the bed and ripped open the door. Once his bare feet met with the slightly rougher hallway carpet he stopped and glanced around. Ikkaku was racing towards him with a gun Ichigo hadn’t realized the man carried drawn and ready. “Ichigo? What is it?”

“Ph-hone.”

Ikkaku frowned down at the phone Ichigo hadn’t realized he still held. “What about it?”

Ichigo shook his head. “Never mind. I need to see Renji.”

“Yeah? Okay. Don’t scare me like that, Ichigo. I thought something had happened.”

“Sorry Ikkaku. I’m okay.”

The hairless man just nodded his understanding and re-holstered the menacing black pistol. “I’m down by the elevator if you need me. Ganju and Hisagi are catching some Z’s.”

Ichigo watched him walk away before he moved towards Renji’s door and knocked.

 

Ichigo waited a few counts before knocking again, knowing very well that Renji was a heavy sleeper and that if he was tired, like he was before they’d gone their separate ways earlier, he’d be hell to wake up. “Renji? You awake?”

He heard a groan seconds before the door was pulled open. Light from the hallway spilled into the dark room, illuminating Renji’s beautiful half-naked form. Even in Ichigo’s still freaked out stake out of mind Renji was breathtaking. The singer stared down the other man’s bare expanse of skin, taking in the thick black tattoos that never hesitated to make his mouth water. “Ich? You okay?”

Renji’s voice snapped Ichigo’s eyes up and he took a deep breath before shaking his head. “No, I’m not. Can I come in?”

“Of course. Come on,” the drummer answered while stepping back and opening the door wider. “What happened, Ich?”

Ichigo moved into the room and sat on the end of the bed before taking a deep breath. “She called again, Ren.”

Renji scowled and sat next to him. “When? Just now?”

“Yes. I… I was sleeping and…”

Renji slid closer and wrapped an arm around Ichigo’s trembling shoulders. “Jesus, Ich, you’re shaking. What the hell happened?”  
“I was dreaming about you and I must have answered the phone while I was still asleep. I thought it was you calling, Ren. I thought it was you and I said some things.”

“It was her on the phone?”

Ichigo nodded his head and held the phone up. “She… she flipped out Ren.”

“What do you mean? I thought she never said anything.”

“She was crying. I didn’t know what to say but she went off about me cheating on her and that I told her that I loved her and we were supposed to be together forever. I never said those things to her.”

Renji tightened his hold and shook his head in frustration. “Of course not, Ich. She’s crazy, remember. She’s got this image of you in her head. It wouldn’t matter what you ever said to her. She’s going to hear what she wants to hear.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Did she say anything else?”

Ichigo sat and thought for a moment, trying to replay the disturbing conversation in his mind. “She said she was going to make me pay for breaking her heart.”

Renji frowned and cursed under his breath. “She threatened you. We need to tell Hisagi.”  
Ichigo nodded before something else clicked. “Oh God.”

“What is it?”

“She said something else. I didn’t catch it earlier.”

"What was it, Ich?”

Ichigo blinked against the terror that was slowly filling him. “She… she said she was going to go after my ‘whore” too. She‘s going to make them pay. Make him hurt too.”

Renji frowned. “I don’t underst-“

Ichigo jumped up from the edge of the bed and turned to stare down at his other half. “Shit. I said your name, Renji. When I answered the phone. I thought it was you calling. I'd been dreaming and I said your name.”

Understanding dawned on Renji’s face and he quickly stood up and moved towards the door. “We need to tell Hisagi and the others. They have to know. Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  
Ichigo simply nodded hand began to pace the room, cursing to himself inside his own head. He’d endangered Renji and that was unacceptable. It had only been himself within her sights before and now she thought he’d been unfaithful. Unfaithful with Renji. The ridiculousness of the entire situation wasn’t lost on him at all but he couldn’t let that distract him. She was obviously off her rocker and if she perceived Renji as a threat to her happiness then she would no doubt try to get to him.

Renji was gone longer than Ichigo was comfortable with and he was about to go looking for him when the hotel room door popped open and Renji walked in, closely followed by Hisagi, Ikkaku, Grimm and Toshiro. “What the hell? You guys don’t need to be here. Go get some sleep.”

Grimm scoffed and plopped down onto Renji’s bed. “Fuck you, Itch. Anything that involves you involves us.”  
Toshiro sat in one of the small chairs pulled up to a little wooden table and nodded. “Grimm’s right, Ichigo. We’re here for you guys.”

Hisagi stepped up and reached out an open hand. Give me your phone, Ichigo.”

Ichigo handed it over without another word and watched as the dark haired man slid his fingers over the touch screen, accessing his call log. “I need to hear exactly what she said to you, Ichigo. Every word, as much as you can remember.”

“W-well, at first she was just crying.”

Hisagi snapped his attention up from the phone and stared at Ichigo hard. “Crying?”

“Yeah, crying.”

"Why? “

Ichigo scowled. “How would I know?”

“How did you answer the phone?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, don’t you usually ignore her calls? Was it from a different number or something?”

Ichigo shook his head. “No. I was still asleep. I’d been dreaming that the phone was ringing and I thought it was Renji calling so I answered it. She was crying and it woke me up when I realized the call had been real. “

“How did you answer? Did you say anything other than ‘hello’?”

“I-I said Renji’s name.”

“That’s all?”

“I said that he’d better have a good excuse for leaving my bed so early without saying goodbye.”

Ichigo saw Renji smirk at him and heard Grimm laugh but Hisagi and Ikkaku simply stood there.

“You’re sure you didn’t say anything else?

“Yeah, I’m sure. I answered and she stayed quiet for a second and then I heard her crying.”

“What then?”

Ichigo took a deep breath and held it for a moment, trying to wash away the feeling he’d gotten when he’d heard her ask him.

“Why?”

Hisagi frowned. “What?”

“She asked me ‘why’. Why would I do this to her and to us.”

Ikkaku grumbled something about her obviously being completely delusional and Hisagi finished his exam of Ichigo’s phone beforehanding it to Renji. “I don’t want you to get all freaked out about this Ichigo. Renji shouldn’t be in any real danger. We’ve got you guys covered so I need you to just go on about your life like everything is normal. The tour is almost over, right?”

Ichigo nodded.

“Then you guys can get back home. It’s a lot easier to defend you when you’re stationary. Staying in different hotels in different cities is a huge pain in the ass. Things will be better once you get back to Chicago. Trust me, okay? Neither you or Renji is in any real danger from her.”

“Okay.”

Hisagi smiled, trying to reassure Ichigo that things were okay but the singer couldn’t really believe it. None of them had heard the quiet fierceness that had been in her voice. She was coming and Ichigo knew it. He would trust Hisagi and his crew to keep him and Renji safe but Ichigo would need to be on his guard and look out for the redhead as well.

“All right, well, I’m sure you guys need more sleep so why don’t you get to it. Ikkaku is on guard out by the elevators so go to him if you need anything else. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Hisagi and Ikkaku were out the door before anyone could respond. Ichigo figured he was on his way to call Kisuke and let their manager know what was going on. He’d surely be getting a call from the blonde sometime in the morning expressing his feelings about the situation. Grimm and Toshiro both grumbled their goodnights and left the room as well, Grimm closing the door behind him. Ichigo couldn’t bring himself to go back to his own room and lucky for him he didn’t need to mention it. Renji moved past him, clicking off the light, before grasping Ichigo wrist and gently pulling him towards the bed. “Come on, Ich. You’re sleeping with me tonight.”

Ichigo really liked those words coming from Renji’s mouth and he followed without any hesitation. “I’m sorry about all of this, Ren.”  
Renji cut off any further apology by pressing a quick kiss to Ichigo’s mouth. “Don’t apologize, Ich. This isn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself for any of this. “

“I can’t help but feel guilty, Ren.”

The redhead slid into the bed and pulled Ichigo down next to him before pulling the blankets up over both of them. Ichigo tucked himself in next to the larger man and pressed his cheek against Renji’s shoulder. “I know, Ich, but you shouldn’t. “

“IF anything happens to you…”

“Shh,” Renji soothed, wrapping his arm around Ichigo and pulling him closer. “No more of that. Let’s go to sleep. I’m exhausted and I know you are too.”

Lying in Renji’s arms, in a warm bed, brought Ichigo’s fatigue back ten-fold. His eyes drifted shut and he was asleep again before he could utter another word. Renji felt him relax and gently squeezed again before pressing a kiss to the top of the soft orange hair. “Good night, Ich.”


	14. Track 14 -

**Track 14**

 

Ichigo woke slowly, letting his body become accustomed to the new but very pleasant sensations he felt around him. He was lying on his side, left arm underneath him, with his chest pressed against Renji’s firm warm body. His cheek lie on the redhead’s tattooed shoulder and his other hand was palm down directly over Renji’s heart. Slowly, Ichigo opened his eyes. Renji was on his back with one arm curled under Ichigo’s neck, his hand nestled within orange hair. His other hand was palm down, gently holding onto Ichigo’s on his chest.

The singer smiled and pressed a kiss to Renji’s chest.

The drummer, still partially asleep, hummed an appreciation and tightened his hold.

“You awake, Ren?”

Renji cracked open one eye and yawned. “Mornin’ Ich.”

“Good morning.”

Both men lay in silence for a moment, simply appreciating the fact that they’d both had the pleasure of waking in the other’s arms. Ichigo slid his hand from Renji’s and gently traced a fingertip over the black tribal markings that stretched from Renji’s handsome face to well below his waist. He wanted to taste them so he did by leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to one of the thick black lines.

Renji brushed his hand over Ichigo’s cheek once before rolling farther onto his side and running his palm over the singer’s hip. From the hip he slid it upwards, under the slim fitting white t-shirt Ichigo had worn to bed, over his ribs and tickled the soft creamy skin there. “What are you up to, Ich?”

The singer smirked and tilted his head back to look him in the eye. “Just seeing what you taste like in the morning.”

A tattooed brow arched upward. “And?”

Ichigo’s smirk deepened. “You taste good,” he answered before licking his lips suggestively.

“You woke up lookin’ for trouble, didn’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Renji grinned and pulled his arm back, cupping the back of Ichigo’s head. “Guess I’ll have to see what kind of trouble I can give you.”  
Ichigo smiled brightly as Renji brought their lips together. To Ichigo, it felt like every time they kissed was the first time and it was always the best first time he could have ever imagined. He couldn’t get enough of Renji’s mouth, of his taste, of the feel of the metal stud in the drummer’s tongue, of the calloused hands upon his skin. The singer leaned forward and pressed himself closer, grasping at Renji’s hip and silently begging the redhead to slide over on top of him.

Renji must have been psychic at that moment because in one fluid motion he rolled Ichigo to his back, grasped his hands and pinned them to the bed at either side of his head. Simultaneously he rolled over on top of him and straddled his hips.

Ichigo moaned into his mouth and thrust his hips upward, making Renji groan his name.

“Ichigo, wh-what are you doing to me?”

Ichigo panted beneath the larger man and wiggled his hips. “Renji,” he whispered. “Please. I want you. I need you. Just you. No one else, Ren. Please.”

Renji brushed a thumb over Ichigo’s wrist, feeling the pulse point beneath and let Ichigo’s words soak in. “Ichigo…”

 

Renji was sure of a couple of things at that moment. One, he could never say no to Ichigo. Two, there was no way he had the time to really give the beautiful panting orange haired angel lying beneath him the attention he so deserved. Renji wanted to make Ichigo scream his name, he’d just have to go about it a different way.

“Ichigo.”

The singer grunted once and shifted his hips, brushing a very sensitive area against Renji’s ass. “Nngh… R-Ren,” he moaned. “Are you gonna make me beg?”

Renji smirked and lowered his face to the tantalizing neck below. He pressed soft kisses there before nibbling at the sensitive skin behind Ichigo’s ear making the singer moan his name again. Suddenly releasing his hold on Ichigo’s wrists Renji sat up and slid both hands under the singer’s t-shirt. Warm palms brushed over firm muscle as Renji’s arms pushed the shirt up.

Ichigo took the hint and quickly tugged it over his head before tossing it away. He lay back down and watched as Renji’s eyes took him in.

The redhead gazed hungrily at the sight underneath him. At Ichigo’s bare torso laid out just for him. He saw the lightly tanned skin that had yet to be covered by an artist’s needle and the multicolored skin that had already been done. Slowly… oh so slowly Renji touched the warm flesh, tracing over the memorial tattoo of the beautiful Masaki, Ichigo’s mother, on his left arm. Fingers danced over the small intricately drawn kanji of his sister’s names on his collarbone. Gently, he touched the multicolored dragon that twisted and turned across Ichigo’s right pectoral, running his fingertips softly down the skin before moving outwards to touch the thick black tribal work on his forearms that was so similar to Renji’s own. He took is all in with his eyes, with his touch and memorized every inch. With the lightest touch he could manage, Renji lifted both of Ichigo’s hands and brought the skin of his arms to his lips where he kissed and suckled. “You are so beautiful, Ichigo. Every part of you.”

Ichigo sucked in a shaky breath. Seeing Renji take such reverence with his body was beyond sweet. Beyond touching. It brought forth an emotion he hadn’t really felt in a long time. “Renji… I… I love you,” he whispered.

Renji closed his eyes and lowered one of Ichigo’s arms. “You do?”  
Ichigo nodded and used his free hand to brush a strand of hair behind Renji’s ear. “I do. Very much.”

Renji leaned into his touch and opened his eyes to look down at Ichigo. “I love you too, Ichigo.”

Both smiled and Ichigo reached up, grasping the sides of Renji’s face and ever-so-gently pulled him down on top of him again. They kissed with a fierce passion, trying to imprint their desire onto the other. Renji explored the cavern of Ichigo’s mouth before diving lower to nip and suck on his neck. Ichigo buried his hands within the silkiest hair he’d ever felt and held Renji to him. He grasped the long hair within his fists and begged for more. “Please, Ren.”

Smirking to himself, Renji moved on, kissing and licking lower and lower until he was scraping his teeth teasingly along a very well defined stomach muscle. Running a finger along the waistband of the baggy shorts Ichigo slept in, his smirk deepened as Ichigo twitched with desire.

Ichigo bucked his hips and scratched at Renji’s scalp making the redhead moan against the singer’s bared stomach. “Y-yes, more,” Ichigo moaned.

Renji raised his head and gazed into Ichigo’s wide eyes as he slid a hand beneath the fabric of his shorts and grasped what he found there.

Ichigo moaned again, louder and moved his body along with Renji’s ministrations. “Oh, God… R-Ren, y-yes.”

Renji slid his palm along Ichigo’s length and teased the now-sweating man beneath him. Ichigo groaned and reached for the redhead’s shoulders, pulling him up so he could attack his mouth again. “Renji.”

The drummer didn’t let him continue. He thrust his tongue into Ichigo’s mouth and won the war of dominance. Pulling away after a moment, he smirked down at Ichigo. “Know what I wanna do with you? What I wanna do _to_ you, Ich?”

Ichigo licked his lips. “Tell me.”

Not sure how much longer he could hold back from just driving straight into the angel under him, Renji ground his hips down onto Ichigo’s own. “Oh, God, Ich, I wanna fu-“

 

“Renji! Ichigo! You two awake?”

The voice brought both men up short and they stared into each other’s eyes for a several heartbeats before Renji growled deep in his chest. “Fucking Hisagi!”

The bodyguard was knocking on the door and calling out to them and it was obvious he wasn’t going away. Ichigo closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying desperately to get control of his body.

Renji mumbled something along the lines of ‘asshole bodyguards’ and rolled off the bed. “I’m sorry, Ich.”

Ichigo lay flat on his back; arms outstretched to either side and sighed. “Don’t apologize, Ren. It’s not your fault.”

“That asshole has the worst fucking timing.”

Ichigo grinned and sat up in a flash, encircling Renji’s neck with his arms and pulled the redhead in for a deep kiss. “Guess the timing just wasn’t right.”

Renji nodded and ran his hands through his hair, wincing as he felt a tangle. “Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll see what Dickhead wants.”

Ichigo nodded and dropped his arms; pressing another quick kiss to the man he loved and moved off into the bathroom.

Renji watched him go and sighed heavily before moving to the door and yanking it open.

Hisagi, who’d been standing in the hall, took a step back after seeing the look on Renji’s face. “Uh… sorry to wake you.”  
The drummer scowled.

“I need everyone to meet up in Grimm’s room as soon as possible.”  
Renji frowned. “What is it? Has something happened?”

Hisagi shook his head. “Nothing major. I just need to tell you guys some things and it’ll be easier with everyone in one room. Where’s Ichigo?”

“In the shower.”

The dark haired bodyguard arched an eyebrow “I see. Well, let him know.”

Renji nodded. “I will. Give us ten minutes.”


	15. Track 15

**Track 15**

 

Grimm, who was the image of comfort, was sitting on his bed, back against the headboard with his ankles crossed and hands held loosely in his lap. As soon as Renji and Ichigo had walked in, both with damp hair, a wide Cheshire grin had spread across his face. “So, Ren, what took you two so long?”

Renji shot him a glare with a hint of a smile, flipped him a strong middle finger and while holding it there for a few seconds to make his point clear, dropped down to sit at the foot of the bed.

“Have fun, Itch?”

Ichigo glared back in annoyance but the glare quickly turned good natured. “Fuck off, Grimm.”

The guitarist barked out a laugh and held his hands up in mock surrender. “Alright. I’ll keep out of it.”

Ichigo smirked at him before sitting next to Renji. “So what’s this about, Hisagi?”

The dark haired bodyguard, who had been standing near the wall watching their interaction with silent humor, took a step forward and cleared his throat. “I had a long talk with Urahara last night.”

Ichigo wasn’t surprised so he simply nodded.

“I got him up to date on everything that’s happened including the call you got.”

Renji reached over and took one of Ichigo’s hands in his own. “And?”

“And needless to say he’s getting a little concerned.”

Grimm sat forward, shaking the bed slightly. “A little?”

Hisagi nodded. “He made the suggestion that you guys might want to consider cancelling your Chicago show.”

The sheer volume of noise that suddenly struck the room was nearly overwhelming. All four members of the band shouted their displeasure at the mere thought of cancelling the show they’d all been looking forward to. Renji had stood up and had almost gotten into Hisagi’s face about it but his self control had held him back and he simply stood there refusing the very idea.  
Toshiro, who’d been sitting quietly at the desk, simply shook his head.

Grimm, just being himself, shouted an imaginative stream of four letter obscenities, shaking his head and glaring at Hisagi. He ended it all with a vicious, “There is no fucking way!”

Ichigo had been the first to deny the idea by standing up, staring at his bodyguard and yelling. “What?! Are you serious?”  
Hisagi simply stood there and let them all get their anger worked out of their systems.

Ichigo refused. He simply refused to let his crazy fan take something so special away from him. “We’re not cancelling the show, Hisagi.”

The bodyguard sighed and ran both hands through his hair. “I know. Guys, come on, give me some credit, okay?”  
The band stopped and stared.

“I already know that you four won’t cancel and I told Urahara as much. Look, Ganju, Ikkaku and I may not have been here very long but I’ve been a fan of your band for years. I know you guys wouldn’t disappoint your fans like that. Especially your hometown fans. It’s a suggestion and a recommendation, not a demand.”

Hisagi’s words seemed to bring the tension in the room down considerably.

“Urahara made the suggestion and I have to admit that I do agree with him but like I said I knew you guys wouldn’t go along with it.”

Ichigo took a deep breath sat back down, staring at the carpet between his feet.

“Ich? You okay?” Renji asked, sitting next to him.

The singer nodded. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

“About?”

Ichigo sighed and looked up at his boyfriend. “We can’t cancel the show, Ren. I can’t let her win like that.”

Renji smiled. “Of course not. We’re not going to let that crazy bitch control any part of our lives, Ich. We’re going home andwe’re going to rock hard and your bodyguards are going to keep you safe.”

“And you too.”

The smile dropped to a small frown. “You’re the priority, Ich.”

Grimm rolled off the bed with cat-like grace and went to stand next to Ichigo, staring down at the pair. “Fuck. That. You’re just as important, Renji. Right, Bodyguard?”

Hisagi arched an eyebrow at the blue haired man.

Grimm arched one right back at him mockingly. “Right, Kevin Costner?”

Hisagi exhaled through his nose, obviously trying to control himself. “Yes. We’re not forgetting the threat against Renji.”

Ichigo laughed. “Kevin Costner?”

Grimm smirked. “Yeah, you know, he was in that one movie.”

Renji and Toshiro both joined in with the laughter. “That’s pretty good, Grimm.”

The guitarist shot them all an evil looking grin while Hisagi simply shook his head.

Toshiro, who was always the quiet one of the group, cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. “So it’s decided then? We’re heading home with the same plans we’ve had? To play the show, right?”

Ichigo nodded. “Yes. Absolutely. I refuse to let her ruin our final show of the tour like that. We’ve all been looking forward to getting back home and playing live for our families and friends.”

“And fifteen thousand other people,” Grimm added.

“Them too. I won’t let her get away with that. The show has been sold out for months. We’re going home and we’re gonna play our best show yet.”

Renji sat on the bed, thigh to thigh with the man he loved, and watched Ichigo’s face as he spoke. Ichigo’s unwavering tenacity was one of the things he loved most. The simple fact was that once the orange haired man set his mind to something he would never give up on it. It was a very endearing quality, at least to Renji, even if it could be incredibly frustrating. “What about after the show?”

Hisagi turned his attention to the redheaded drummer. “Ikkaku and I will still be around. Ganju has another assignment lined up so he’ll be heading out after the show ends but we should be able to cover you guys with no problem once the tour is over. We won’t have the crew and all of the equipment and the trucks and everything else to worry about anymore.”  
Renji nodded. “So you’ll be going home with us?”

“Probably. At least until something happens.”

Ichigo frowned. “Something happens? What do you mean?”

“Well, the reason we’re here is obviously to keep you safe from your stalker but if there had been any real threats against you, and by real I mean obviously dangerous threats, then the police would have been brought in a long time ago. She’s never tried to hurt you so the cops couldn’t do anything even if they wanted to.”

“But you think she’s going to try now?” Renji asked.

“I think it’s possible.”

Ichigo sat quiet for a moment, thinking about everything that was happening. “Okay,” he finally said. “Sounds good to me then.”  
Grimm stared down at the couple sitting right next to each other on the end of the bed and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good. We’re going home.”

 

Home. Ichigo had been thinking about it for months and now it was so close he could almost feel it. They had several hours to ride on the bus to get there but he knew that within a couple of days he’d be back in the city he loved more than any other place on the planet. The sights, sounds, smells… the feel of one of the largest cities in America was something he’d missed almost more than anything. His sisters and his dad were there, waiting for him to get home so they could smother him in hugs and kisses. He could already taste Yuzu’s home cooking. Could already hear his father’s inane ramblings about his wonderful beautiful family. The very thought of them brought a wide happy smile to his face.

Renji, who had always been good at reading Ichigo’s face, smiled back at him. “Just a couple of days, Ich and we’ll be there.”  
The singer nodded. “I know, Ren. I can’t wait. Do you have big plans for when we get back?”

The drummer shook his head. “Not really. I’ll visit my aunt and uncle of course but that’s pretty much it.”

“And you’re going to come home with me, right? To see my dad and sisters?”

Renji turned his face and looked into Ichigo’s chocolate brown eyes. “Are you inviting me to dinner?”

Ichigo grinned. “They already know you of course but I thought I could introduce you as my boyfriend. Let them know that we’re together now?”

The drummer returned the grin. “That sounds great, Ichigo. I’d like that.”

Ichigo nodded again and grasped Renji’s hand in his own. “Me too, Ren. Me too.”

Home. Ichigo was excited to get there but at the same time he was nervous. There was an ominous overcast to it all. As if She was already there. Waiting. For him. For Renji. A shiver travelled down his spine, making him tremble slightly and suddenly home didn’t sound as inviting as it had earlier.


	16. Track 16 -

**Track 16**

 

The street outside the high-rise loft apartment building was always bustling with people. One of Chicago’s most well known roads was a hive of activity and it was just another day in the Windy City as she stood on the sidewalk, staring up at the multi-million dollar building that several of the city’s wealthiest called home. Cars sped by while they could, then stopped with drivers honking impatiently as traffic backed up at stop lights. She noticed none of it. All noise was muffled from the ear buds in her ears. Reaching into her pocket she pulled her finger along the track pad and turned up the volume, listening to the voice she had long ago fallen into deep love with.

_Are we so alone,_   
_So distant,_   
_So forgotten,_   
_As we think ourselves to be?_

_These are our lives_   
_But did they ever even matter?_   
_Are we worth remembering?_

People in the city always seemed to be in haste, running here and there, trying to get their errands and chores done for the day. It was something she’d never really understood as she wasn’t originally from a big city. Life was meant to be enjoyed and cherished, not rushed and harried. It was much like love.

Love.

The word made her slight smile falter as she stood on the sidewalk staring up at the side of the building that was banked with tall windows.

He lived there. Somewhere up there beyond those windows was the place he called home. The place he probably felt safe and protected. His own inner sanctum.

_These machines feed on the tears_   
_of broken lives and dying dreams_   
_We’re throwing wrenches in the gears_   
_Our lives will not be lived in vain_

_When this is all said and done_   
_We spent this life on the run_   
_Judged by the company we keep_

_Our language, buried inside_   
_These lungs that keep us alive_   
_We breathe so selfishly_

The slight smile spread once more as she thought of what she was going to do. He was coming. They all were, she knew, for their concert at the arena but she wasn’t concerned with all of them. Just him.  
He would pay for breaking her heart.

_Promises we plan to break_   
_Are made in whispered voices_   
_Cause our despair knows many names_

_We make mistakes_   
_But we apologize with roses_   
_we never stop to smell along the way_

Turning away from the building she fell in with the pedestrian traffic and headed down the sidewalk. There were things she needed to do before he got into town. Things that had to be ready before she could surprise him. She hadn’t spoken to Ichigo since she’d discovered his infidelity. She hadn’t called him and he hadn’t tried to contact her but she could understand that. He was guilty of his crimes and she knew it. He knew it. Somewhere deep down inside of her she hoped that they’d be able to work through their problems but something else gnawed at her and screamed within her that it was a false hope.

Ichigo had changed since becoming so successful. He’d once been a selfless man; concerned only with his family and friends and their happiness. Now that he was a rock star he was selfish and vain and egotistical and that she could no longer stand. Of course, she knew why he’d changed and it angered her. Infuriated her to no end that he’d allowed it to happen.

_These machines feed on the tears_   
_of broken lives and dying dreams_   
_We’re throwing wrenches in the gears_   
_Our lives will not be lived in vain_

_When this is all said and done_   
_We spent this life on the run_   
_Judged by the company we keep_

_Our language, buried inside_   
_These lungs that keep us alive_   
_We breathe so selfishly_

She couldn’t help but happily imagine the look on Ichigo’s face when he saw her. He would be shocked that she had taken the initiative to come to him. Maybe that simple act would cause him to realize the error of his ways. Maybe he would then understand how good she was for him instead of simply taking her love for granted. ‘Yes,’ she thought, ‘he will love me again.’

Continuing down the sidewalk she turned the volume up just a little higher and listened to the inflections of his voice as Ichigo sang to her. He had such a beautiful voice. It wasn’t overly deep, nor was it high pitched. It flowed from him as natural as could be; soft and tender one moment, growling and angry the next.

_We fell from the sky today_   
_We melt into balls of clay_   
_We sell ourselves everyday_   
_Don’t tell me how to live this way_

_Pushed so far to the edge_   
_We teeter just on the brink_   
_You can lead me to the bloodbath_   
_But you can’t make me drink_

_As these machines feed on the tears_  
 _of broken lives and dying dreams_  
 _We’re throwing wrenches in the gears_  
 _Our lives will not be lived in vain_  
_My life will not be lived in vain_

It took her several minutes to walk to the shop she’d researched but the walk had been good for her. It had cleared her head from the nasty thoughts she’d been having. Spotting the storefront she was looking for, she moved towards the door and pulled it open as the song came to an end. Ichigo was coming home, to the city he loved and she was going to be ready for him when he got there.


	17. Track 17  -

**Track 17**

 

“Good morning Chicago! It’s a beautiful day outside and it’s going to be a beautiful day inside our studio. We’ve got none other than A Hollow Life coming in to see us sometime this morning. They’re playing the United Center tonight at nine o’clock. It’s been sold out for months and I know its going to be a phenomenal show. Trust me; those boys know how to rock.”

Grimm barked out a laugh as he turned up the radio. As soon as they’d been able to pick up any of Chicago’s local rock stations he’d turned off the TV and flipped on the stereo. “These fucking radio guys crack me the fuck up.”

“Pretty sure that was a radio girl, Grimm,” Renji joked.

“Whatever. Not like it matters to you anyway, right, Ren?

A tattooed brow arched upwards before he grinned and shrugged one muscled shoulder.

“That’s what I thought.”

Much earlier in the day the anxiety in the air had been almost palpable. After their meeting in Grimm’s room the band had been in a serious rush to get on the road so they’d grabbed breakfast from the hotel and loaded up onto the bus in record time. Kenny had been ready and had them steered toward home before they’d even had a chance to sit down. Now, hours later, Ichigo was stretched out on the bench back in the Sanctum with his notebook braced on his bent knees. A mechanical pencil was clenched between his teeth and his fingers unconsciously tapped out a rhythm on his thigh as he thought about what he was trying to say with the lyrics he was writing.

Grimm was slouched down in the chair and Renji was on his back, lying on the floor with his arms crossed behind his head. They’d been watching a movie, their eyes glued to the television while some horror flick played, until Grimm had spotted some familiar landmark flash by the window. He’d had the movie off and the radio tuned in within seconds. Ichigo glanced over at them and smirked. “Hey, where’s Tosh?”

“Sulking in the kitchen,” Grimm answered.

“Why?”

The guitarist glanced over to Ichigo and scowled. “How the fuck should I know?”

Ichigo shrugged and let the matter drop. He’d noticed that Toshiro had been quiet lately, more so than usual even. He’d wanted to ask if anything was bothering the smaller man but he didn’t. He had a sinking suspicion that it had something to do with Karin but he wasn’t really interested in getting involved with his baby sister’s love life. Ichigo had eventually decided that whether or not the young couple was having relationship troubles was none of his business. He was concerned of course but unless Toshiro himself mentioned something Ichigo wasn’t going to bring it up.

Another line came to him and Ichigo quickly snatched the pencil from his mouth and scribbled it down. “What are you working on, Ich?” Renji asked from his spot on the floor.

Ichigo turned his head and smiled. “New song.”

“Can I see?”

“No.”

Renji frowned. “What? Why not?”

“Because it’s not done yet and because it’s for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes.”

His frown disappeared and was replaced by the sweetest grin Ichigo had ever seen. “Really? You’re writing a song for me?”

Ichigo rolled his eyes playfully. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Renji sat up and slid over to lean against the bench by Ichigo’s legs. “That’s really cool, Ich. Thanks.”

Ichigo laughed. “Don’t thank me yet babe. It could totally suck.”

The drummer turned his head and looked into Ichigo’s eyes. “You’ve never written a bad song.”

The singer’s lips quirked up. “Thanks, Ren.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ,” Grimm growled from the other side of the small room. “You two make me sick, you know that?”

“Fuck you, Grimm,” Renji replied, looking over at the blue haired man who hadn’t even glanced over at them. “You’re the onethat wouldn’t let it drop before. Kept pushing both of us to ‘recognize our feelings’ and now that we’re together you’re gonna give us shit?”

Grimm stayed slouched down in the chair but he turned his attention to the couple. “Hell yeah! I didn’t know you two were going to all lovey-dovey all the fucking time.”

“Fuck you, Grimm. You’re just jealous.”

“Jealous?!? Of you two? You fucking wish!”

Ichigo smiled at their antics and shook his head in amusement.

The next few hours were mostly filled with laughs and goodhearted teasing. Renji had gotten up off the floor and had basically picked Ichigo up, laid down in his spot and set the smaller man back down in his lap. The entire scenario was fine with Ichigo. He slid farther down between Renji’s legs and rested his head the redhead’s well muscled chest.

Toshiro wandered in sometime later and sat down silently. Ichigo kept noticing that he seemed nervous but didn’t mention it out loud. The white haired man’s attitude was getting more than a little annoying. They were all brothers, basically, and had never really kept secrets from one another. Ichigo’s situation with Renji was a different story, but they’d always been honest about everything else. Ichigo couldn’t understand why Toshiro would be hiding something from them now. He made a mental note to ask the guy what his deal was later.

The bus rolled down the tollway and Kenny’s booming voice came across the interior speakers just before Grimm was about to pounce on Renji and therefore Ichigo for some smart assed comment the drummer had mumbled. The guitarist came to an abrupt halt and grinned. “Coming up on the city real soon boys. Just thought I’d let you know.”

The singer lifted his head from Renji’s chest and quickly scrambled to his feet. He’d been extremely comfortable sitting against the drummer’s chest but knowing that he was so close to seeing that famous skyline wiped all other thoughts from Ichigo’s mind. He rushed to the nearest window and couldn’t help but smile.

Early morning fog rolled off of the lake and blanketed the city. The upper half of the tallest buildings were impossible to see through the thickest of it but the rest twinkled beyond the misty grey light. “Ahh look at that,” Renji said, stretching before he walked up behind Ichigo and wrapped his arms around his waist. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Ichigo sighed happily and leaned back into the drummer’s chest. “It’s amazing.”

Renji pressed a soft kiss to the skin behind Ichigo’s ear and nuzzled his hair. “We’re finally home.”

Grimm sidled up next to them and whistled. “Damn. It feels good to be back here.”

“I agree,” Toshiro added quietly, moving up to stand at the window.

“So what’s the plan when we finally stop?”

Ichigo turned his head to the side and looked up at Grimm. “We’re probably headed to the arena. From there we should be heading to do that morning radio show. I think we’re supposed to perform too.”

Grimm pursed his lips and shrugged. “Figures. What song are we doing?”

Ichigo shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“Something acoustic probably. That’s always easiest.”

Renji smiled. “Sweet. That means I get a break.”

Ichigo chuckled. “I spose so.”

Grimm had his mouth open to no doubt say something smart assed but Toshiro turned his head to look at Ichigo. “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?”

The singer quirked an eyebrow and nodded. “Sure.”

Renji dropped his arms and stepped away. “Come on Grimm.”

“What? Why do we have to leave?”

Toshiro glared at him. “I asked to speak to Ichigo, asshole. Now go.”

After the door was shut behind the two men Ichigo turned to Toshiro and crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s going on, Tosh? You’ve been acting strange for the past couple of days.”

The bassist stared at the floor for a moment before he sighed and reached into his pocket. “It’s about your sister.”

 

“I figured,” Ichigo replied, watching the smaller man pull a small box out.

“I want to ask her to marry me.”

Ichigo’s eyes went wide and his arms fell to his sides as Toshiro pulled the box open revealing a sparkling diamond ring. “Jesus Fuck, Toshiro!”

The bassist jumped. “I’m…”

“You scared the shit outta me man! I thought you were about to dump her and was afraid I’d get all pissed off about it.”

“What? Oh no. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell you first or if I should ask her first. I finally decided that I wanted you to know so you could voice any opposition you might have.”

Ichigo laughed. “Opposition? Fuck, Tosh. You two were made for each other. Go. Be happy. You have my blessing. Just watch out for our dad. He’s a little crazy you know.”

Toshiro nodded and slid the box back in his pocket. “I know but I don’t care. I love her and I’ve missed her so much. You have no idea how lucky you are, Ichigo.”

“What do you mean?”

The bassist rolled his eyes. “You have Renji right here with you all the time. You don’t have to leave him behind.”

“You could bring her, you know. None of us would ever object.”

Toshiro shook his head. “No, she’s too busy. I’d never ask her to pull her away from her education like that.”

Ichigo stared down at the shorter man and grinned. “You’re good people, Toshiro. She’s lucky to have you and you’re lucky to have her.”

“I know.”

“So why’d you make Ren & Grimm leave?”

“I wanted to tell you first.”

Ichigo nodded. “Well stop worrying so much. You know she’ll say yes.”

“I hope so.”

“No hoping. She will. She’s crazy about you. Now call the other two back in so you can tell them.”

Twenty minutes later the bus was merging into the city and the four musicians were anxiously waiting for the vehicle to stop at their destination. Toshiro was packing his bag back up, pausing occasionally to rub his sore bicep where Grimm and Renji had both punched him after learning his big awe-inspiring secret. They’d laughed about it but their amusement hadn’t stopped the arm-wounding violence. Toshiro had told them he probably wouldn’t be able to pick up his bass because of it and Grimm had uttered a simple “Suck it up, Pussy.”

When the bus turned onto Damen Avenue and began to slow down, all four guys looked out the window at the bustling metropolis around them. Chicago was one of the most beautiful cities in the world, at least in the band’s mind. It was where old met new and blended perfectly. Where brand new shiny cars drove under rusty overpasses and where destitute homeless walked next to corporate executives down crowded sidewalks.

The arena came into view and Kenny slowly pulled the bus into its designated spot. Ichigo was pulling open the door to the driver’s area before the bus came to a complete stop. Hisagi sat in the chair next to Kenny and the bodyguard turned to face Ichigo as the singer stepped through. “What’s up, Ichigo? You need something?”

“How long are we waiting here before we go to the radio station?”

“A limo is on the way to pick you guys up. Ikkaku is going to ride with you. You guys being gone will give us plenty of time to get the security check done. As soon as you’re finished there you can come back here and head straight inside.”

The info sounded good to Ichigo and he nodded his understanding. “Thanks Hisagi.”

A black stretch limousine pulled up to the loading dock less than ten minutes later and the band was loaded into it within minutes. Renji and Ichigo sat side by side, leaning into each other and holding hands while Grimm and Toshiro sat across from them and teased the couple endlessly about their recently discovered cuddly nature. All four men watched the city roll by as they drove to the radio station that wasn’t too far from the arena. The radio inside the limo was tuned to the station and every twenty minutes or so the DJ would proclaim that ‘A Hollow Life will be in studio today!’ Her obvious excitement made Grimm roll his eyes in annoyance and mutter something along the lines of ‘She probably has a face for radio.’

The band was swept into the station by Ikkaku as soon as they pulled up outside and after a very short five minute wait they were ushered into the studio where they came face to face with a very excited morning radio host. She introduced herself and her crew and before the band could even reply the show was back on the air and they were being introduced to the city.

“Welcome back to the show everyone. This is Rangiku and you’re listening to Q101. I told you they’d be here and ladies and gentleman, right now we have one of the hottest bands in music today sitting right here in our studio. A Hollow Life is back in their hometown to perform tonight at the United Center. Say hello to your adoring audience, Gentleman.”

All four leaned in to get closer to their mics and a medley of ‘Hello’s’ rang out.

“Its great to have you guys here. For those that don’t know, the show is tonight at nine but if you don’t have tickets already then you’re S.O.L. cuz this show has been sold out since it was originally announced. Are you guys excited?”

“Hell yeah,” Grimm said.

“Am I going to be lucky enough to hear you guys do a song for me today?”

Ichigo smiled. “I think we can probably do that.”

Rangiku smiled back. “Great! Then we’re going to take a small break and let these gorgeous men set up. When we come back we’ll have A Hollow Life performing live in studio.”

She pressed several buttons on her control board and the ON AIR sign went dark.

Ichigo cleared his throat and turned to face Renji who’d stood next to him. “I finished that song.”

The redhead turned and looked confused for a moment before it clicked in his mind. “You did?”

“I did.”

“Are you going to sing it here?”

“I am.”

Renji smiled and leaned in to press a chaste kiss to Ichigo’s lips. “I love you, Ich,” he whispered.

“Love you too,” Ichigo whispered back before turning away. “Is there a guitar around here? I don’t have mine.”

Grimm thrust one towards him and smirked. “You doing this by yourself?”

Ichigo nodded. “I wrote a new song for Renji and I want to sing it. You don’t mind, do you?”

The guitarist scoffed. “Fuck no. Have at it.”

“Thanks man.”

Ichigo turned back to the DJ and noticed her wide eyed stare. She stood in place with her mouth gaped open and he frowned. “Are you okay?”

“You just kissed your drummer.”

Renji smiled. “Actually, his drummer kissed him, but I spose it’s more or less the same thing.”

Her eyes darted between Ichigo and Renji and her mouth opened and closed in a very good impersonation of a fish out of water. “Are you two together?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Renji answered.

“Wow. I-I didn’t know you were gay.”

Ichigo shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“No!,” she half-shouted. “No, not at all. It’s just a surprise. I’m happy for you two. You haven’t announced it yet, though, have you? I’d know if you did.”

“No, not yet. It’s sorta new so we’d appreciate it if…”

“Don’t worry!” she interrupted. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“Thanks,” Ichigo replied. “How much time do we have before we’re back on air?”

Rangiku glanced at her computer. “30 seconds. You’re playing acoustic?”

“Yes. That okay?”

She smiled at him. “It’s great. Go ahead and get situated and I’ll get you cued in.”

Ichigo pulled up a stool and sat down in front of one of the microphones and waited while his three band mates sat around him. Seconds later the sign came on and Rangiku started talking. Ichigo watched her work and couldn’t help but smirk as he remembered Grimm’s comment in the limo. She definitely did not have a face for radio. Ichigo would be surprised if the guitarist didn’t hit on her before they left. If the singer batted for that team he’d find her attractive. The only off-putting thing about her, besides her monstrous breasts, was her long red hair. It was far too similar to his stalkers.

“I mentioned it before the break and I wasn’t kidding. We’ve got A Hollow Life in studio and they’re going to perform live for us right now. Ichigo, are you ready?”

He smiled and leaned into the mic. “Sure am.”

“What song are you doing for me today?”

The singer looked over at Renji and smiled. “It’s new. I just wrote on the way into the city.”

“Well alright!” She said happily. “Let’s hear it!”

Ichigo positioned the guitar on his lap and strummed a chord before smiling at Renji. “I wrote it for someone special and I hope they like it.”

Renji smiled back as Ichigo began to play.

_Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?_

_Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?_  
_Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?_

_I'll show you mine if you show me yours first_  
_Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse_  
_Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words_

_We live on front porches and swing life away,_  
_We get by just fine here on minimum wage_  
_If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,_  
_I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand_

_I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move_  
_The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon_  
_Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow_

_I've got some friends, some that I hardly know_  
_But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world_  
_We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go_

_We live on front porches and swing life away,_  
_We get by just fine here on minimum wage_  
_If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,_  
_I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand_

_I'll show you mine if you show me yours first_  
_Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse_  
_Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words_

_We live on front porches and swing life away,_  
_We get by just fine here on minimum wage_  
_If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,_  
_I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand_

Ichigo sang the last line and played the last note and looked into Renji’s eyes as he did it. The drummer stared at him with a look of complete adoration for a moment before he slid off his stool and cupped Ichigo’s face between his hands. “That was amazing. Thank you, Ichigo,” he whispered softly before kissing the singer’s soft lips.

“There you have it folks,” Rangiku announced, “A brand new song by A Hollow Life written just hours ago by the very talented and very gorgeous Ichigo. Now, let’s take some calls from your adoring fans.”

Ichigo was still waving off compliments from the other three when a familiar voice came on the line and echoed across the studio speakers. “Hello Ichigo.”

The voice sent shivers down his spine and made the other three stop abruptly and stare wide eyed.

“That song was beautiful,” she whispered, “But don’t think that it’s enough to get back in my good graces. You were unfaithful

Ichigo and that is something I can never forgive.”

Renji was about to open his mouth and say something when Ikkaku burst though the studio door and signaled to Rangiku to cut the call off. She did immediately and stared at the band for a moment before looking back to the mic.” Wow. Let’s take a break, shall we?”

Ichigo sat on his stool and stared without really seeing. He felt Renji sidle up next to him and grasp his hand and it was the only thing that was keeping him grounded at that moment.

“Wow,” the DJ said after they were off the air. “Was that an ex-girlfriend or something?”

“No, a psychotic fan. We’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that call when you go back on the air,” Ikkaku answered.

“Of course. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything. It’ll be business as usual.”

“Thanks. Also, we’re going to have to cut this short. I don’t want Ichigo here any longer now that she knows where he is. I need to get him back to the arena.”

She looked crestfallen but nodded in agreement. “I understand. Well, thanks for coming in guys. I’m excited for the show tonight. I know its going to be great.”

“No problem,” Ichigo said softly.

The band was ushered out the door and out into the limo within minutes. None of them heard Rangiku go back on the air and announce the time the concert started that night. They didn’t hear how she kept her word and mentioned nothing about the creepy call. Ichigo and Renji were quiet on the ride back to the arena and Grimm and Toshiro tried to make jokes to keep the atmosphere light but all they could think about was Orihime was in town and she was getting closer to Ichigo with every minute.


	18. Track 18 -

**Track 18**

 

Ichigo had tried to not dwell on it. He’d tried to busy himself with getting ready for the show by helping out Yumichika with getting the guitars ready but every time he heard someone coming up behind him he’d practically jumped out of his skin. Yumi had immediately noticed his unease and had quietly sent him away to go sit down somewhere. Ichigo had thought about going to find Renji but eventually decided against it. He didn’t want to feel so dependent on the other man. He loved him of course and wanted to spend every minute he could with him but Ichigo wasn’t a needy person by nature. He wasn’t going to cower down and hide in the face of a threat. At least, he’d never believed that he was that type of person before. Now, with the knowledge that She was so upset with him that she would make threats against him, he couldn’t help but feel an inkling of fear. He knew Hisagi and the others were doing everything they could to keep her away but somewhere deep down inside, Ichigo believed that she would eventually get to him, or to compound his worst fear, to Renji.

Eventually he’d just gone to their dressing room and had sat in silence until Grimm had come in and flopped down next to him.

“What’s goin’ on, Itch?”

Ichigo shook his head. “Nothing.”

“You’re a terrible fucking liar, you know that?”

“I know.”

“So what is it?”

It took him a moment but the singer finally answered. “I’m kinda nervous, Grimm.”

Ichigo expected him to laugh at him but the other man simply nodded his head in understanding. “I know.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“What do you want me to say? That you’re stupid for worrying about it? Then I’d be the idiot. Listen, Itch, you have every right to be nervous. Shit, you have every right to be scared. I don’t blame you. None of us do. You got some crazy bitch out there thinkin’ you’re hers and she’s trying to do everything she can to get at you. Its understandable to be a little scared, Itch.”

Ichigo turned his head to the side and looked at his friend. “It just feels stupid to be so worried over a little girl.”

Grimm scoffed. “It don’t matter, Itch. It’s always the quiet ones you have to look out for, right? Those are the crazy assholes that get you when you least expect it.”

“Yeah.”

“So don’t let it get to you too much. I guess all I can say to you is to just try to put it at the back of your mind and don’t dwell on it. It’ll drive you fucking crazy if you do.”

Ichigo nodded and sighed heavily. “This sucks.”

Grimm laughed and ran a hand through his wild hair. “You ain’t kiddin’ bro.”

Several hours later, after another security patrol and the sound checks were complete, energy started to fill the arena as it began to fill with anxious fans. The band could feel it as the arena floor started to fill with people. The four musicians were standing back stage, off to the side, as stage hands scrambled to get the finishing touches of the show complete. “You guys ready for this?”

Ichigo recognized the voice and immediately turned to face the man he hadn’t seen face to face in months. “Kisuke!”

The tall blonde, wearing a tailored gray suit, smiled widely and walked up to the group. “Hi there.”

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it or not. We hadn’t heard from you.”

“I’ve been a little busy but I’m here now. How are you, Ichigo? Shuuhei has kept me abreast of what’s been happening with yourlittle pest of a fan.”

Ichigo smirked. “Yeah. I’m alright.”

Kisuke nodded and turned his attention to the other guys. “Everybody ready for this?”

Grimm clapped the blonde on the back. “We’re always ready for this.”

Renji smiled. “Its gonna be a good show, Kisuke. Count on it.”

“I have no doubt, Renji. Toshiro, you’re being too quiet over there.”

The bassist grinned. “Sorry, Kisuke. I’m here and ready to play.”

“He’s got other things on his mind.”

Toshiro turned to glare at Grimm and punched him in the arm. “Shut up, Grimm.”

Kisuke laughed and turned back to Ichigo. “Where is Shuuhei?”

Ichigo pointed over to the bodyguard who was standing near the stage, watching the crowd as it filtered into the arena.

Kisuke nodded. “Well, excuse me boys, I need to talk to him for a bit.”

Their manager walked off towards the bodyguard before any of them could reply.

Ichigo was about to say something when Renji’s drum tech, Rikichi, jogged up to the redhead and drug him away to make sure his kit was setup to his specifications. Renji rolled his eyes before following the shorter man. The tech knew exactly what he was doing and had never messed up before but it never stopped him from asking Renji’s opinion before each and every show. Ichigo watched him walk away until Grimm threw an arm around his neck and jostled him around. “Stop staring at his ass, Itch.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Yeah, right. I already told you once today that you’re a terrible fucking liar.”

Ichigo shrugged out of his hold and playfully pushed him away. “Fuck off, Grimm. Don’t you have things to be doing?”

The guitarist shrugged. “Not really. Yumi got my shit together already so I’m ready to rock. You got stuff to get done?”

“Probably.”

Grimm laughed. “What about you, Tosh?”

The bassist looked up and shrugged. “I’m ready to go.”

“You two are boring as fuck. I’m gonna go grab some water. Later Ladies.”

Ichigo watched him walk away and was about to ask Toshiro if he’d talked to Karin yet but the bassist mumbled something and walked away. Ichigo rolled his eyes and turned back to the stage. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he glanced at the time and noted that their opening act should be hitting the stage within the hour and that was too much time to spend just standing backstage. Shrugging at nothing in particular, he slid the phone back in his pocket and headed back to the dressing room to wait it out. He needed to change his clothes anyway. The loose jeans and zip-up hoodie he was currently sporting wasn’t ‘front man worthy’.

Ikkaku came and found him an hour and twenty minutes later to escort him to the stage. They were about halfway there when a sound came over Ikkaku’s earpiece and the bodyguard stopped immediately. He listened intently for a second before grabbing Ichigo’s arm and rushing him back to the dressing room. Ichigo scrambled to keep up, knowing better than to try and fight against it. “What is it?” he demanded. “What’s happened?”

Ikkaku growled and practically ran the rest of the way back, pulling Ichigo the entire way.

“Dammit, Ikkaku, what the fuck is going on?”

The bodyguard stayed silent until they reached the room. He yanked open the door and unceremoniously tossed Ichigo back into it before getting on his walkie. “I’ve got him. He’s in the dressing room.”

Ichigo stood still and stared at the hairless man. “Ikkaku…”

“Shh, just give me a second, alright, Ichigo?”

The singer immediately shut his mouth and waited. A moment later another sound came from the ear piece and Ikkaku glanced up. “Someone thinks they spotted your girl somewhere in the arena. You’re to stay here with the door locked until me, Hisagi or

Ganju comes to get you. Do you got that?”

The color bleached from Ichigo’s face and he nodded, feeling strangely numb.

“Stay here, Ichigo. This isn’t a drill. Keep the door locked. One of us will be back soon.”

“Where’s Renji?!”

Ichigo’s last exclamation fell on deaf ears as Ikkaku pulled the door shut and shouted through it. “Keep the door locked, Ichigo!”

Numb fingers flicked the flimsy lock into place and he slowly backed away until his knees met the edge of a chair and he fell into it.

Minutes felt like hours and Ichigo was already prowling the room, pacing back and forth when there was a loud knock at the door. The sudden noise made him jump, embarrassing him to no end. He moved towards it quickly when Hisagi’s voice shouted out. “Ichigo? It’s me. Open the door.”

The singer unlocked the knob and pulled open the door to see the guard standing in the hallway wish flushed cheeks. “Is everything…?”

“Everything’s fine. We think it was a false alarm. One of the arena security guys thought they saw her but it wasn’t. Sorry.”

Ichigo sighed. “You’re sure?”

Hisagi nodded. “Yeah. You ready to go?”

“Of course. Why are you all red?”

“I’ve been running around this place for the last twenty minutes and then I ran all the way here.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry if Ikkaku scared you at all. He said he kinda drug you down the hall.”

Ichigo shrugged. “It’s alright. I understand. He was just doing his job.”

“Yeah. Still sorry. Come on, I’ll walk you up. Your opening act is just finishing up. We had them play a few extra songs while we were searching and the stage hands are ready to get you guys in place.”

Ichigo moved out into the hall and nodded. “Where are the other guys?”

“Ikkaku has Renji with him. He was our other priority of course. Grimm and Toshiro were just offstage the last I saw of them. They’re waiting for you.”

Ichigo nodded and followed the dark haired man down the hallway. He wanted to see Renji. Needed to see him to make sure the redhead was okay.

As soon as they turned the final corner and Ichigo saw his band mates standing together he exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and rushed to Renji. The drummer saw him coming and smiled. “Hey…”

He grunted as Ichigo practically flung himself into the larger man’s arms. “Ich?”

Ichigo clung to him, half embarrassed at his reaction but not really caring. “I’m sorry. I just had to make sure you were okay.”

Renji held tightly and breathed him in. “I’m okay, Ich. Everything’s okay. It was a false alarm.”

Slowly pulled away. “I know but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t worried.”

“I know.”

Grimm stepped forward and clapped Ichigo on the back. “It’s all good, Itch.”

“Yeah.”

Toshiro stepped forward and touched the singer’s arm. “We’re all okay, Ichigo. Renji’s fine. Now let’s focus on going out there and giving this crowd the best show we can.”

The smaller man’s words seemed to click in the singer’s brain and he immediately straightened up and stepped back. “You’re right. I’m not going to worry about her right now. Let’s do this.”

“Fuck ya,” Grimm agreed.

“Damn straight,” Renji said.

 

 

Ichigo could feel the pulse of the crowd beating within his own chest. The arena was packed with the sold out crowd and the air was electrified with excitement. He took a deep breath and held it for a moment, relishing the feeling. The opening act had done their job well and the crowd was hyperactive, screaming and shouting for A Hollow Life to hit the stage. Ichigo stood to stage left with Toshiro while Grimm was on stage right, ready to enter under the cover of darkness. Renji was in place, sitting behind his kit, ready to go when the time was right. Usually they just walked on stage while the lights were on, took their places and started the show but since they were playing for a hometown crowd they decided to play things up a bit.

The lights went down and the stage hands rushed to get everything in place before the band moved onto the stage and stood in the pitch black arena. The crowd hummed with anticipation as Toshiro opened the song with a few strums on his bass. Renji tapped his bass pedal twice before Grimm began to play the opening chords to one of their popular songs. After a few notes a spotlight hit him, illuminating him as he bent over his guitar and played. Hearing the familiar music always sent the crowd on alert and now the noise was deafening as the audience recognized that the main show was beginning. A second spotlight hit Toshiro as he plucked a few notes while a third lit Renji. At the exact same moment all three stopped playing and the spotlights went down before Grimm ripped another chord and the lights came on full force. Colored lights flashed across the audience while the giant screen behind them flashed the band’s logo. A full spectrum of stage lights hit the stage, shining on the stars of the evening. The crowd screamed and writhed as Ichigo came into view and began to sing.

_Somewhere between happy, and total fucking wreck_   
_Feet sometimes on solid ground, sometimes at the edge_   
_To spend your waking moments, simply killing time_   
_Is to give up on your hopes and dreams, to give up on your..._

_Life for you has been less than kind_   
_So take a number, stand in line_   
_We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt_   
_But how we survive, is what makes us who we are_

_An obvious disinterest, a barely managed smile_   
_A deep nod in agreement, a status quo exile_   
_I shirk my obligations, I miss all your deadlines_   
_I excel at quitting early, and fucking up my life_

It could have been just his imagination but Ichigo looked out along the crowd and couldn’t help but feel like he was among only friends. The worries and stress he’d felt earlier were washed away with the reaction of the audience in front of him. People sang and danced in place while he played and sang the music he loved.

_Life for you has been less than kind_   
_So take a number, stand in line_   
_We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt_   
_But how we survive, is what makes us who we are_

_All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day_   
_Everything always works out, I have never felt so fucking great_   
_All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day_   
_Everything always works out, I have never felt so great_

Grimm leaned into his mic and sang his backup vocals, glancing at Ichigo and smiling. Ichigo smiled back and sang out with everything he had. To his right, Ichigo saw Toshiro looking more active than he usually did. He was smiling and jumping as he played, showing off to the crowd that was loving every bit of it.

_Life isn't like this_   
_Life isn't like this_   
_Are we verging on an answer,_   
_or fucking up our..._

_Life for you has been less than kind_   
_So take a number, stand in line_   
_We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt_   
_But how we survive, is what makes us who we are_

_Who we are_   
_It's what makes us who we are_   
_Who we are_   
_Makes us who we are_   
_Who we are_   
_It's what makes us who we are_   
_Who we are_

The song came to and end and Ichigo took a breath, waving out to the crowd. “Whew! How’s that for an opening number?”  
The crowd screamed an answer and Ichigo smiled. “Thank for coming out everybody. This is the last show of the tour and we couldn’t be happier to be playing it here in our hometown. We love you Chicago!”  
The response was deafening and the band immediately jumped into the next song.

_Suffering from something_   
_We’re not sure of_   
_In a world_   
_There is no cure for_   
_These lives we live test negative for happiness_   
_Flat line, no pulse, but eyes open_   
_Single file like soldiers on a mission_   
_If there’s no war outside our heads_   
_Why are we losing?_

_I don’t ask for much_   
_Truth be told I’d settle_   
_For a life less frightening_   
_A life less frightening_

_Hang me out to dry_  
 _I’m soaking_  
 _With the sins of knowing_  
_What’s gone wrong_  
_But doing nothing_  
 _I still run_  
 _Time again I have found myself stuttering_  
 _Foundations pulled out from under me_  
 _This breath is wasted on them all_  
 _Will someone answer me?_

_I don’t ask for much_   
_Truth be told I’d settle_   
_For a life less frightening_   
_A life less frightening_

Toshiro and Grimm stepped up and played their part while Ichigo stood back and watched the crowd undulate with the music. He grinned to himself feeling freer than he had in a long time before moving back up the mic and screaming the next line with everything he had.

_Is there a god tonight_   
_Up in the sky_   
_Or is it empty just like me?_   
_A place where we can hide_   
_Out from the night_   
_Where you are all I see_   
_So blow a kiss goodbye_   
_Tell me what you see_   
_A lifetime spent inside this dream of mine_   
_Where you are all I see_

The band stayed on stage for two and a half hours, playing songs new and old alike and even throwing in a cover or two much to the fans’ pleasure. The crowd seemed to love every bit of it and they screamed for an encore as soon as the group left the stage. The four men stood quietly, listening to the name of their band being chanted by thousands of fans, before they took a collective breath and walked back out. Ichigo took his place at the mic, sans guitar, and smiled, making a decision on how he was going to close the show. “We want to thank you guys for coming out tonight. You’ve been great and to show our appreciation we’re going to play one last song for you before we get outta here. Its one you’re going to recognize I’m sure. We love you, Chicago. You guys are the best.”

Ichigo signaled to Grimm and the guitarist immediately began playing. Renji and Toshiro both jumped in with a rapid fire rhythm. Taking a quiet breath, Ichigo began to sing.

_In fields where nothing grew but weeds_   
_I found a flower at my feet_   
_Bending there in my direction_   
_I wrapped a hand around its stem_   
_I pulled until the roots gave in_   
_Finding there what I’d been missing_

_So I tell myself, I tell myself its wrong_   
_There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return_   
_I felt the cold rain of the coming storm_

_All because of you,_   
_I haven’t slept in so long._   
_When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean_   
_Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down_   
_I’ll follow your voice_   
_All you have to do is shout it out._

_Inside my hands these petals browned_   
_Dried up, fallen to the ground_   
_But it was already too late now_   
_I pushed my fingers through the earth,_   
_Returned this flower to the dirt_   
_So it could live. I walked away now_

_Not a day goes by that I don’t feel this burn_   
_There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return_   
_I felt the cold rain of the coming storm_

Stepping back from the mic Ichigo looked towards Renji before pulling the microphone from its stand and walking back toward the kit, looking straight into the drummer’s burgundy eyes. Renji saw him coming and looked at him questioningly. Ichigo smiled a secret smile and continued to sing, never looking away.

_All because of you I haven’t slept in so long_

_When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean_

_Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down_   
_Inside these arms of yours_

_All because of you_   
_I believe in angels_   
_Not the kind with wings_   
_No, not the kind with halos_   
_The kind that bring you home_   
_When home becomes a strange place_   
_I’ll follow your voice_   
_All you have to do is shout it out._

The song came to an end and Ichigo moved forward, stepping behind Renji’s drums to press a passionate kiss to the drummer’s lips. The cameras that had been focused on the band during the show focused on them immediately and played the scene on the jumbotrons around the arena. The crowd let out a shocked collective gasp and then the building almost shook down around them with the monstrously huge reaction of screaming and applause. Grimm and Toshiro both watched with amused expressions as the couple tried their best to not get carried away with the kiss. Ichigo wanted to rip Renji’s clothes off but knew that was going to have to wait just a little while longer.

They managed to get off stage to thundering applause only to find Kisuke standing there staring at them. Ichigo couldn’t help but blush and Renji grinned at him while squeezing his hand reassuringly. “Hey Kisuke, what’d you think of the show?”  
Their manager looked at the drummer for a moment, and then looked at Ichigo. “I think there’s something you two want to tell me.”

Ichigo’s blush deepened. “Yeah,” he started. “I…I uh, I probably should have mentioned that Renji and I are dating now, eh?”

Kisuke’s eyes widened fractionally before a wide smile broke out across his face. “Well it’s about time, boys.”

“Wh-what?” the singer exclaimed. “You’re not pissed that I just kissed him in front of all those people?”

“Not much I can do about it now, is there?” the blonde answered. “Besides, didn’t sound like the crowd minded. Seemed like they liked it. Maybe you two should make out at all of your shows. “

“Ugh,” Grimm interrupted. “Fuck that.”

Kisuke was about to say something else when a shriek interrupted him. Suddenly a raven haired ball of energy flung herself at Ichigo. “Ichigo! Why didn’t you tell us?!?”

Ichigo stepped back and smiled sheepishly at his baby sister who had flung her arms around his neck and held on tightly. “Karin. Uh, sorry?”

She let go and took a step back. “No need to be sorry. It was just a shock to see my big brother kiss the guy I thought was his best friend!”

Ichigo grabbed Renji’s hand and tugged the drummer closer, ignoring the sweat that was rolling off of both of them. “He’s still my best friend.”

“Yeah, now he’s a friend with benefits,” Grimm interjected gaining a death glare from both of the Kurosaki siblings.

Karin smiled up at her brother before giving Renji a big hug. “I’ve always liked you Renji. Take good care of him though or I’ll kick your red-haired ass.”

Renji laughed and hugged her back. “You’ve got a deal, Karin.”

“I didn’t know you were here,” Ichigo said. “Where’s Dad and Yuzu?”

“Dad had an emergency at the hospital so he couldn’t make it. He sent his love though and said he’ll see you tomorrow. I think Yuzu is somewhere talking to Jinta.”

A noise behind them pulled them apart and Toshiro stepped forward, reaching for his girlfriend’s hand and pulling her back against him. “I missed you,” he whispered.

Karin smiled brightly and kissed him. “I missed you too, Toshiro. So much.”

Backing away just slightly Toshiro cast a glance at Ichigo who nodded slightly. The bassist looked at her face and grinned. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Karin?”

The couple moved away from the group and Ichigo watched as Toshiro grasped her left hand in his and spoke softly to her. He watched as her face lit up with sublime happiness and then with shocked surprise as Toshiro pulled the jewelry box from his pocket and dropped down to one knee. He couldn’t hear the proposal but nobody could miss the shrieked acceptance. Karin practically screamed a ‘yes’. Ichigo watched happily, holding Renji’s hand, as Toshiro slid the diamond ring onto her finger and kissed her deeply.

Renji pulled Ichigo closer and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, holding him tightly. “That’s beautiful,” he said softly.  
Ichigo nodded and leaned against him. “Yeah.”

Suddenly appearing from practically nowhere, Hisagi walked up to the group and cleared his throat. “If you guys are ready to get out of here we can get you home, if that’s where you’re headed.”

Ichigo almost couldn’t believe it. He could walk out of the arena and get into the waiting car and it would actually drive him home to his apartment where he could shower in his own bathroom and sleep in his own bed. “I’m ready when Renji is.”

The drummer turned his head and looked into chocolate brown eyes. “I was thinking, Ichigo, maybe you’d want to come to my house tonight? I know we’re all looking forward to getting home and I’m sure it’s the last thing you want to hear but what if she knows where you live?”

The thought almost brought Ichigo’s happiness to a sudden halt. “You think she knows where I live?”

Renji shrugged and glanced over to Hisagi. “I don’t know but she kept getting your cell phone number. How does she do that? She obviously has information she shouldn’t.”

Hisagi took a couple of steps closer. “He’s right, Ichigo. It probably would be better for you not to go home tonight.”

Ichigo thought about it for a moment and came to the same conclusion. “You’re right.”

“Ikkaku and I can go over to your place and make sure everything’s ok. I’ll send Ganju with you tonight. He’ll keep an eye on both of you until either Ikkaku or I can join him. I seriously doubt she knows where Renji lives. You’ll be safer there.”

“Okay. Not that I mind coming over to your house anyway, Ren.”

Renji smiled. “Sounds good to me. I can think of lots of things we can do once we get there.”

“Ugh. Knock that shit off,” Grimm teased. “I don’t need to hear that.”

Both men laughed. “Then don’t listen,” Ichigo joked.

Grimm flipped them both off and turned away to talk to Kisuke.

“I’ll let Ganju know what the plan is,” Hisagi said before walking away. “Don’t go anywhere until he gets over here.”

Ichigo watched him go and leaned back against Renji’s strong body, relishing the feeling of being loved and wanted by not only the gorgeous redhead, but by his own family and friends. It was truly a great feeling. Of course, with good thoughts come the inevitable bad ones and an image of the clearly disturbed young girl that couldn’t get reality straight in her twisted brain flashed through his mind, muddling the happiness he felt. He sighed to himself, trying his best to not let her misdirected attentions get to him.

No, this night belonged to Toshiro and Karin who were taking their first steps at spending their lives together. It belonged to Grimm, who no doubt was on his way out on the town to pick up some big breasted girl at the first bar he stumbled into. Mostly though, it belonged to him and Renji who were finally going to have some time alone to do whatever they wanted. Mischievous thoughts brushed at the surface of his mind and Ichigo grinned to himself, ecstatic and anxious to get to the drummers house so they could start their evening.


	19. Track 19 -

**Track 19**

 

As soon as the band had left the stage after their encore the crowd had begun to move towards the exits. The air crackled with human energy and the push and pull became a life in and of itself. It surged and undulated as people shoved and pushed to get through. Voices all around were talking about the same thing; the kiss that had taken place between Ichigo and Renji.  
She’d been standing there, during the opening act of the concert, surprised that she wasn’t really enjoying herself. Earlier, after she’d spoken with him, she had been so angry that she had momentarily contemplated ending things with him permanently. The thought had crossed her mind ever so briefly but had disappeared just as quickly. She loved him and he loved her and no matter what challenges they were put through they would always persevere and make it through, coming out on the other end a stronger team.

Earlier in the evening, after a quick rest, she’d taken the time to get dressed up in one of her prettiest dresses; the dark blue one that he’d bought for her last Valentine’s Day, and fixed her hair in the loosely curled style she knew he loved. She’d wanted to make every effort to look as beautiful as she could for him because she knew he’d appreciate the effort. She’d prepared everything she’d gotten for his return and had left with a hop to her step, anxious to get to the arena. She wanted to meet him after the show and jump into his arms and tell him she was sorry for getting so mad at him.

Strangely though, once she’d gotten there, things just hadn’t felt right. There was a tension in the air that she couldn’t ignore. The opening act came on and she didn’t like any of their songs and then they played for too long which only increased her anxiety. The longer they played meant she had to wait that much longer to see the love of her life. The people around her were loud and obnoxious and the girl next to her kept bumping into her as she swayed and danced to the music. Hime was getting more and more frustrated with the situation. Didn’t they understand that she just needed to see Ichigo?

Her nerves were on edge and her temper antsy be released when the lights went down onstage and the crowd hummed with anticipation. She’d perked up instantly, squinting into the darkness to see the man she craved. Slowly, the music had begun and one by one the three unimportant members of the band had been illuminated. She’d seen Renji behind his drums, wearing a black t-shirt and his hair up in a ponytail. The very sight of him brought the earlier rage back full force. Ichigo had said his name. He’d said that he wanted that man back in his bed.

Finally though, there he was. Ichigo. Standing in his usual place wearing slim fitting black jeans and a fitted black t-shirt. His beautiful hair stood out in stark relief against his slightly pale skin and dark clothes. She stood in place with her mouth slightly open, gazing at him. He always played his guitar and sang with such passion. The love he had for his craft was etched across his face and down his body as he performed. Every time he’d reach up and grasp the microphone the lithe muscles in his arms would flex and she would gasp. As he sang, she watched and counted the minutes until she’d be able to speak to him alone.  
She had to know what was going on with him. She had to hear it from his lips directly that he’d been unfaithful. They could work it out if he would just be honest with her.

Towards the end of the show she’d started to loosen up and enjoy the concert. Even if she didn’t like them she had to admit that the band played well together. That is, until the show came to its close and the crowd began chanting for the encore. It took a few moments but the four men finally came back onstage and took their places. Ichigo came back out without his guitar and she wondered what song they would play. As soon as the first notes came out she knew what it was. It was another song that he’d written for her and it brought a huge smile to her face. He knew! He knew she was there and he was calling out to her in the only way he could at that moment. He was going to sing the final song of the show directly to her! She smiled and clasped her hands in front of her, her eyes wide as she watched him sing a verse with his eyes closed and his mouth almost up against the microphone. The crowd knew the words and they sang along, angering her slightly since it made it that much more difficult to hear his beautiful voice.

She’d watched him open his eyes and pull the mic from its stand. The brief moment of happiness disappeared in seconds as he’d turned away from her and walked towards the drum kit at the rear of the stage. She’d stared at the screen behind them, watching in abject horror as her world crumbled around her. He’d sang to the redhead and then proceeded to kiss him fully on the mouth. The cameras had zoomed in on them and she’d been forced to close her eyes to the nightmare all around her. The girl next to her had shrieked and screamed something along the lines ‘Oh my god that is so fucking sexy!’ which only served to nauseate her further.

Once the show was over and the crowd had begun to force its way out of the building she’d had no choice but to follow. She stumbled along numbly, bumping into people here and there but feeling none of it. Not even when a particularly impatient young man clipped her hard with his elbow.

Ichigo. He’d kissed the drummer. He’d kissed Renji and Renji had kissed back. She felt the heat rise to her face and her ears burned red with embarrassment. The humiliation she felt at that moment was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. It crept into her gut and festered, squirming around until she felt as though she’d be sick. She’d thought that maybe he’d been trying to apologize with the song he’d sang on the radio earlier that day. It had been one that she’d never heard before and it had been so sweet and romantic. A perfect love song written and performed Ichigo-style. He’d sung beautifully and the lyrics had been just for her. At least, she’d thought that they were.

Now she knew better.

That song hadn’t been for her. It was obvious. He’d sung it for him and then humiliated further her by kissing him in front of thousands of strangers. White hot fury surged through her with the memory that would be burned into her mind forever. The world knew now. Everyone knew what he’d done and she’d never be able to live it down. The part that angered her the most was the look on Ichigo’s face as he’d done it. The smile that had spread across his mouth and the appearance of happiness that had relaxed his features making him look younger than he was. He’d been happy to hurt her and for a moment she saw white as her mind blanked on everything but the fury churning within her.

A single thought was now on her mind and she knew exactly what she needed to do. As soon as she broke out of the arena with the crowd around her and felt the cool air on her face she turned and headed down the side of the building towards the loading dock . There were always people milling around that area after shows hoping to catch even the smallest glimpse of the band. She walked around the large building until she came to the corner. Peeking around she saw the band’s bus and the crew members that were already moving equipment out of the building and out into the large trucks that travelled from city to city. Everything would be going to storage now, she knew. The tour was over and the band was back home to stay, at least for a while. She’d been hoping, before everything that had transpired, that Ichigo would come home with her and stay for a while until he had to get back to work. That wasn’t going to happen now.

Breathing slowly, trying to calm herself, she stood in the shadows and watched the people come and go. It was probably thirty minutes later before she saw him. No, saw Them. Ichigo and Renji walked out together, holding hands. Her eyes immediately focused on their interlinked fingers and noticed how closely they stood. She saw them move as one and climb into a black SUV with black tinted windows. Moments later the SUV pulled away from the building and headed down the street.

“I see you Ichigo,” she whispered to herself. “I see both of you.”


	20. Track 20 -

**Track 20**

 

A shiny black Navigator was waiting near the bus when Ichigo and Renji finally left the arena. They’d said their goodbyes everyone with a promise to meet up for an after-tour celebration. Ichigo had hugged his sister and congratulated both her and Toshiro before they’d left. Grimm was standing nearby with his bag in his hand and Ichigo waved once. “You heading home, Grimm?”

The blue haired man nodded. “Yeah. For a shower and then I’m going out. I’d invite you two fuckers along but I know you can’t go.”

“We’re meeting my dad for breakfast tomorrow. You should come. Toshiro should be there.”

Grimm scowled. “Yeah, like that’ll entice me to show up. If I’m up I’ll give you a call, okay?”

Ichigo nodded. “Sure man. See ya later.”

Ganju loaded the couple into the SUV and climbed into the driver’s seat. “So we’re headed to your place, Renji?”

“Yeah. Do you know where it is?”

“No, not really.”

Renji chuckled. “I live on North Dearborn.”

Ganju looked into the rearview mirror and gave both men in the backseat a blank look “That doesn’t help. I’m not from Chicago.”

Renji sighed, glanced amusedly at Ichigo and proceeded to give the bodyguard directions to his home. What should have taken fifteen minutes tops took closer to twenty give with the heavy Saturday night traffic. Ichigo sat back against the black leather seat and watched the lights flash by past the limo tinted windows. He’d never been a party animal. That scene hadn’t ever appealed to him but he was looking forward to being able to move around on his own without having an armed escort following him every step of the way.

“You hungry, Ich?”

Renji’s softly voiced question brought his attention back into the car. “Not really. Why? Are you?”

“No, I was just asking. My housekeeper might have gone grocery shopping for me since she knew I was coming back but that’s not a guarantee. There might be nothing there to eat.”

Ichigo smiled. “We can order something if we need to.”

Renji nodded. “We’ll need to.”

“How do you know?”

Sliding closer, the redhead slid his left hand to the back of Ichigo’s neck and pulled him in until they were nose to nose.

“Because I have every intention of working up a very large appetite tonight.”

The not so subtle innuendo sent a happy chill down Ichigo’s spine just before Renji closed the distance and pressed a kiss to his eager mouth. Ichigo could have deepened it but he didn’t and Renji understood completely. Their relationship was still in its early stages the final act of intimacy had been hanging between them since they’d decided to start seeing each other. Now that the tour was over and they had the time to spend together they were both anxious and yet apprehensive about crossing that last line. Ichigo had wanted Renji in bed with him for years and now that the time was drawing close for the big moment he was feeling nervous butterflies flutter in his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to rip Renji’s sweaty clothes off and lick every inch of him but he refused to do it in front of Ganju.

Renji pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Ichigo’s mouth and pulled away. “Everything okay?”

Ichigo gazed into the most beautiful burgundy eyes and sighed quietly. “Yes.”

The other man frowned slightly. “That didn’t sound very convincing.”

The singer shot a look towards the driver’s seat before answering. “I don’t wanna talk about it here,” he whispered.

Renji nodded. “Alright. We’re here anyway. Hey, Ganju, that’s it up here on the right.”

The guard saw the building and luckily there was an open spot out front. He swung the SUV into it and put it in park. “Renji, you got your keys?”

Luckily, Kisuke had made it to the show because he held onto all of their house keys while the band was away, just in case something happened. “Yeah, here.”

He tossed the key ring up into the front seat and Ganju caught them easily. “I’m going to make a run through your place and make sure everything is okay. You two stay in the car with the doors locked. Got that?”

Both men nodded.

“Alright. Shouldn’t be more than a few minutes.”

“Oh, hey, I’ve got an alarm code,” Renji said, remembering at the last minute.

“What’s the code?”

“0831”

Ichigo made a face and let out a loud burst of quick laughter. The other two men both stared at him as if he were crazy. “That’s real original, Ren.”

“What?” the redhead asked clearly confused.

“You picked your birthday for your alarm code?”

Renji rolled his eyes. “I had to pick something I’d remember.”

Ichigo smiled, loving the sight of Renji’s cheeks flushing crimson in slight embarrassment.

Ganju interrupted the moment by pulling on the handle and popping the door open. The interior lights came on causing both men in the back to squint against it. “Stay in the car until I come to get you.”

The bodyguard was out of the car and walking up to the house seconds later. Ichigo and Renji watched as he checked the door for any signs of tampering before he unlocked it and went inside. An interior light came on moments later and his shadow walked by several windows as he checked every room of the large house.

People were usually surprised by where Renji lived and Ichigo had never understood why. He thought the place fit the drummer perfectly. The three story Georgian style home had been built in the late 1800’s and Renji had bought it shortly after it had been completely renovated a couple of years ago. The architecture of the place had been restored but everything else had been modernized. Ichigo always enjoyed going over and hanging out. The home was more relaxing and comfortable compared to Ichigo’s own high rise loft.

“Ich…”

Renji’s voice pulled his gaze from the front of the house to the drummer’s gorgeous tattooed face. “Yeah?”

The redhead leaned in close and ran the pad of his thumb across one of his cheekbones. Ever so slowly he rubbed it back and forth, memorizing the feel of the silky soft skin. Ichigo’s breath hitched slightly and he leaned in, closing the distance.  
Renji felt warm breath on his face just before Ichigo slid over him and straddled his lap, pressing their bodies as close together as they would go. The redhead sighed, whispering his love’s name softly, breathing the sound over Ichigo’s silky skin. “What are you doing to me, Ich?”

Ichigo ground down against the lap beneath him and heard Renji suck in a breath. He grinned evilly and nibbled on the skin behind Renji’s left ear. “I haven’t even started yet, Ren,” he whispered.

The redhead had one hand clamped onto Ichigo’s hip and the other buried within his hair when the driver’s side door popped open and Ganju stuck his head inside. “Way to stay on the lookout you two. Come on, the house is clear.”

Both of the musicians regrettably pulled away and Ichigo slid back into his seat. They exited the SUV without another word but Renji met Ichigo at the rear of the vehicle and grasped his hand with a smirk on his face. All three men walked into the house and as soon as the door shut behind them Renji dropped his bag and took a very deep breath. “Holy shit it feels good to be back home,” he announced to no one in particular.

Ganju stepped around them and moved farther down the front hall. “I’m going to stay down here, out of your way. You guys do whatever you need to. Ikkaku or Hisagi should be over later, once they check out your place, Ichigo.”

“Yeah, thanks,” the singer said before glancing at his boyfriend.

Renji jerked his head towards the staircase and smirked. Ichigo knew exactly what the signal meant and he quickly followed as Renji took the stairs two at a time.

The door to Renji’s bedroom slammed shut behind them and Ichigo found himself pinned to the back of the door before he could take another breath. Renji grasped his hips and ground himself closer, making Ichigo gasp against the drummer’s mouth.

He moaned the other man’s name and rubbed himself against him. “Renji…”

The redhead grunted once and attacked the smaller man’s neck making Ichigo arch his back. “Ich…”

Ichigo sank his fingers into long red hair and tugged, hard. Renji’s head snapped back, baring his neck and Ichigo leaned forward, licking a path from his collarbone to his ear. “Renji…shower…now.”

Renji heard the words but it took a minute to comprehend their meaning. His hands were pushing Ichigo’s t-shirt up his hard stomach when they clicked. “Come on,” he said, grasping one of Ichigo’s wrists and pulling away, tugging the smaller man along behind him as he hurried to the bathroom.

The water came on with a quick turn of his wrist and Renji began pulling off his clothes, tossing them in a haphazard pile in the corner. Ichigo watched appreciatively as the tattooed body was revealed to him. He licked his lips slowly; seemingly unaware of what the action did to Renji’s self control. Before the orange haired man knew it a naked redhead was yanking off his t-shirt, pulling it roughly over his head. It disappeared behind the taller man’s shoulder and deft fingers quickly popped open the button on his jeans and slid down the zipper. The tight black denim pooled at his ankles a moment later and he stepped out of them just as Renji picked him up and stepped underneath the water. Hot water sluiced over his skin and immediately began to relax his sore muscles.

They kissed passionately, tongues colliding and dueling as hands slid over wet skin eliciting moans that echoed throughout the marble bathroom. “Ichigo,” Renji groaned. “You…you have to stop.”

Ichigo wasn’t sure he heard correctly. Pulling away slightly he frowned up at his boyfriend. “Wha?”

Renji smirked and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I don’t want our first time together to be standing up in the shower, Ich. I need you in my bed first. After that…well, after that I can do you anywhere.”

“Then why are we standing here wasting time?” Ichigo said surprised at how husky his voice came out. Biting his bottom lip gently, the smaller man wrapped his arms around Renji’s neck and thrust his tongue down the redhead’s throat. Renji ran a hand down Ichigo’s back, feeling the wet skin beneath his fingertips. The creamy soft flesh was warm to the touch and he felt Ichigo mewl against his mouth as his hand moved lower, over his ass where he gently squeezed. The smaller man jerked slightly, gasped, then moaned as Renji found the spot he’d been looking for and slid one finger in, gently moving it back and forth, preparing the man for what was to come.

“Re-Ren…Renji…oh god.”

“We haven’t even started yet, Ich.”

Ichigo trembled against the intrusion. “Ren,” he moaned against the other’s lips.

Without warning, pulled away, turned off the water and picked Ichigo up again. Instinctively, the smaller man wrapped his legs around the redhead’s hips and held on as he was carried out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom where he was unceremoniously dumped onto the king sized bed. He slid up to rest his head on the pile of pillows as Renji crawled up his body to hover right above him. “I’ve waited so long for this.”

Ichigo smiled and traced his fingers across the tattoos on Renji’s chest. Water dripped from both of them, soaking the sheets beneath them but neither cared. “I want you so bad, Ren.”

“I’m right here, Ich. I’m not going anywhere.”

They clutched each other tightly, grasping at the naked flesh of each other’s bodies. “Renji. Please.”

Renji heard the gasped plea. The sound went straight south and he felt himself grow even harder. As gently as he could, Renji ground himself against the man below him, feeling Ichigo’s own hardness against him. “Ichigo…I-I don’t know if I can…I don’t know if I can be as gentle as I should be. I’ve…I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Ichigo spread his legs farther and wrapped his legs around Renji’s waist. “You don’t need to be. Please, Ren. Please. I need you so bad. Please.”

The redhead needed no other words. Reaching over to the table next to the bed he slid the drawer open and pulled out the bottle he kept there. Popping open the cap he squeezed out a decent amount and slathered it on himself. Without breaking eye contact from the beautiful creature beneath him he reached between Ichigo’s legs and pressed against his entrance. He watched the gorgeous face of the man he loved for any sign of pain or discomfort but all he saw was passion as he breached the passage and pressed inside.

Chocolate brown eyes fluttered closed and a sigh escaped Ichigo’s lips. Renji pressed farther until he felt Ichigo press back against him, thrusting against the fingers inside him. “Ah…oh god…yes, Ren.”

Renji lowered his face and pressed a kiss to the dragon tattooed on Ichigo’s chest. “You are so beautiful, Ichigo.”

“Please, Ren.”

The redhead smirked. “Please what?”

Ichigo gasped loudly as his lover pressed against the bundle of nerves inside of him. He shouted out and squeezed his thighs tightly, eliciting a groan from the man above him. “Please, Ren. I need you inside me. Please...nngh…Please fuck me.”

Renji licked a path up his throat and bit down at the juncture where his neck met his shoulder. Ichigo gasped and arched his back, panting and moaning like a common street whore. “Oh god,” he shouted as Renji pulled his fingers away and positioned himself at Ichigo’s ass. “Yes, Renji. Please. Yes.”

Smirking like the Cheshire cat, Renji hooked his arms under Ichigo’s thighs and pulled his legs farther apart, opening the smaller man to him. “I love you, Ichigo.”

The orange haired man heard the words and had a reply on his lips but all rational thought left him when Renji pushed forward, breaching him fully. He screamed and locked his ankles behind Renji’s tattooed back, forcing the man to sink himself all the way in. Renji hissed and fell forward, bracing his upper body with a hand next to Ichigo’s beautiful sweating face.

He wanted to go slow. He really did but the anticipation of finally being here, inside of Ichigo, had been too much. Now that he was there, buried to the hilt inside the sweetest tightest heat he’d ever felt he didn’t think he could stand it.

He felt Ichigo move around him and he began to thrust, watching the orange haired man’s face carefully. He supposed he expected to see even the slightest flicker of pain but all he got was love. Groaning, he realized that if it kept feeling this good he wouldn’t be able to last all that long. He pushed forward and watched Ichigo’s eyes drift closed again.

The long pale legs around his waist tightened with every thrust and Ichigo moaned his name over and over. It was music to Renji’s ears. They rocked together in what became a brutal rhythm with Renji snapping his hips forward and Ichigo lifting himself up to meet each and every thrust.

Renji felt the sweat running down his back, felt his breath bursting from his chest in grunted gasps as his release coiled within him. He was unwilling to cum too early but aware of the fact that he couldn’t stop it. Being inside of Ichigo was too good. It was far more than he had ever imagined. He opened eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed and gazed down at the man moaning his name. Ichigo’s beautiful flesh was coated with a sheen of sweat and his fists were white-knuckling the wet sheets on either side of his face. “Ichigo,” he whispered.

Slowly, chocolate eyes opened and gazed up him. “Ren…ah…so…so good.”

Renji grinned down at him. “Cum with me, Ichigo.”

The smaller man’s eyes widened as he felt a calloused hand grasp him and stroke him in time with the thrusts that were driving him into the mattress.

He moaned louder, feeling Renji move inside him, making the pressure inside of him build and build until he didn’t think he could last any longer. He tightened his legs, squeezing his thighs against the muscular body that was making him writhe, pulling the man as deep within him as he could go. Ichigo needed more. He wanted everything the redhead could give him. “Harder. Yeah. Renji…like that.”

Hearing the command, Renji hunched over him and snapped his hips forward. Ichigo screamed and arched his back, widening his knees as far as they would go. Timing his thrusts with the strokes of his hand, Renji fucked Ichigo almost as hard as he could, forcing the singer to grasp the headboard and lock his arm straight so his head wouldn’t bang into it. Renji felt the sweet tightness of Ichigo squeezing him and it soon became too much. He groaned and felt his release pool deeper within him.

“Ichigo…I’m…I’m gonna.”

“Now, Renji. I’m…now.”

Ichigo moaned, a deep throated noise that came from far within him, and he came with body shaking force. His seed spurted once, twice and he gasped as Renji bent forward and bit down on his shoulder. The redhead grunted and Ichigo soon felt him release inside of him. Warmth spread within him and he smiled as his lover licked and kissed the red mark he’d just left on his skin.

Reaching up, Ichigo pressed both palms to Renji’s temples and slid them farther back, tangling his fingers within the amazing red hair. He breathed the redhead’s name and pulled his face down. “Renji.”

The larger man lowered himself but didn’t lay his weight completely down. “Ichigo.”

“That was…amazing, Ren.”

Renji smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

As gently as he could, Renji withdrew from Ichigo’s warmth and sank down next to him. As if they’d done it a million times, Ichigo rolled with him and curled against his side, pressing his cheek against the redhead’s chest and wrapping an arm and a leg over him. “I need another shower.”

Renji chuckled. “Our first one didn’t really count. It was more of a rinse off.”

Ichigo smiled and rubbed a finger tip back and forth along a well defined ridge of muscle. “True. Then you know what I want after that?”

“Hmm?”

“Food.”

The redhead’s smile widened. “We’ll order something in a bit. That okay?”

Ichigo shrugged a shoulder and flattened his palm against his lover’s stomach. “Sure. I’m not picky.”

Renji thought about it for a moment and realized just how right everything was at that moment. He had Ichigo in his arms, in his bed. They’d just shared an intense experience and neither of them wanted it to end. Feeling his eyes growing heavy, Renji sighed happily. “Sounds good, Ich. But can we lie here for a little bit longer?”

Ichigo smiled and cuddled closer. “Of course.”


	21. Track 21 -

**Track 21**

 

The street outside the house was usually fairly busy but it was currently very early on a Sunday morning and traffic was light. Only the occasional car drove by, on its way to some unknown destination. She caught the lights at the corners of her eyes but paid them no attention. Her stare was focused intently on the house across the street.

A few lights were on inside; two downstairs and one on the second floor and every once in a while a man-sized shadow would pass by some of the front windows. She watched with a scowl practically burned onto her face. She knew they were in there. The black SUV they’d taken from the arena was parked right out front so she knew there were at least three people inside.

Standing in the dark, out of the focus of one of the nearby streetlamps, she watched until the light upstairs went dark. Suspicion clouded her brain as the implications of that light being turned off sent her mind into a frenzy of thought. He was up there. They were both up there. In the dark.

Slowly, she blinked and felt the tears that had threatened to spill down her face all night fall. He’d done it. He’d broken her heart even after telling her over and over that he loved her and that he would never hurt her.

She sobbed quietly and watched as one of the lights downstairs was extinguished as well. Moments later the same shadow passed by the front windows, pausing only slightly before moving on towards the back of the house.

Watching the stranger walk around the inner rooms somehow caused a realization to burn within her.

She needed to see Ichigo face to face.

She needed to hear directly from his mouth that he’d lied to her about everything he’d ever told her. That he’d lied for years about their future. That he’d never had any intention of marrying her or of being the father to their future children.  
The tears continued to fall, dripping from her cheeks and running in thin rivulets down her chest, staining the delicate fabric of her dress. “Ichigo,” she whispered. “Why?”

Another car drove by, this time shaking her from her reflections. Standing up straighter she wiped the tears from her eyes and made a decision. She had to see Ichigo.

Confrontation was essential.

Taking a quiet breath, she stepped from the curb and walked swiftly across the street.

Keeping to the darkness she moved to the front of the house, eyeing the front door momentarily before walking along the sidewalk to the tiny alleyway that ran between the house and the building next door. It was pitch black as neither building had any lights on the side and she moved slowly and carefully so she didn’t lose her footing an anything unseen. As she came to the end of the alley she was grateful that she’d worn simple ballet flats instead of the high heels she’d originally planned on. Ichigo had always told her that he liked it when she looked innocent.

Thinking of those memories now was only painful and they spurred her on. Silently, she peeked around the corner to look at the back of the house. Dim lights on either side of the back door illuminated a wide deck that sprawled across the back of the house. She looked around the area, taking it all in, before taking the few steps forward that brought her to the foot of the stairs that led up to the back door.

The room just inside the house was dark but she could see that it was the kitchen from another light shining down a long hallway that seemed to run down the center of the house. Silently, she crept up the short set of stairs and stood at the back door, watching and listening for any sign of the man she’d come to see.

Her hand itched to reach for the knob but she held back. She didn’t want to appear crazy by just barging into the house but the intense need she felt to confront Ichigo and his lover was almost too strong. Breathing deeply she stared down the dark hallway and waited.

It could have been minutes or it could have been hours, she didn’t know, but eventually a shadow stretched along the wall and her breath quickened. Is it him?

Her heart caught in her chest and stopped beating for a moment until she saw the large body of a dark haired man that she recognized as the man who’d driven Ichigo from the arena. Thinking fast, she ducked away from the door and stood with her back against the house. She didn’t want him to see her. She had come to speak with Ichigo, not some stranger. Breathing deeply, she waited.

Moments later she heard the distinct beeping of an alarm system being turned off before the door knob turned and the back door cracked open.

Had he seen her? She didn’t think so but still held her breath before reaching down to her handbag and sliding her palm inside. Her hand touched the item she’d put in there earlier, fingertips brushing across cool metal and she grasped it without hesitation. She had to see Ichigo and no one was going to get in her way.

The rasp of a lighter hit her ears and she immediately smelled cigarette smoke. Blue gray wisps drifted out from the partially open door seconds before the dark haired man pulled it open all the way and stepped out Her eyes widened, suddenly aware that if he looked to his right and peered into the darkness that he would see her. Luckily, his attention was on the cigarette currently parked between his lips and he was staring out into the dark yard beyond.

A car driving down the street suddenly honked and his head turned towards the noise, apparently forgetting his inner thoughts.  
She watched him turn his body away from her and it almost seemed as if her own body took over for her mind. She felt her hand clasp tightly and her arm lifted higher. She watched herself pull the gun from within her bag and swing the butt of it towards him. He was bringing the cigarette back to his lips for another inhale when she struck him hard, feeling something crack at the base of his neck. He grunted once just before his legs turned to jelly and he collapsed to the wooden planks beneath his feet. She stared, disbelieving, as he laid there and didn’t move. It almost seemed too easy.

Without blinking she slid the pistol back into her purse and looked at the backdoor that was standing wide open. The warm air inside billowed out, welcoming her into the depths of the house.

Grinning to herself, she stepped over the man’s body and walked into Renji’s home, closing and locking the back door behind her. “I’m here, Ichigo,” she whispered to nobody. “Are you ready?”


	22. Track 22 -

**Track 22**

 

Moonlight shone through the large bedroom windows casting shadows upon the sleeping figures huddled together beneath the sheets. Renji curled farther against Ichigo and tightened the hold he had around the smaller man’s waist.

Ichigo sighed in contentment and wriggled closer still, whispering his lovers name against the redhead’s own shoulder. “Ren.”

The single syllable brought Renji slowly awake and he reveled at the feel of his own bed beneath him. Turning his head, he looked down at the soft orange head nestled in the crook of his neck and smiled. He thought back, briefly retracing his life before Ichigo had come into it and knew for a fact that he’d never been happier than he was at that very moment. “Ichigo,” he whispered. “You awake?”

The orange head cuddled closer still and a mumbled answer hit Renji’s ears.

“I’ll take that as a ‘sort of’”.

Ichigo shifted slightly and pressed a kiss to the side of Renji’s neck. “I’m awake,” he whispered back, “Just comfy.”

Renji grinned. “Me too.”

Ichigo lifted his head and gazed down at his lover’s beautiful face, smiling happily.

Renji looked up into expressive brown eyes and saw the emotion written there. He opened his mouth to tell Ichigo just how much he loved him but the words were lost as lips pressed against his own. Words were unnecessary at that moment in time and he fervently kissed back, tasting Ichigo’s sweet mouth.

The smaller man shifted up and swung a leg over Renji’s hips, straddling him in one smooth motion. He smiled as he felt the warm silky flesh beneath him and he sank low, brushing his lips over the inky black lines on the redhead’s chest. “MMmm, you taste good,” he whispered, following the lines down the firm chest to the tribal marks running down the muscled stomach. “So good.”

Renji groaned and shifted his hips, rubbing himself against the warm body above him. “Ich…”

“I think it’s time for round two, Ren.”

The redhead groaned again and fisted the sheets as Ichigo reached down and grasped him gently, running his palm along his hard length, tightening his grip and tugging once, twice. “Nngh…Ich…what are…”

“Shh,” Ichigo whispered, crawling farther down until he was face to face with what he was after. With teasing softness the singer ran his tongue from base to tip before sucking the head into the heat of his mouth. Renji bucked upward, forcing another couple of inches inside. Ichigo grinned around him and lowered farther, taking him almost all the way in. He bobbed a few times, slicking the organ before pulling away with a pop.

Renji whined as cold air hit him but Ichigo didn’t give him time to complain any farther. He crawled back up his body, straddling his hips, and grasped him again, holding him place as he lowered himself down.

Both men groaned loudly as Renji sank in. It took everything the redhead had to not thrust upwards and bury himself inside Ichigo’s ass as far as he could go. Lucky for him, he didn’t need to.

Ichigo pulled himself up, bracing his hands on either side of Renji’s head and forced himself all the way down. He’d expected a little pain, even though he was still relaxed and wet from their earlier encounter, but there was none. He felt the fullness and the pleasure and it was all he needed. Their lips met and they mashed together in a passionate kiss while Ichigo lifted and sank, over and over, building a tempo of fire between them.

Renji commanded his hands to let go of the sheets and they quickly found Ichigo’s hips and held on with almost bruising force. He held the hot flesh and helped the amazing man above him to keep the rhythm he’d started. “Ich…Ichigo…ah gods…yes.”

Ichigo smiled down, loving the feeling of being with Renji in body, mind and soul. They were one at that moment, living and loving for only each other. “Ren…t-touch me, please. I-I’m gonna…”

Renji grunted an agreement and slid one hand down Ichigo’s thigh, squeezing the muscle there, as the orange haired man ground down on him. The other hand wrapped around Ichigo’s turgid member and squeezed, jerking him off in time with each rise and fall of his ass.

Ichigo heard himself moan and seconds later he came, spurting a hot mess over Renji’s hand and across the redhead’s shoulder.

The spastic squeeze of the heat around him sent Renji over the edge and within a heartbeat he was emptying himself inside Ichigo. The pulsing around him was intense and it took several deep breaths before he felt as though he was back on the planet’s surface. “Wow,” he muttered. “Holy shit.”

Ichigo chuckled and lifted himself off, rubbing his leg across Renji’s before collapsing in a sweaty heap next to him. “Ditto,” he replied.

Renji turned his head and smiled, “That’s what I call a ‘Good Morning,”

Ichigo smiled back. “What time is it anyway?”

“Um, let’s see.”

The redhead reached out to the bedside table and grabbed his phone. The clock read that it was barely past three in the morning.

“I guess our day is starting early then, eh?”

Renji nodded. “I guess so. Got any plans for the day besides breakfast with your dad?”

Ichigo shook his head. “Not really. I just want to spend it with you.”

“Same here.”

Renji lifted himself up to rest on an elbow and leaned over, kissing Ichigo softly. Things between them could have heated up again in no time but Ichigo’s stomach had other ideas. It grumbled loudly at the fact that it hadn’t had food in several hours. Renji laughed and pulled away. “Why don’t we get cleaned up and get something to eat. It’s a few hours yet until you’ll be meeting your dad.”

“Sounds good to me.”

 

Ten minutes later, after a swift cleanup, Renji pulled on clean jeans and a t-shirt, tugged his hair into a sloppy ponytail and smiled when he heard Ichigo singing in the shower. He was sorely tempted to shed the clothes he’d just put on and slide into the shower too but the rumbling of his hungry stomach put a stop to the thoughts.

It was still dark outside as he pulled the bedroom door shut behind him and walked to the stairs. He called out when his feet hit the hardwood floor in the foyer. “Ganju?”

The house seemed eerily quiet and he frowned. “Ganju? Where you at?”

Listening to the house around him he thought he heard something and he took the few steps forward into the living room doorway. The room was empty but the stereo was on. The volume was set low and he had to focus on the sound to make out Ichigo’s voice and their music playing through the speakers. “What-“

His words were abruptly cut off when he heard a click and felt something hard poke him right between his shoulder blades.  
Renji froze instinctively and raised both hands into the air. Somehow he knew exactly who was standing behind him and it was confirmed when he heard her voice. “Turn around…slowly.”

His breath caught in his throat as he turned to face the petite young woman who’d somehow snuck up behind him. He eyed the pistol that was barely shaking in her trembling hand. He knew he should say or do something…anything but he was frozen.

She stepped closer and sneered, pushing the gun towards him. He took a step back when she pressed the barrel into his chest, crossing over the threshold between the entryway and the living room. Inside the room he could hear Ichigo’s voice singing from the surround sound speakers much clearer.

The panic that had already started to form in the pit of his stomach suddenly jumped into his throat and he almost screamed. Ichigo.

“Sit down and don’t move,” she hissed.”

Renji’s eyes darted to the door for just a split second before he slowly sat on his couch and held his breath for a moment. Heart wrenching worry clenched in his chest for what was inevitable. Ichigo’s shower wasn’t going to last forever and he’d be walking down the stairs sooner rather than later. Renji didn’t want to consider what could happen then. “Wh-where’s Ganju? What did you do to him?”

Orihime sneered down at him. “He tried to get between us. I couldn’t let that happen. Just like I can’t let you get between us.”

“I d-don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t. How could someone like you possibly understand?”

Renji frowned but kept his voice neutral. “What do you mean ‘someone like me’?”

She smiled at him and it chilled him to the bone. “You. You’re nothing but a whore and a home wrecker. You think that just because you get to spend all that time with him that you can just take him from me? You think that you can do that?”

Renji sat on the couch, unmoving, watching the gun shake in her hands. He wasn’t trying to upset her but something gnawed in his gut telling him that nothing he did or didn’t do would make any difference.

“You brainwashed him,” she hissed. “I know you did. You and everyone else. That’s why he did that. That’s why he…why he…k-kissed you in front of everyone!”

She lifted the gun higher and pointed it squarely at his chest, positioning her finger over the trigger. Renji watched her face, refusing to look at the hand that could kill him with one twitch of a finger. “Please,” he whispered. “I don’t know what you want from me. We can talk. Just us. Please We can work this out.”

“What _I_ want? I want you to disappear, that’s what I want! I want my Ichigo back!”  
Renji flinched as her voice got louder, afraid that the noise would alert Ichigo and make him charge down the stairs in a panic.

“I didn’t-“

“Renji? You downstairs?”

Simultaneously, Renji and Orihime’s eyes widened. The redhead silently cursed and she smiled widely, swinging her attention to the stairs as they both heard footsteps quickly jog down.

 

Ichigo had finished his shower and dressed quickly, tugging on blue jeans and a black tank. He didn’t like being away from Renji and he knew the redhead had already gone downstairs to scrounge for food. He called out for him as he started down the stairs but came to an abrupt stop when his feet hit the bottom. She was there. Standing in Renji’s living room holding a gun. Ichigo felt his chest constrict and it was suddenly very difficult to breathe. “Renji?”

“I’m okay, Ichigo,” the redhead called from somewhere within the other room. “I’m here. Stay where you are.”

He watched her flick her gaze to a spot within the living room, a spot that Ichigo couldn’t see from where he stood, and the grip she held on the gun tightened. “Hime?”

The woman turned her attention back to him and smiled widely. “Hello Ichigo.”

Ichigo knew he had to play it cool or she was going to hurt someone. The knowledge that she’d probably already hurt someone was painful but Renji was okay and that was all he cared about at that moment. “Hello Orihime. What are you doing here?”

Her smile shrank a fraction. “I went to your place, Ichigo, but you weren’t there. Why didn’t you go home?”

He didn’t know if he should lie or be honest and in the end, Ichigo decided he’d do a little bit of both. “I came home with Renji because his place was closer and I was tired. I wanted to get some sleep.”

“You didn’t call me. I was waiting for you there and you never showed. I knew you came here and it took me a minute but I finally remembered where he lived and then I get here and you and he are upstairs…in the dark.”

Ichigo stood in place and felt the world start to spin around him. She’d been following him for so long. She knew practically everything about him it seemed and not only his information. She knew where Renji had lived. None of them had been safe. “I’m sorry,” he said, not knowing what else to say.

Her eyes softened just a little but her hand hadn’t released its grip on the pistol. “Why, Ichigo? Why would you cheat on me?”

“I…” Ichigo had no clue how he was supposed to answer that. “I’m sorry. I…I never meant to hurt you, Orihime.”

She stood there for a moment, seemingly in thought. “But you did.”

“I-“

“You _did_ hurt me, Ichigo,” she interrupted. “You said you loved me and you promised that we’d be together forever. You said that. You said we’d be together after you tour was over.”

“Orihi-“

“It was all a lie wasn’t it, Ichigo?”

Ichigo was more than confused. He was petrified. He didn’t know how to answer her. He’d thought that he should just play along but that didn’t seem to be getting anywhere good. She was obviously upset and more than a little delusional. “I’m…I…”

“You _lied_ to me, Ichigo. I never thought you would but you did. You _lied_.”

“No, I…”

“You broke my heart. How could you _do_ that?”

“Orihime, I didn-“

“I thought I could forgive you. Before the concert I thought that if we talked we could work everything out but now, after what you did with him. I don’t think it’s going to work, Ichigo.”

He noticed how she hissed the word ‘him’ as if Renji was something disgusting that shouldn’t be allowed to exist. Ichigo wanted nothing more than to knock her out of the way, kick the gun from her hands and run to him. He couldn’t see him and that simple fact terrified him. He could handle this whole situation so much better if only Renji were there next to him, holding his hand. Instead, the redhead was being held at gunpoint and it was all Ichigo’s fault. “Please, Orihime. We can work this out but you have to put that gun down. Please. I’m begging you. Please put it down.”

Tears glittered in her large gray eyes and if they were under different circumstances he’d feel like an ass for making a girl cry but right at that moment he could care less.

Orihime looked at Ichigo and frowned. He looked the same as always; lithe frame, lightly tanned skin littered with tattoos. His usually spiky hair was slightly damp and therefore lying somewhat limp against his head. He stood at the foot of the stairs with a pleading look on his face and at that exact moment, it infuriated her. “I don’t believe you,” she said. “You are a liar and a cheater and you can’t be trusted, Ichigo. I loved you more than anything. I was going to spend my life with you. I was going to be the mother of your children! You lied and you cheated and you don’t deserve me.”

“Please…”

“Stop begging!” she shouted, her hand shaking more and more on the gun. “You can’t save him.”

The finality of her words almost stopped his heart and Ichigo unconsciously took a step forward. “What do you-“

“You can’t save him, Ichigo, because if I can’t have you neither can he.”

Several things happened at once in that exact moment. Ichigo took another step forward and tried to regain her attention. He didn’t like her focusing so much on Renji, the more she did the more her hand shook. He saw her eyes flick to him momentarily just as her finger twitched on the trigger.

His eyes widened as the burst of light and the deafening boom of the gun firing shot through the house. Ichigo heard a thump in the living room and could only imagine what had just happened. He froze in place as she swung her arm upwards, towards herself.  


Suddenly everything paused, the world around him coming to a complete stop, as he watched her finger squeeze on the trigger. 

In one instant she was staring down at him with a weird little smile on her face and the next her face was gone and her corpse was falling to the floor. 

Ichigo stared wideeyed, seeing all too much, for just a heartbeat before he was scrambling to get to the living room. He slipped a bit in her blood while stepping over her legs, then nearly tripped as his feet tangled in the rug just inside the door. In his rush he didn't hear the back door slam open nor the voice worriedly calling their names. His eyes widened and heart stopped at what he saw on the floor next to the couch.

Renji was on his back, feet tangled, arms extended, and knees bent.

Ichigo stumbled into the room and dropped next to him, reaching out and touching the redhead’s slack face. The burgundy eyes that always sparkled with vibrancy were closed and the tattooed face was turned so Renji’s cheek was pressed to the floor. A large red stain was spreading across his t-shirt and another was pooling beneath him, fanning out across the floor. Ichigo was kneeling in it but he didn’t care. “Re-Ren…Renji…no…please.”


	23. Track 23 -

**Track 23**

 

Kisuke couldn’t stop ringing his hands together as he rushed from the parking lot into the emergency department of the hospital. The phone call he’d received from Hisagi had brought him straight out of bed and rushing to his car. He could care less that he was still dressed in his green pajamas. He’d had the forethought to throw on his coat and slide his feet into a pair of sneakers but even that took too much time.

Hisagi had told him the news. Renji was hurt and was being rushed to the hospital. They weren’t sure if he was going to make it.

The electric door slid open with a schwoop and the blonde man rushed inside. Two uniformed policemen were standing near the check-in counter with Ikkaku leaning against it right behind them frowning at nothing in particular. He saw Kisuke approach and cocked his head back in greeting. “Have you heard anything?” Kisuke asked, moving past the cops.

Ikkaku shook his head. “No. Nothing.”

“Where’s Ichigo?”

The bodyguard pointed and when Kisuke’s eyes landed on the singer his heart sank.

Ichigo was sitting in a chair, bent forward with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.

Hands that were stained red-brown with dried blood.

Kisuke stared at him, taking him from head to toe. His jeans were soaked with red from the knees down as if he’d knelt down into a puddle of it. From the knees up he was splattered with more. Ichigo looked like an artist’s macabre canvas.

Taking a few tentative steps forward Kisuke paused in front of the obviously distraught man. He wanted to reach out and embrace him but Kisuke wasn’t sure how Ichigo would react. Deigning to simply be there the blonde sat next to him and waited. Ichigo lifted his head a moment later and his tear stained blood-spattered face broke Kisuke’s heart. “Hey,” the manager said softly.

The singer’s bottom lip quivered slightly. It was obvious to anyone watching that he wanted to break down and scream but he couldn’t and he wouldn’t. He had to stay strong.

Kisuke had so many questions but Ichigo was in no state to answer them. Glancing up he saw Hisagi coming out of the bathroom and he immediately stood up and walked over to him. “Shuuhei, tell me what happened.”

Hisagi sighed and started from the beginning. “Ikkaku and I went to Ichigo’s place after the show to make sure things were okay there. Ganju took Renji and Ichigo to Renji’s place.”

“Where is Ganju?”

The bodyguard sighed again. “He’s in surgery. Ikkaku found him on Renji’s deck unconscious and bleeding from a head wound. They’re releasing the pressure on his brain. That’s all we know so far.”

Kisuke nodded and motioned for Hisagi to continue.

“Ikkaku and I expected her to be there. At Ichigo’s apartment. If she was going to do something we expected it to happen there. She’d never tried to contact the other band members before. We didn’t expect her to know where Renji lived but she did.”

Hisagi paused and took a breath. He was unbelievably furious with himself for letting her get to her target.  
“It’s going to be okay, Hisagi. Please continue.”

“I…I’m just so upset over this Kisuke. I failed.”

“What happened at Renji’s?” Kisuke pushed, unwilling to lay any blame quite yet.

Hisagi sighed again and shrugged. “I can only speculate. We checked out Ichigo’s apartment and it was clean. Still secure. Nobody had been there. We left and drove to Renji’s. We got there and I saw Ichigo standing at the foot of the stairs. He looked terrified and we knew something was wrong. I told Ikkaku to go around to the back and that’s where he found Ganju.”  
“You went inside?”

Hisagi nodded. “We went in but we were too late. I came through the front door and she pulled the trigger.”

Kisuke winced and ran both hands through his already messy hair. “She shot Renji?”

Hisagi looked crestfallen. “Once. Pointblank in the chest. I saw the muzzle flash and heard the shot and I reacted. I told Ichigo to get down and thank god he listened. He dropped to the floor and I dropped her.”

“So she’s dead?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Hisagi glanced over at Ichigo and sighed heavily. “You should have seen him,” he whispered. “He ran into the living room and I could see his pain. Fuck, Kisuke, I knew they cared about each other but,” Hisagi paused taking a breath. “The look on Ichigo’s face when he saw Renji just lying there. We…we thought he was dead.”

Kisuke put his hand on Hisagi’s shoulder and squeezed. “Everything will work out, Shuuhei. You’ll see. Why don’t you and Ikkaku go grab some coffee. I’m sure Ichigo could use some too.”

Hisagi took a deep breath and held it for a moment, trying to calm his nerves. “Yeah,” he finally answered. “Do you want anything?”

Kisuke shook his head. “No, thank you. Did anyone call Grimm and Toshiro?”

“Yeah, As soon as we got here. I left them both messages. I would have called Renji’s family but nobody knew the number.”

“I’ve got it. I’ll take care of it.”

Kisuke watched Hisagi walk away with Ikkaku and saw how the dark haired man got more than a few appraising glances from a couple of nurses walking by. The corner of his mouth turned up for a second until he turned and looked at Ichigo again. His grin promptly sank lower. The young man hadn’t moved an inch. His face was still buried in his hands and his hair was a wild mess. “Ichigo,” Kisuke said trying to get the singer’s attention as he sat next to him again. “Ichigo, look at me.”

“I can’t,” he whispered, so softly Kisuke had trouble hearing him.

“Yes you can.”

Ichigo shook his head and lifted his face. “No. I…I can’t lose him, Kisuke. What if he…what if he doesn’t make it?”

Kisuke squeezed the young man’s knee and tried to sound reassuring. “Renji is going to be okay Ichigo. They’re working on him now, right?”

Nibbling on his lower lip, Ichigo nodded.

“He’s going to be okay. Renji is very strong and it’ll take more than this to keep him down. I sent Hisagi and Ikkaku for coffee. Why don’t we wait here for it and then we’ll get you cleaned up. It won’t do to have you looking like that when Renji comes out of surgery.”

Ichigo sniffled loudly and wiped his nose on the back of his hand, uncaring about how gross it was. His nose was still running from the constant tears that had been spilling down his cheeks. He glanced down at himself, blinking rapidly, and scowled. The clothes he’d pulled on after his shower only a couple of hours before were caked in blood. Renji’s blood.  
His fingers curled against his thighs and he sucked in a shaky breath. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Okay.”

 

 

Ichigo was curled up asleep, lying on a loveseat in the surgical waiting room, when Grimm burst through the door. The guitarist obviously wasn’t sober but he wasn’t quite belligerent either. He stumbled in and collapsed in a chair next to Ichigo. The singer cracked open his eyes and watched him with a blank stare. “Itch? What the fuck happened?”

 

Ichigo blinked once slowly. “She came to Renji’s house.”

Grimm frowned. “What?”

“She broke in and almost killed Ganju. She shot…” Ichigo swallowed thickly, his throat feeling like it was coated in sand. “She shot Renji.”

“But he’s okay though, right?”

Ichigo shifted his shoulders in a semi-shrug. “Don’t know,” he whispered. “They’ve had him in surgery for hours.”  
Grimm slouched farther down in the chair and scrubbed his hands over his face. “What the fuck, Itch? I leave you two alone for a couple of hours and you both try to get yourselves killed.”

Ichigo knew he was trying to lighten the mood but he couldn’t bring himself to even crack a smile. Not when Renji was so close to death.

“Any idea how much longer they’re gonna be?”

“No.”

“Fuck.”

Ichigo looked at his friend and smirked. “You don’t have to stay, Grimm.”

The blue-haired musician stared down at his friend and scowled. “Fuck you.”

“I just meant…”

Grimm shook his head. “I know what you meant, Itch. Don’t worry about it. Renji and you are more important to me thananything else. I’m not going to leave when one of my best friends is having a bullet ripped out of him.”

Ichigo flinched.

“I can’t believe she fucking shot him. Where the fuck were your bodyguards?”

The singer gave another half-shrug. He wasn’t in the mood to discuss it. Whether or not Hisagi and the others had failed in their duties was a conversation for another time. If it wasn’t for the Valium that Kisuke had gotten for him he wouldn’t be lying on the rock hard loveseat sleeping. He’d be up pacing and worrying and getting more and more upset with each passing minute. Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out, Ichigo looked up at his friend. “Did you have fun?”

Grimm looked down at him and smirked. “Yeah. It was good. What about you? You and Ren finally fuck?”

Ichigo frowned.

“Sorry, probably not the right time to make light of it, eh?”

“No, not really.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. And yes, we did.”

Grimm cracked a wide smile. “Was it good?”

Ichigo flashed a sad little grin. “Yes.”

“Good.”

 

 

Toshiro, Karin and Renji’s aunt and Uncle all arrived later, escorted by another pair of policemen that had plenty of questions for everyone. Kisuke handled the cops as best he could, along with Hisagi and Ikkaku. Ichigo had been able to avoid most of the questions at the house but he couldn’t escape them now. He answered each one as best he could even though it was hard to talk about the events that had only happened a few hours before without reliving each terrifying moment in horrifying detail. At least the officers seemed kind and didn’t make it unnecessarily rough on him. Renji’s aunt was a visible mess but she was keeping herself calm the best she could. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her husband sat next to her stoically, holding her hand. Karin and Toshiro huddled around Ichigo and Grimm and tried to offer support the best they could.  
Ichigo was grateful for it all and tried to stay positive but every minute that went by without someone coming in to tell them if Renji was okay or not was another wound opened in his heart and soul.

Prayers were answered forty-five minutes later when an exhausted looking doctor in green surgical scrubs walked into the room. All heads turned and Ichigo was up on his feet immediately, rushing towards the man. “Is he okay? Is Renji okay?”  
The doctor looked Ichigo in the eyes and smiled. “Yes, he’s fine. The surgery went very well. He was very lucky. The bullet missed vital organs. There was quite a lot of tissue damage of course and severe blood loss but we got the bleeding stopped and as much of the tissue repaired as we could. He’s going to have a fairly long recovery time but with proper care and probable physical therapy he’ll be just fine.”

Ichigo stared at the doctor until his words clicked. Renji was okay. Renji was alive. “You’re sure he’s okay? Can I see him?”

“They’re bringing him out of surgery now and he’ll be in a recovery room for a couple of hours. We need to monitor him closely until he starts to come out of the anesthesia. Once he’s ready they’ll move him up to his room. Then he can have visitors but not until then.”

“Okay.”

The group had gathered around and everyone said their thanks to the doctor; beyond appreciative of his efforts to save Renji. Ichigo was so thankful he wanted to hug the man but settled for shaking his hand instead.

Grimm stepped up and wrapped a comforting arm around Ichigo’s shoulders. “See? I told ya. He’s okay.”

“Yeah.”

“You alright, Itch?”

Ichigo nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. I just don’t think I’ll really believe it until I see him.”

 

 

Kisuke managed to get everyone down to the hospital cafeteria a while later after convincing Ichigo that someone on the hospital staff would alert them when Renji was being moved into his room. The manager even showed the singer the little pager a nurse had given him that would blink and vibrate when it was time. Ichigo had hesitantly gotten up and followed the group. Kisuke kept a close eye on the younger man, worried that he was already blaming himself for what had happened. He figured he’d need to watch both Ichigo and Hisagi for signs of guilt. He could sort of see Ichigo’s point though. It had been his stalker that had shot Renji so in his mind if he hadn’t had the stalker, then Renji wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Hisagi’s point was a little different. It had been his job to keep Ichigo safe and he’d failed. Kisuke couldn’t blame the bodyguard though. He’d done his job very well, at least to a point. He’d kept Ichigo safe until they’d gotten back to Chicago. The show had been astoundingly good and he’d gotten Ichigo and Renji both safely away from the arena. From there he’d left it up to Ganju who should have been able to handle watching the two men once they were locked in the house. Kisuke figured he was going to have to talk to Ganju once the man woke up from his own surgery.

There was now a long road ahead of the band. The original plan had been for the boys to take a break and get some much needed rest before going back into the studio to work on their next album. That would be postponed indefinitely. There were a few festival shows they were scheduled to play as well that would have to be cancelled. Kisuke sighed and pulled out his phone, clicking his way into his calendar where he busied himself with re-working the band’s schedule. All changes would be forwarded to his office where he would make the calls as soon as he was sitting behind his desk again.

The doctor had said that Renji would have physical therapy, no doubt to work on strengthening his body again after such a severe injury. Kisuke would wait to see the drummer himself before using his own judgment on just how much therapy the redhead would need. He knew how strong willed Renji was and he would never put it past the man to make a full recovery in much less time than originally estimated.

“Kisuke?”

The blonde looked up to see Hisagi slide into the chair next to him. “I hope you’re not sitting there to apologize, Shuuhei.”

The bodyguard looked confused. “What? Why? Shouldn’t I?”

“No. You shouldn’t.”

“But I…”

“I know you think that you screwed up and maybe you did. Maybe you shouldn’t have left Ichigo and Renji to Ganju’s care. Maybe you and Ikkaku shouldn’t have gone to Ichigo’s apartment. Maybe you three should have all been at Renji’s house but you made your decision and at the time it was a good one. You did what you thought was best and I agreed with you at the time. You don’t need to apologize to me, Shuuhei. I don’t blame you for anything that happened. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But…”

“But if you feel the need to say you’re sorry to someone, maybe you should apologize to Ichigo. I’m certain he’s not going to blame you either but maybe that will soothe your conscience?”

Hisagi stared at Kisuke in disbelief. “How do you always know what people are thinking, Urahara?”

Kisuke shrugged. “One of my many talents.”

Hisagi grinned sadly and glanced over at Ichigo who sat at the table next to them with both hands wrapped around a foam cup of coffee. “I failed him though and I’m not sure I can ever forgive myself for it.”

“Go talk to him. I’m sure you can both work it out.”

Ichigo sensed, rather than saw, when Hisagi pulled out the plastic chair across from him and sat down. He felt the bodyguards gaze on him but he couldn’t bring himself to look up at him. He wasn’t angry at him per se. He knew it wasn’t Hisagi’s fault that she had gotten into the house but he also knew that it had been the raven haired man’s job to keep him and Renji safe.

“Ichigo?”

The singer tensed and stayed silent.

“Look, Ichigo,” Hisagi sighed. “You don’t have to say anything but please listen. I know I fucked up. Ikkaku knows he fucked up too and we’re both sorry. It doesn’t mean anything now, I know, but I had to tell you. I’m sorry, Ichigo, for screwing up and getting Renji hurt. I’m sorry that I failed you. I’m just…fuck. I’m so sorry, Ichigo.”

Hisagi was halfway standing when Ichigo pulled his eyes from the lukewarm coffee in his cup. “I can’t forgive you,” he whispered.

The bodyguard froze, still bent over the table and he stared at Ichigo’s sad face.

“I can’t forgive you, Hisagi, because there’s nothing to forgive. Stop apologizing.”

“No, Ichigo. I…”

“I figure she would have gotten to me eventually no matter what I did or what you did. She was fucking crazy. You weren’t there. You didn’t see the look on her face. Nothing would have stopped her. She was coming regardless of what you guys did to prevent it.”

“But…”

“Renji got hurt and I would do anything to go back in time and change that. If I could I’d go back and make him stay in bed. I wouldn’t have taken that shower so that I could have gone downstairs first. If I could change things I would, but I can’t. Renji got hurt but he’s going to be okay.”

“And what about you, Ichigo? Are you going to be okay?”

The younger man lifted one shoulder. “I think so. As long as Renji wakes up and can play the drums again then I’ll be fine. As long as he makes a full recovery I’ll be great.”

The bodyguard stood up and stared down at the tabletop, thinking for a moment, before nodding and walking away.

 

 

The black plastic box shook and vibrated across the cafeteria table an hour later. Everyone stared at it for a second before racing to the elevator. A young nurse was behind the surgical center’s desk when the group’s elevator reached their destination and she smiled kindly. “For Renji Abarai?”

Ichigo stepped forward. “Can we see him?”

“He’s being moved upstairs to the I.C.U. now.”

“I.C.U.? I thought he was okay?”

“We want to keep a close eye on him for the next couple of days. After that, if he’s well enough, he’ll be moved to a regularprivate room. It’s also our understanding that he’s a celebrity and that security may be an issue?”

Kisuke stepped forward. “Yes, he’s a musician and we would appreciate anything the hospital can do to limit the knowledge that he’s here.”

She nodded in understanding. “Of course. Anyone that calls and asks for a patient is automatically told that the patient isn’t here unless we’re instructed otherwise. The staff is also required to sign a confidentiality agreement. If anyone here spread anything about him being here they would lose their job immediately. Are you all family?”

“Yes,” the blonde answered with finality, daring the young woman to question him. “We’re all his family.”

“I see. I only ask because there are restrictions on visitors within the ICU. Only family members are allowed within the unit and only two at a time.”

“Can we see him now?” Ichigo asked.

The nurse smiled again. “If you’ll follow me.”

The group followed the young woman down a maze of hallways to another elevator that took them up two floors. From there they were led through a set of double doors labeled as the Intensive Care Unit. The nurse came to a stop next to the door of the waiting room. “Only two are allowed within the patient’s room at any time. The rest of you can wait here.”

Ichigo wanted to be the first to see Renji but he knew he couldn’t. The older couple that had raised him as their own should be the first. Afterall, they didn’t even know that he was more to Renji than his bandmate. Renji’s uncle squeezed his shoulder as they walked by and said softly. “We’ll keep it brief. I know you guys want to get in there to see him too.”

Ichigo nodded and watched them walk away, sighing in frustration.

“Sit down, Itch. You heard him. They won’t be long and then you can go in.”

The singer turned his head and looked at Grimm. “He just feels so close and yet too damn far away.”

“Sit the fuck down, Itch. You look like you’re gonna fall down any fucking second.”

Ichigo raised his middle finger and held it in the air. “That coming from the same guy that stumbled in drunk a couple of hours ago?”

Grimm smirked. “I’m sober now, ain’t I?”

“Are you?”

The guitarist shrugged. “Sober enough.”

An honest smile, even though small, spread across Ichigo’s face and he dropped his hand and sat down. “Thanks Grimm.”

“For what?”

“For making me feel better. You’re a dick but you’re always good at lightening the mood.”

“I do what I can.”

Ichigo smiled again and was about to say something else when a soft voice interrupted him.

“Ichigo?”

He turned to see Renji’s aunt walking through the door. “You can see him now.”

He stood immediately moved towards the door. “He’s awake, Ichigo,” she said with a smile. “And he asked for you.”  
“He’s awake?”

She nodded. “He was a second ago but he’s very loopy. The anesthesia and the painkillers are messing with his mind.”

“Thanks,” he answered before practically bolting out the door. He had one thought on his mind and it didn’t clear until he stepped into Renji’s room and saw the redhead lying in the bed. His hair was down and spread across the white pillow. It reminded Ichigo of the blood that had spilled from underneath the redhead’s body as he laid on his living room floor and almost died.

The singer took a deep breath and stood at the end of the bed for a second, staring down at the sleeping man. He was pale but he was alive. Burgundy eyes were closed and lips that were always ready for a wise crack were just barely open. Machines on either side of the bed beeped around him, monitoring vitals. Several bags were hung from two separate IV poles and the clear tubes ran down to the needles embedded in the tattooed flesh. Ichigo grasped the foot of the bed and leaned forward slightly. Renji was alive.

The proof was right in front of him and the breath he held gushed out in relief. Letting go of the bed, Ichigo moved to the redhead’s side and whispered his name.“Renji?”

Ichigo wasn’t sure what he expected so when drug-hazed eyes cracked open he almost fell over. “Renji?”

“Ich.”

The word was whispered so softly that Ichigo barely heard and he choked back tears. “Hey,” he whispered back, leaning forward. “I’m here.”

Renji’s mouth quirked into a tiny smile. “Hey.”  
Ichigo wanted to reach out and swallow the man within his arms. He wanted to hold him tight and never let go but knew he couldn’t. “You’re okay,” he said, lowering himself down to sit at the very edge of the bed. “Everything’s okay.”

“You…you o-okay?”

“Me? I’m okay, Ren. I’m okay.”  
Renji exhaled softly and tried to nod. “Worried.”

Ichigo shook his head. “Don’t be. I’m fine. I was so scared, Ren. I thought…I didn’t know if you were going to make it.”  
Both men looked at each other for several seconds without a word. Renji blinked slowly, obviously fighting to stay awake.  
“I should go,” Ichigo said sadly. “You need to rest.”

“No. Don…don’t leave.” Renji’s hand slid across the sheets and brushed Ichigo’s. The singer promptly lifted it gently and rested the drummer’s calloused palm against his own.

“I don’t want to leave but I can’t stay long. Everyone is out in the waiting room and they want to see you. Grimm and Toshiro and Kisuke. Karin’s here too and Hisagi and Ikkaku.”

“Ganju?”

“He’s okay. The last we heard he was in surgery but he should be out by now. I was so worried about you that I haven’t really cared about him. Awful of me, huh?”

“S’okay.”

Ichigo nodded.

“Ich…”

“Yeah?”

Renji squeezed the hand holding his as tightly as he could. “Love you.”

Ichigo squeezed back, albeit very gently. “I love you, Ren. So fucking much.”

“Kiss?”

Ichigo didn’t answer. He simply leaned forward and pressed his lips against Renji’s, holding them there for a time. It wasn’t enough but it would have to do and he pulled away sadly. “I love you, Renji.”

The drummer sighed happily and his eyes slowly drifted shut. He was half asleep when he mumbled his reply. It came out sounding like ‘Ove oo’ but Ichigo knew what he meant.

The orange haired man sat at the edge of the bed, holding his love’s hand as long as he could. A nurse eventually came in and told him he had to go and he sadly stood up, refusing to take his eyes off of Renji’s sleeping face. He was okay. Everything was okay. He pressed another soft kiss to Renji’s lips. “I love you, Ren,” he whispered. “I’m not leaving. I’ll be right outside.”


	24. Track 24

**Track 24 – Epilogue**

 

Ichigo yawned so wide he felt his jaw crack and he rubbed his cheek before stretching both arms high above his head and arching backwards just enough to make his back pop. He stood at the windows in his bedroom staring out at the city beyond. It had been eight months since Renji had been released from the hospital Eight months since he’d moved in with Ichigo. Eight months since the night their lives had changed. Eight months since they’d been able to really do anything together. Ichigo had felt the desire practically dripping from Renji but the redhead had been in no condition to do anything about it. The bullet had ripped through his chest, destroying the muscle and bone in its path and it had taken the redhead months to regain his strength. Ichigo had watched him struggle as he’d tried to sit at his drums and play and it had practically broken Ichigo’s heart. He could understand completely. If something had happened where he couldn’t play his guitar or sing anymore he wasn’t sure what he’d do.

It hadn’t been easy. As soon as Renji had been awake and alert Ichigo had asked him to move in. Renji had been momentarily hesitant but he’d finally smiled and accepted. Ichigo understood that too. Renji had loved his house but he couldn’t live there after what had happened. A cleaning crew had been sent in and there were no more traces of the attack. The blood had been wiped away and the smell of gunpowder was gone but the memories were still vivid within the walls. A young girl had died there and Renji could no longer call the place home. Ichigo had been ecstatic though. Within two days he’d had most of Renji’s things packed up and moved to his own loft. The crowning touch had been seeing Renji’s drum kit sitting next to Ichigo’s guitars.

“What are you doing?”

The soft contented voice pulled Ichigo’s attention back from the memories and his gaze from the bright spring day outside and he turned to face the bed with a smile on his face. “Enjoying the view,” he answered with a grin.

“Me too,” the half naked man on the bed said suggestively.

Ichigo smiled and teasingly ran his thumbs under the low riding waist of the black track pants he wore, gently snapping them against his hip bones.

Renji smiled back and adjusted his head against his pillow. “Such a tease.”

“And you love every minute of it.”

“True.”

Ichigo stretched again before crawling back onto the bed and lying next to his lover. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Real good, actually.”

“Ready for tonight?”

Renji’s eyes dropped to Ichigo’s lips and he licked his own in anticipation. “Uh huh.”

Ichigo smirked and leaned in. “I was talking about the show at the Metro, not what I’m going to do to you after.”

“I’m ready for both.”

Ichigo knew that Ren was back to a hundred percent, more or less, but he couldn’t help but feel apprehensive. Every time he saw the mess of pink puckered skin right above Renji’s heart he pulled away. Renji said it didn’t hurt but Ichigo knew the redhead would sugarcoat it. They’d both taken Renji’s recovery very seriously and they had tried to take things slow but undeniable chemistry, fiery passion and honest-to-god true love was impossible to dissuade. Since Renji had moved in their love life had progressed rather quickly. At first it had been Ichigo simply taking control and pleasing his lover. Within a month Renji had had enough of the guilt and wanted no more of the one-sided sex. Ichigo had been pleasantly surprised when the redhead had grabbed him around his waist and pulled the smaller man onto his lap. Ichigo hadn’t needed to be told what to do from there. He’d ridden his boyfriend hard until they’d both been soaked with sweat and panting with pleasure.

Afterwards, as they had warmed their cooling bodies by curling against each other Ichigo had pressed whisper soft kisses to the still healing scars on Renji’s chest and breathed words of undying love. They’d continued to be careful after that but the sex had gotten continuously hotter between them.

“You’re a perv,” Ichigo said, smiling, before lifting himself up and swinging a leg over Renji’s hip. He sat on the redhead’s thighs and smirked down at him. “You know that?”

The man lazing against black sheets grinned evilly. “I know.”

Ichigo was a hairsbreadth away from tasting Renji’s delicious mouth when the phone rang. He scowled deeply and reached for the buzzing piece of plastic on the nightstand. “Yeah? He growled into it, upset that he’d been interrupted.

“Well hello to you too, Ichigo. Is that any way to answer the phone?”

Ichigo sighed and sat up. “Sorry Kisuke.”

“Did I interrupt something?” the blonde teased.

“Yes, you did.”

“Sorry, Ichigo. I just wanted to remind you both that you need to be at the Metro by ten o’clock. Show time is midnight. The car will be by to pick you up at nine thirty.”

“Alright. We’ll get there, don’t worry.”

Kisuke chuckled. “Then I’ll leave you two to whatever you were up to. Tell Renji hello for me. Have fun and I’ll see you later.”

The call disconnected and Ichigo shook his head before sliding it back onto the table. “Kisuke said hello.”

Renji smiled and slid his hands up Ichigo’s thighs. “Oh yeah?”

Leaning back down and bracing himself with both hands on either side of Renji’s head, Ichigo nodded. “We’re supposed to be at the show at ten.”

“Hmm. I spose we can probably make it there in time.”

Ichigo mumbled a reply and met Renji’s lips halfway, tasting the man beneath him. It was a taste he’d never get enough of.

“Maybe.”

Night had fallen on the city by the time the two men crawled out of bed. They’d languished between the sheets, entangled in each other’s arms for as long as they could but the time eventually came when they needed to get cleaned up and ready to go. Ichigo watched with his mouth watering as Renji slid from the bed and sauntered into the bathroom. They’d spent hours in bed, giving each other as much pleasure as they could, and Ichigo still wanted more. He was certain that he’d never grow tired of having the redhead inside of him.

“Hey, Ren,” he called out. “Do you know what you’re wearing tonight?”

Renji peeked out from the bathroom and saw Ichigo standing inside the closet with a frown on his face. “The usual. Jeans and a t-shirt, why?”

Ichigo shrugged. “Just wondering.”

“Not like anyone can see me from behind my kit anyway, right?”

“True.”

“They’re there to see you and Grimm anyway,” the redhead said with a smirk.

“Yeah right.”

“And you’d look hot in a sack, Ich.”

Ichigo looked away from his clothes and smiled. “I’m not the only one, Ren.”

Renji chuckled. “Hurry up and decide and come join me.”

Not needing any other command than that, Ichigo pulled out his favorite black skinny jeans and a fitted gray t-shirt and threw them on the bed. The shower was on and steam was already filling the room when he entered the bathroom. He could see lightly tanned bare flesh and long blood red hair behind the misty glass and his mouth watered at the sight. He pulled the door open and silently stepped in. Renji rubbed his hands across his face before sliding them higher to run his fingers through his hair. The sight of him made Ichigo’s breath catch in his throat and he quickly pressed himself against the larger man’s back, kissing the spot between his shoulder blades. “You are so fucking sexy, Ren.”

Renji smirked and turned around. “Don’t tell me you’re ready to go again.”

Ichigo looked up into burgundy eyes and shrugged. “I’m always ready to go with you. Can’t help it.”

“Ich…”

“Yeah?”

Renji cupped the sides of Ichigo’s face and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Ren.”

 

Ichigo let the hot water run over his body, followed by Renji’s hands as the redhead gently soaped him up and washed away the dried sweat and other fluids and he sighed in sublime contentment. They’d been together for almost a year and Ichigo still found it a little difficult to believe that the redhead standing in front of him was actually his. He counted his lucky stars every day that he got to wake up with Renji next to him every morning, more times than not still wrapped in the other man’s arms.

They washed each other, pausing every few minutes to get hot and heavy and only ended the shower when the hot water started to run out. Scrambling from under the cold water the two men grabbed towels and moved into the bedroom. Ichigo watched as Renji pulled clean jeans and a t-shirt from the closet and pulled them on his still damp body. He loved how the cotton shirt clung to the tattooed flesh in all the right places.

Renji turned around in time to see Ichigo licking his lips and he shook his head. “Now who’s the perv, eh Ich?”  
Ichigo blushed and tugged on his own clothes. Pulling on tight jeans was hard enough when he was dry. Trying to slide the designer denim over damp legs was even more difficult.

The apartment phone rang a few minutes early and Ichigo answered with a quick Hello. The doorman downstairs announced that the car had arrived for them and the driver was waiting in the lobby. Ichigo thanked him and hung up, shouting to Renji that it was time to go. The redhead appeared moments later and Ichigo followed him out, grabbing his jacket on the way and pulling the door shut behind them. The walk to the elevator was quick and the trip down only slightly longer and Ichigo’s eyes widened when he saw their driver standing near the glass doors. “Hisagi?!”

The raven haired man smiled. “Hey, Ichigo. Renji, how are you doing?”

Renji smiled back. “I’m okay.”

“Hisagi, what are you doing here?”

“Kisuke invited us to the show and I offered to come pick you two up. Wanted to surprise you.”

“Us? Are Ikkaku and Ganju with you?”

Hisagi nodded. “Yeah, Ikkaku would have come with me to get you but it’s impossible to pull him away from Yumichika.”

Ichigo’s eyes widened again. “Yumi? What? Are they together now?”

The bodyguard rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. “Are they ever. I’ll let them fill you in though, if you don’t mind. I’m sure they’ll tell you all about it.”

Ichigo glanced at Renji and reached out for his hand, intertwining their fingers together. “Are you ready?”

Renji smiled and squeezed the singer’s soft hand. “Let’s go.”

Hisagi led the way outside and stopped at the door to a shiny black SUV. Ichigo climbed into the backseat and slid over to the other side making room for Renji to follow. The drive was short and sweet since their loft was only about four miles away from the venue. If circumstances had been different Ichigo would have walked but he didn’t want Renji walking eight miles and performing an entire set in one night. He knew he was being overprotective but Ichigo didn’t care. Renji’s health was his top priority and he’d do whatever he had to do to make sure Renji stayed at one hundred percent.

The doors to the venue weren’t open to ticketholders yet but a few fans were milling around when Hisagi pulled up and parked. They practically swarmed the two men as soon as they saw Renji get out of the car but it was all good-natured. Ichigo and Renji signed autographs and took photos with them before excusing themselves and going inside with Hisagi.  
Ichigo grinned like a fool as soon as they were inside. He loved the venue they were playing at. It was a smaller club and somewhere where they wouldn’t have played during a normal tour but this was a special show. They hadn’t played live since the night Renji had been hurt. Kisuke had wanted them to get out there and perform for months but Ichigo kept turning him down, even against Renji’s wishes. He’d refused to let his love go out and hurt himself again. Finally, Renji had convinced him that he was ready and Ichigo had grudgingly agreed to let Kisuke set something up. Ichigo had been happy that Metro had been chosen as their first show back. It was the perfect place. The club owners were very well known for bringing in raw new talent that had tons of potential. A Hollow Life had performed there during their first year together and had actually been the place they’d been at when Kisuke had discovered them. The rest, as they say, was history.

“Oi, Itch! Renji! Over here!”

Ichigo turned his head and saw Grimm coming around the bar. “Hey Grimm, where’s everyone else?”

“Backstage. Come on, they’re all waiting to see you.”

The three men went backstage and found practically everyone they knew waiting for them. Toshiro and Karin were standing together talking to Yuzu and Ichigo’s dad. Ikkaku and Yumichika were sitting together on a small loveseat, holding hands and whispering to each other. Rikichi, Renji’s drum tech was even there, sitting next to some of the band’s other roadies. Hisagi had stopped near Kisuke and his wife Yoruichi and it appeared they were both congratulating him on getting the two men to the show in one piece. Grimm moved away from and stopped directly in front of a very well endowed young woman with long green hair. Ichigo watched as the usually uncouth guitarist gently lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. The young woman blushed and pressed herself against Grimm before kissing him softly. The singer raised an eyebrow at the scene and reminded himself to ask Grimm about that later. “Renji and Ichigo, it’s lovely to see you two again.”

Both men turned to see the very lovely Mrs. Urahara approaching them. “Hey, Yoruichi,” Ichigo said with a smile. “It’s nice to see you too. It’s been a while.”

The beautiful dark skinned woman stopped in front of them and smiled before hugging them both. “You’re right. It’s been too long. How have you been? Renji, are you all better?”

“I’m better, thanks,” Renji answered. “Released from physical therapy and everything.”

“That’s good. Kisuke and I were worried.”

“No reason to be. I’m fine.”

Ichigo snorted and was about to reply when Grimm walked up and pulled him away. Yoruichi watched it all with a smile.

“Grimm has a new girlfriend,” she said approvingly.

“Yeah, I saw her, “Renji answered.

“Her name is Nel. She’s a lovely girl. I think she’ll be good for him if she can hold on to him. He seems tamer around her so I think there’s a good chance that she’s a keeper.”

Renji grinned. “She deserves to keep him if she can actually tame him.”

“I agree. So, Renji, you’re really alright? Kisuke and I were worried that this show tonight might be too soon. Ichigo tells him that you keep saying you’re all better but that you might be sugarcoating things a bit.”

The grin turned to a grimace and Renji ran a hand through his hair in slight aggravation. “No, I’m fine. Honestly. I know he’s just worried about me but I keep telling Ichigo that I’m back. I’m not hurt anymore. He seems to believe it until he sees the scar and then its right back to him being overprotective.”

“He loves you.”

“I know.”

“He worries because he loves you, Renji. I know it can get a little annoying at times but he’s only looking out for your best interests.”

Renji looked down into Yoruichi’s golden eyes and smiled. “Yeah, that’s what I keep telling myself.”

“I know it’s none of my business, Renji, but are you two okay? No trouble in paradise?”

The drummer shrugged. “We have our moments. I’m sure all couples do, you know, but we always talk it out and we never go to bed mad at each other. It seems to work.”

“And you’re happy?”

Renji smiled. “I’ve never been happier.”

Yoruichi smiled back and linked her arm through his, turning and pulling him towards her husband. “That makes me very happy to hear, Renji. I was thrilled when Kisuke told me about you two, you know. But then again, I wasn’t really surprised.

I’ve always known you two belonged together.”

“You did?”

“Of course. I can’t think of anybody more perfect with Ichigo than you. As cheesy as it sounds you two really do complete each other. You’re not whole without the other.”

Renji laughed. “That is completely cheesy, Yoruichi.”

She swatted him playfully and smiled at her husband as they stopped next to him. “I know.”

“Renji,” Kisuke said. “Good to see you.”

 

The group stayed backstage, catching up with each other for another hour or so. Kisuke had snacks catered in for everyone and they lounged around telling stories and laughing until it was time to do a quick sound check. Ichigo and Renji walked onstage together and smiled at each other. “Ready for this?” Renji asked.

“Always.”

By the time showtime hit the building had filled to overflowing with adoring fans and Ichigo could feel the pulse in the air. He was excited to get out there and perform again. He hadn’t realized until that moment just how much he’d missed performing. He’d been more than happy to stay at home with Renji but he needed this too. He needed the crowd and the music and the feel of the air as it hummed with energy.

Kisuke went onstage first and announced them. Ichigo felt like crying as he heard the heartfelt speech their manager gave. Kisuke wasn’t a man known for being overly wordy and as he stood there with the microphone in his hand, telling a story of how the band had come from practically nothing to being the huge hit they were today, Ichigo sighed contentedly.

The peace was short-lived though because as soon as Kisuke said the band’s name in expectation that they come onstage, the crowd went wild. Grimm stepped up and clapped a hand onto Ichigo’s shoulder and Toshiro stood by with a small smile on his face. Looking around, Ichigo saw Renji move in close and grasp the singer’s hand. “It’s time, Ich,” he said softly. “You ready?”

“Always.”

The band hit the stage to thunderous applause and they quickly found their places. Ichigo stared out at the crowd and felt the excitement was over him. “Hey everyone,” he said into the mic. “Thanks for coming out tonight. We’re gonna play a couple of songs for you now.”

The music started and Ichigo felt himself relax into it. It surged through him and he breathed it in, loving how it felt.

 _Hold on slow down again from the top now and tell me everything_  
_I know I've been gone for what seems like forever_  
_But I'm here now waiting_  
_To convince you that I'm not a ghost or a stranger_  
_But closer than you think_  
_She said, "just go on to what you_  
_Pretend is your life but_  
_Please don't die on me”_

 _Wings won't take me_  
_Heights don't faze me_  
_So take a step_  
_But don't look down_  
_Take a step_

 _Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall_  
_I think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong_  
_I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall_

 _Perpetual motion the image won't focus_  
_A blur is all that's seen_  
_But here in this moment like the eye of the storm_  
_It all came clear to me_  
_I found a shoulder to lean on_  
_An infallible reason to live all by itself_  
_I took one last look from the heights that I once loved_  
_And then I ran like hell_

 _Wings won't take me_  
_Heights don't faze me_  
_So take a step_  
_But don't look down_  
_Take a step_

 _Now I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall_  
_I think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong_  
_I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall_

 _I count the times that I've been sorry_  
_Now my compassion slowly drowns_  
_If there's a time these walls could guard you_  
_Then let that time be right now_

The band played several songs and as the show winded down to a close, Ichigo felt better than he had in months. Renji hadn’t faltered in his playing once and as Ichigo glanced back at him he saw the drummer smiling widely at him. Grimm and Toshiro had been at the top of their game and they’d played with everything they had. A Hollow Life was back.

Later, after most of the crowd had left, the band had the bar to themselves and they spent the rest of the very early morning hours laughing and drinking and telling stories of where they’d started. Ichigo took a sip of his beer and looked around. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Not that long ago he’d been a punk teenager with a silly dream of being in a band. Now, less than a decade later he was living that dream. His family was healthy and happy and he had a close knit group of friends that he wouldn’t replace for anything. Instead of only having two sisters he now had brothers as well. Brothers that would always look out for him.

Glancing across the bar he saw Grimm standing next to his girlfriend. He was talking to Renji and Kisuke with a glass of Grey Goose in his hand. Ichigo smiled, thinking back through the years and realizing that Grimm was exactly the same as he’d always been. He was the same foulmouthed rude asshole that he’d been in high school and Ichigo loved him for it. Grimm was a prick and he’d always be that way but he looked out for those he cared about and Ichigo was honored to be on that very short list.

Looking away, Ichigo saw Toshiro sitting with Karin, Yuzu and his dad. They were all laughing about something and the scene made his smile grow wider. His family was going to grow larger officially within a couple of months. Karin and Yuzu had been busy planning the upcoming wedding and Ichigo was proud to know he would soon stand up with them and watch as his baby sister got married to her one and only.

He took a swig of his beer and suddenly felt strong arms surround him. He felt the heat from Renji’s body and instinctively sank back into it. His head fit perfectly on the redhead’s shoulder and they stood together for a few moments, enjoying the feel of each other. “I was thinking,” Renji said softly. “We should take a vacation, just you and me. Before we get back into the studio."

Ichigo smiled. "A warm beach somewhere?"

Renji nuzzled his neck. "Sounds perfect."

Ichigo turned in his arms and looked up into his eyes. “Yeah?”

Renji stared down at him as if he were memorizing every aspect of Ichigo’s face. “Yeah. I love you, Ichigo."

"Yeah, I love you too, Ren."

 

**The End**

 

**_______________________**

**_General Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, profit from this story and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s)._ **

*All lyrics/songs referenced are by Rise Against - the best band ever. 

 

Songs used within A Hollow Life is as follows:

_Swing Life Away_

 

**Track 1:**

_Drones_

_Prayer of the Refugee_

_Savior_

               

**Track 2:**

_Like The Angel_

**Track 3:**

_Give It All_

**Track 7:**

_The Dirt Whispered_

**Track 8:**

_Elective Amnesia_

**Track 9:**

_Kotov Syndrome_

 

**Track 10:**

_Generation Lost_

**Track 17:**

_Tip The Scales_

**Track 18:**

_Life Less Frightening_

_The Good Left Undone_

 

**Track 19:**

_Survive_

 

**Track 25:**

_Ready To Fall_

 

 


End file.
